Degrassi:The Real Toronto
by MunroInMyChambers
Summary: What happens when best friends and sisters Clare and Alli have to pick up and move thier lives to Toronto. Where they attend a High School called Degrassi which is the loation of the most popular reality tv show. Will the find love, drama or trouble?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! Im really excited beause this is my very first Fan Fic! Please be honest and let me know if you like it or not like it! Should I continue or no! Read and Review! Thanks soooo much! Love you all my Degrassi and ECLARE buddies! Now off you go! :)**

As I crawl on to my bed with a big bowl of popcorn, comfy sweatpants, my cell phone on my FaceRange page and my best friend to share the expirence with we were ready for our ritual on Thursday nights. And by ritual yes i do me a religious OCD kind of thing. Me and my sweet , caring, gorgeous and obssesive talker best friend Alli always have a Thursday night girls date. It was the one night we set aside to unleash our obssession with reality tv. I know exactly what people start to think when you mention reality tv; stupid made up plots, rich and fake tan beautiful people but we didnt care. Every Thursday night at 9:00 on CTV was Canda's most popular tv show. This master piece of God crafted art was called Degrassi. And as stupid as this may sound for an amazing reality show its about teenagers who attend Degrassi Comminity School. These teens were in High School and showed the different problems with high school drama! You know like Popularity, sex, underage drinking and such. Who could not love that? Ok Yes i will admit there are some rich, snoby, tan, faked boobed bimbos and some incredibly sexy amazingly scupltered boys and maybe thats not exactly everyday occurences in most teens life but the drama was incredible! There were also normal kids to so it kinda equaled it out. The fact was we believed They were real and i guess if Alli and I coudnt live like famous people on a reality show we would live it through these teens. I know you want to laugh but hey in America, Laguna Beach was a big hit and this was Canadas version!

"Eeek Clare its starting!" Alli screamed in her high pictched voice.

"Loud much?" I said sarcastically.

she laughed and rolled her eyes.

Alli and I are best friends and well sisters. We have been besties since we were 2 and about 9 years ago when we were 7 Alli was spending the night at my house and we got a call and were told that her parents and older brother had been killed in a car accident . It was really rough on her because she was so young and very close with her big brother. I tried to be there to comfort her and it really bonded us closer. Since all of her relatives lived in India they allowed her to stay here and live with me. Through all the turmoil Alli wanted to stay and I absolutley loved the idea. I dont know what i would do without her. She was a beautiful dark skinned Indian beauty. She had deep choclate brown eyes, long black hair, and a wardrobe that is better suited for the streets of New York rather than a small secluded town in Ontario, Canada. We were complete opposites but completly inseperable.

"Oh my God Clare isnt this suppose to be the episode when Jenna tells K.C that shes totes preggers!" Alli asked

"Yea I think so and I pray to God that he isnt a jerk to her." I replied.

The theme song started to play and we would sing along and scream and let our hearts melts as our favorites crossed the screen.

As we sat and watched the drama unfold we would scream and gape at the tv and pray outloud that what we wanted to happen would happen.

"Alli I swear if Eli doesnt break up with that tramp Julia I will die!" I said quietly so my parents wouldnt hear my "Non Jesus use of language"

"How can you be in love with Eli when clearly Drew is waaaayy Sexier!" Alli squaled

"I dont know, I mean ya Drew is deffently sexy but Eli has this dark and twisted sexy sense of humor about him. Its a definte turn on."

Alli turned with brown eyes open wide and said "Saint Clare did you just say something Turns you on?"

I was for sure blushing now

"Finally your grow up and become a woman. I mean dont get me wrong, sweet and innocent Clare is cute but its so much fun on the wilder side."

"Alli you have only ever made out and fooled around with one guy so how is that wild?" I pondered

"Hey its alot farther than you've gone Clare bear"

We both giggled and turned our eyes back to the television and continued to watch our favorite show.

"Ugh why do they always leave you with cliff hangers!" Alli said when the show ended.

"I know! It keeps you watching but makes me so pissed because they didnt tell me if Eli is breaking up with that bimbo! I mean come on that slut has cheated on him too many times!" I said in frusturation.

Alli just stared at me. I think I was surprising her more and more everyday.

"What?" I asked

"What happend to you Clare? Reality television makes you act I dunno more real and less Jesus freak." she giggled as we cleaned up our mess from the night.

"I guess Im just tired of being miss goody two shoes all the time."

"Well Clare I certainly dont mind helping you come out of your shell! Ooo we should go to the mall and find some hot boys, older of course and and double date! Oh that would be so much fun and we could-"

"Woah Alli I was thinking along the lines of i dont know a new dress or something. God Alli!" I laughed out loud.

"Okay I'm sorry. We'll see what we can do with that tomorrow. I'm goin to bed! Night Clare Bear! Love you sister!" she squealed and skipped out of my room.

I laughed and locked my door. I went over to my closet and grabbed an old T-Shirt from freshman year. I changed quickly and shut of my light and crawled into my comfy bed. I didnt realize how tired i was when i started drifting off to sleep.

"Are you serious! We cant just pick up and leave!"

I was awaken from my slumber by my mom's ear piercing scream. I rolled over and looked at my night stand grabbing my phone and it saying it was 3 O'clock in the morning. What the hell was going on!

I slipped off my covers, climbed out of bed and tip toed to my closed door. I quietly opened it and peeked my head out, noticing Alli was doing the same thing. We both giggled lightly and then listened in on our parents conversation.

"I'm sorry but what choice do I have? This is my job, our way of living. When they say we go then we go!" Dad yelled back.

"So you just expect the girls to be ok with this? They have lived in this town thier entire lives. This is all they know. This is where Alli's parents and brother are." I could tell my mom was tearing up and I quickly turned and looked at Alli who had a tear streaming down her face.

Alli hated to speak about her family and what had happened. After that day she asked us to never speak of it again. She just bottled everything up but that was her was her way of dealing with it and I respected that.

"I understand that and believe me I dont want to do this to our girls, especially if it hurts Alli. But if I say no to this then I loose my job and we loose everything. We cant afford to do that. I know this is going to be hard for this family but this is is a huge promotion."

"I know, I just dont know how to tell them. I mean this is a very small secluded town and moving them to the big city of Toronto is a huge change."

Alli and I both immediatly looked at eachother and mouthed "Toronto?" with astonished looks on our faces. We both looked at eachother and nodded our heads, both knowing we were going down stairs to immideatly protest this move. This is our home and we are not leaving!

We both started storming our way down the stairs and our parents looked at us with a surpirsed look on thier faces.

"Oh ya you better believe we heard you!" Alli said and I some how managed to raise my voice as well. "We cant move! Dad how could you do this to us! We have grown up here! We are starting our Junior year next week! I dont want to have to make all new friends and learn about a whole new school!" I was getting mad.

"Clare I understand that this will be hard but.. We have to. I will loose my job if we dont. You girls are both young, vibrant and out-going you will be just fine."

"But Dad!" both me and Alli screamed. You would think it would be wierd that Alli called my dad her dad but she has lived with me for 9 years and he and my mother have become her parental figures I guess you could call it. My parents had adopted her as thier own when she was 12 and she loves them as her own parents. No one could ever replace hers but my parents were there for her and she loved that.

"Girls please. Your father is right. Look on the bright side you will get to live in a city you both love to go shop in and visit!" Mom said trying to lighten the mood.

"Mom key word there was VISIT not live!" I yelled while tears started to form in my eyes.

"How are we suppose to leave all our friends behind? And start a new school?" Alli said

"Well the company is furnishing our move and has even bought us a house to live in on thier expense. I have heard the school district you are in has a great school. They have great academics and wonderful sports. I hear thier Cheerleading team is excellent Alli and they are already expecting you to try out." Dad said while trying to sugar coat the situation.

We both rolled our eyes and crossed our arms. Man we were like twins.

"We really have no choice do we?" Alli asked and they both just shook thier heads.

"When do we have to leave?" I asked

"Well since you both know now we should leave this weekend. You both start school Monday." Dad said seeming a little bit afraid of our response.

"Ugh, this cant be happening!" I sighed.

"So what is this self proclaimed amazing school called " Alli asked shyly.

"Well its a very well know school but Im not sure why but I think its called um.. De.. Degrassi?"

"This is all so unfair I cant beli-" I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of my sentence.

Alli grabbed my arm and her jaw dropped. I just stood there with my eyes wide and mouth opened. I finally managed to speak.

"Did you just say Degrassi?"

"Yes. Why?" My dad asked curiously.

I looked at Alli and smiles started to grow across both of our faces. I turned and looked at our parents.

"Well this move may not be so bad after all."

**Sooo was it good bad? I know its short but Its just the start! Please let me know what you think! Thank guys! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I cant believe how many reviews I got with story only being up for a day! I wasnt expecting it, so thankyou so much! I have finished Chapter 2 and I really hope you like it as much as the first one! This kinda of sets the stage for a few friendships, love intrests and the new lives for Alli and Clare. Also I know when I read Fan Fics I always think of cool stuff that could be used in that story so if there is anything you might want to see at anytime withtin the story just let me know! I will try to use it! Anyways thanks again and enjoy Chapter 2!**

"Clare, Alli come one these boxes won't move themselves" Mom shouted from downstairs.

Alli and I both groaned as we sat in the middle of my room looking through our photo albums and yearbooks of us and all our friends. We had to admit to ourselves that we were excited about going to a new school that just so happens to be where our favorite reality TV show was filmed but in our reality we were still struggling with leaving our home. We had spent the past 16 almost 17 years of our lives here, so this wasn't the easiest thing to do.

"Clare I'm kind of scarred about this. I mean not just that I don't want to leave our lives here but what if Degrassi is worse than what they show on TV? I get that some of the show could be scripted but these kids are from the city and we are from the country! It's like a kid from Oklahoma moving to New York City! This may be the death of us!" She said with a worried look on her face.

"Alli I think your being a bit over dramatic as usual." I giggled lightly. "I am scarred to. I have no idea what to expect but you aren't going in this alone. I'm going to be right there with you the whole time, I promise." I said trying to soothe her. I was usually the calm and motherly one while Alli on the other hand was extremely dramatic.

She just nodded at me and we then put our pictures and last minute items in boxes and started carrying them downstairs. Once everything was securely in the moving truck we took one last look at our house. Both of us quietly crying as we looked at each room and thought of all the memories we had here. Some good and some bad but this had been our life.

Alli then walked over to me and connected her arm with mine and we slowly made our way out of the house. Remembering the memories and walking away from the bad. With my Dad in the moving truck, my Mom in her van and Alli and I in our car we drove off, hopefully we were ready for what was to come.

We finally arrived in Toronto four hours later. When Dad told us that his company was buying us a house to live in we didn't expect much and we definitely didn't expect what we pulled our vehicles up to. As we followed our parents in and we took in our surroundings we noticed that we were pulling into a Gated Community. This was totally unexpected! We drove thru the gate and just a couple more blocks before we parked.

We looked to where we were going to live and Alli with eyes widened looked at it and said "Holy Shit Clare! You have got to be kidding me! It's amazing and oh my God it's HUGE!"

"Alli, Language!" I snapped but I couldn't help but think the same thing.

She laughed and we both got out of our car and walked up to where our parents stood hugging each other on the sidewalk.

"Dad are you sure this is it?" I asked almost sure we had gone to the wrong house.

"Yes Clare Bear I'm positive. I helped pick it out do you like it?"

I stared at this gorgeous wide 2 story huge house. It was amazingly white with grand windows and black shutters making it look modern but unique. It had a cobblestone walkway leading you to the front door. It had a wraparound porch that was ground level. On each side of the bright Red French doors there were 2 columns holding the cover that came out over the porch giving it shade but also creating a massive balcony for what looked like the master bedroom upstairs. Flowers surrounded the front of the house making it look beautiful. I can only imagine what the inside looked like.

"Dad it's beautiful. I love it!" I said giving him a hug and Alli nodded beside me.

"Shall we?" Dad asked while waving his hand in front of us urging us to proceed and make our way inside.

Alli looked at me and we both smiled while running up to the front door and we walked in amazed. It was unbelievable. It was carefully decorated with furniture that would replace ours and pictures that photographers had taken their time on. There were cherry hardwood floors in every room and it looked roughed down giving it a unique but a very antique look. We gasped when we looked to our right just inside the door and seen the large family living room and it had a huge Flat Screen TV with a massive sound and game systems.

"Dad did they put all this furniture in here to?" Alli asked

"Actually, No. I got a sign on bonus for my new promotion in which your mother and I got to pick out all new items for our new home."

"You like it right?" Mom asked worried.

"It's amazing Mom! Great taste! And Oh my Gosh the Flat Screen! Thank you so much!" I said while running to hug them both.

"Well we have one surprise before you check out your rooms. This was one of the reasons we chose this house because we knew how much you both would love this so go to the back yard." Dad said with a big grin plastered on his face.

I was confused and so was Alli but something in the back of our mind clicked and we both ran laughing out of the living room back into the main entrance down the hall and to our left out the kitchen back door.

"No way!" We both screamed as we looked at the huge back patio decked with everything you would need for a party (Not that we would tell our parents that of course). To our right on the patio was a Jacuzzi hot tub! Not only that but right past the patio into our back yard we had a huge pool with a diving board. This can't be for real. He was really winning us over. Damn!

"Dad this is incredible!" I screamed.

"Is this really ours?" Alli asked while jumping up and down.

"You girls make it sound like we gave you a very dull and boring life." Mom said laughing at our reactions.

"No it's not that. I loved our old house it was nice a cozy but this is all that and more! You are really trying to make up for making us move aren't you?" I asked while laughing along with mom.

"Well I did feel pretty horrible about having to do that to you so yes I guess so."

"Well thanks Dad its amazing!" I said and Alli nodded in agreement.

"Well go upstairs, find your rooms and let's get our stuff unpacked!" Mom said heading inside.

We ran inside and upstairs to find our rooms at the end of the hall and they were right across from each other just like our old house. We went to Alli's room first which had been painted her favorite color and I'm positive you can guess, Hot Pink. She squealed in excitement when she seen it. She had a four post black wood Full Sized bed with two black night stands and a wide black dresser to finish of the matching set. Her favorite part was next and I had never heard her scream so loud!

"Ahhhh! Oh my God, a walk in closet! It's as big as my other room back at the old house! We have to go shopping! I have to fill this baby up!" She screamed

I just laughed and played along with it. Once we were finished looking at the closet we headed into her bathroom and noticed that everything was doubled. 2 toilets, 2 very modern showers and a long counter and mirror with 2 sinks.

"Clare I think it's for both of us! It's connected to your room! That is so cool!"

We ran to the other door on the opposite side of the bathroom and walked right into my room. It had the exact same set up except my walls were painted my favorite color, Sky Blue. I was so excited to be in this house and live here that it helped me forget about leaving my other life behind.

"Alli this is our chance to start new. To be who we really are and what we want to be. No previous labels from our old school our town. This means no more teachers pet scientist Alli and no more Saint Clare." I said staring her straight in the face.

"Trust me I am happy to shed that God awful geeky image. And as for you how do you mean no more "Saint Clare"?" She asked

"Like I said the other day, I'm tired of being a miss goody two shoes who never does anything wrong. I mean I still have my values and stuff but maybe it's time to not be so.. So..?"

"Prude? Shy? A Loner?" Alli said cutting in.

"Alli!" I said while slapping her on the arm playfully.

"What? Hey someone had to tell you." She said laughing. "But seriously I know what you mean. When we start Degrassi on Monday we are officially starting brand new. And you know what that means right?"

"Um exactly what you said?"

"No! It means if we are starting new than we need a whole new wardrobe and look to match. We have to talk dad into some shopping money!"

I laughed and said "Ok Deal. New house, new school, new clothes and a brand new us!"

We both smiled and knew that this was going to be an unforgettable year.

After everything was pulled off the moving truck and moved into the house Dad and Mom left to go take the truck back while Alli and I moved our Vehicles inside to the garages. Once we were finished we started to head back inside when we noticed two boys about our age were walking across the street towards us.

"Hey wait up." One of the boys said. As they got closer to us I felt Alli freeze right next to me and I began to take notice why. The two boys that were approaching us were not only good looking but they were also two of the stars of Degrassi. This was so not happening; it's too good to be true!

"Hey you girls must be our new neighbors. I'm Adam and this is my brother Drew." Adam said smiling.

"We Kno-" I elbowed her slightly and she understood what that meant.

"I mean it's nice to meet you. I'm Alli and this is my sister Clare." Alli tried again while she was staring at Drew who was also completely lost and out of the conversation simply because he was staring at her too.

I could see why Alli couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was gorgeous! He had an amazing to die for type of smile and an Abercrombie and Fitch model type of body. He wore semi-tight blue jeans and a blue plaid button down shirt and my God his boxers were showing. Believe me I have no idea why that is so hot to girls but man was it sexy! Adam on the other hand was completely opposite. He was definitely not ugly but he was more of a softer, I could love you all my life type of guy. He wore baggy blue jeans with a gray zip up sweatshirt and a beanie. He looked like the skateboarding type and he was really cute.

"Where did you move here from?" Adam asked breaking me out of my trance.

"Oh um, from a really small town called Hanover. About four hours away."

"That's cool. What brought you here to the wonderful city of Toronto?"

"Well our Dad works for a major corporation and they transferred him here. Kind of sucks but then again Toronto is a beautiful city. We've visited a few times." I said nicely

"So you have visited but have you ever truly been shown Toronto by a Toronto native?" Drew asked slyly.

"No I guess not, we have just been shopping a few times is all." I explained

"Ah I see, well then would you lovely ladies be interested in us being your tour guides?" Adam asked us both.

Alli and I both looked at each other and knew we couldn't pass this up.

"That would be great! Can we change first? Been moving all day" Alli said giggling.

"Yeah no problem we just live right across the street so just let us know when you're ready." Drew said winking at Alli.

We both smiled and walked inside; after making sure the door was closed we bolted upstairs to get dressed. Our parents said it was fine which totally shocked us but we got dressed and dolled up and ran back downstairs and the guys were waiting outside for us in front of our house in their car. We both got into the back seat.

"So tour guides where to?" Alli asked

"That's a secret and a trusty tour guide never reveals his secrets." Adam said

We all laughed and they drove downtown to the heart of Toronto. It was beautiful and quite frankly it was mine and Alli's dream. There were tall buildings and lots of places to shop. People were everywhere walking downtown. It was almost like when we visited New York and it has such a wonderful feeling to it. Adam soon parked the car and we all got out and roamed the streets of Toronto. Visiting all of the tourist attractions, giving a dollar to a young guitarist and taking a few taxi rides just for the fun of it. We were having the time of our lives; we have only been here for one day and had already made great friends. Drew and Alli were almost inseparable the whole night; Laughing and flirting the whole time. There was nothing more than friendship between me and Adam and I think even he understood this.

"So Clare, do you like the city so far?" He asked me.

"It's amazing. It's so beautiful and full of energy. It will take some time getting used to but I think I will be just fine. I know Alli loves it and it's good for her."

"How is that?" He asked curiously

"Well she doesn't like to talk about it but when we were little her parents and brother, were killed in a car crash. She has lived with me ever since. I just think it's good for her to be in a new environment you know?"

"Wow that really blows, but yeah I get what you mean." He paused. "So I take it you both will be going to Degrassi then?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of nervous about it to be honest. Your school is well.. You know."

"Yeah I was waiting for that to come up. Don't be nervous, it's not as bad as what it's made out to be. I mean it has its drama and whatever but it is just a normal school."

"All I'm saying is that my old high school never had a break out of STD's, sexting problems, pregnant cheerleaders, and not to mention fake pregnancies and miscarriages." I said laughing.

He started laughing with me "Yeah I know Degrassi is one of a kind but I think you will fit right in and you'll love it."

"Thanks, I hope so." I said smiling

"Hey Adam we are starving you wanna head over to The Dot? I think the rest of the crew is over there." Drew came walking up with Alli.

"Yeah sure let's go."

We all walked back to the car and made our way to The Dot. They explained that it was a hang out near Degrassi and had amazing food and we then had to remind them that we embarrassingly watch the show and know all about The Dot. They thought this was hilarious and we were blushing from embarrassment. When we arrived at the restaurant we all got out of the car and started to walk in.

"We are meeting some of our friends here, hope that's ok?" Drew said

"Yea that sounds great!" Alli said excitedly

We walked into the chill café and towards the corner with Drew and Adam leading the way. The each did their "Manly" hugs and handshakes with their guy friends and girl friends.

"Guys this is Alli and Clare; they just moved here. Clare, Alli this is Fiona, K.C., Jenna and Eli." Adam said introducing.

They all stood up and started saying hi and trying to get to know us. I had barley even registered anyone else saying hello to me, because from the moment I stepped in here and walked in front of them my eyes were locked with the boy sitting in the corner. He was wearing black skinny jeans, white shirt, and a black leather jacket. He had beautiful Straight and shaggy black hair almost covering his eyes. Oh my god his eyes; they were a deep green that I had never seen before. So amazing that, I had gotten lost within them. I in that moment would be fine to never look away from those eyes. In that moment those eyes were my world.

**Well there was chapter 2! Please dont forget to Review so I know if I should continue! Thankyou so much! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! I cant believe that I only have 2 chapters and 21 reviews! It really means alot to me and makes me feel great about this story! So just so you know I kinda like Fan Fics with a bit of drama and alot of Fluff. So hopefully the ideas I have for this story you will love! So without further to do I would like to present chapter 3! I hope you like it! Dont forget to Review at the end so I know Im doing ok! Enjoy! :)**

**Discliamer: I dont own any of the Degrassi Characters or Plots. I own my story and just like to use some of them :)**

As I stood there gazing into those amazing green eyes all was lost. I didn't know this boy. I knew his TV personality but was that the real him? On TV he was a very dark ad twisted kind of character. One who could make you laugh and be your best friend but also one who doesn't show emotion. For what seemed like eternity in those few seconds, I had the experience of a lifetime. I felt as if I could see everything in those eyes; happiness, sorrow, joy and pain. It felt like I could see every moment of his life just within those eyes. You would think this would be an awkward moment but somehow deep inside I knew he was enjoying the same kind of moment I was.

"Hey, I'm Eli." He said and then gave me the most amazing smirk I have ever seen. I swear that the sky opened up and God was shining heavenly light on this boy. He was perfect and I was perfectly stupid for not introducing myself back.

"This would be the part where you tell me your name." He said while a smile with gleaming white teeth appeared on his face.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm Clare."

"Clare? I like it." he paused for a moment "You have pretty eyes" he said while gazing at me.

I'm pretty sure I must have been granted a wish. "Thanks" I said while I felt my cheeks starting to burn.

"Would you like to sit? We're about to order some food."

I nodded and he pulled out a chair for me at the table across from him. Damn now he was going to watch me eat, should I be like those proper girls and eat a salad? No, that's what Alli will do and I know a salad will not hold me over. I wasn't a pig but I had a really fast metabolism so I never gained any weight. I was a nice 120 pounds with a not to skinny slim kind of body. I wasn't one to obsess about those kinds of things, I was just me and "me" was really craving some good food!

The waitress came to our table and started taking everyone's orders. Alli of course got her miniature salad; when it was my turn I could tell Eli was interested in seeing what I would order. Was this a test? Hopefully I would pass.

"What will you have?" She asked me

I had a plan. "Eli, what would you recommend?"

"Oh well the Grande Nachos are good but it's a lot to eat."

"It can feed about 3 people." The waitress stated.

"Share some with me?" I asked with as cute of a smile I could muster up.

I think he kind of blushed but it went away as soon as it happened. "Yeah sounds good."

The waitress took the menus and walked off. I looked at Eli and smiled.

"So Clare do you like it here so far?" Eli asked me.

"Yeah I do. Toronto is such a beautiful city and great people." I said trying to hint that he was one of those people. Man I suck at flirting. Wait do I want to flirt? Yes.

"I'm excited to start at Degrassi on Monday. Nervous but excited. You think you can show me around. Alli will probably be ditching me since she found herself a new boy toy."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Drew No but Alli ditching me yes." I laughed

"No worries, I'd love to show you around. Spending time with you doesn't sound horrible to me" Would you call that flirting? I think yes!

Our food finally arrived and Eli and I both dove into the Nachos. They were delicious. We continued our banter; he was asking me questions about my old life in Hanover and random questions like what my favorite color was. I would then in turn ask him the same things. He was hard to get information out of for some reason. When he asked if I had ever seen the show I had to admit that it was a weekly ritual for both Alli and I. He laughed at this and I had never heard a laugh so angelic. It started deep inside then busted out and gave me joy.

"What? Hey I'm not from here, I'm from Hanover for crying out loud! Degrassi was all we had." I protested in my defense.

"Ok fine I will credit you that. I guess you just don't seem like the kind of girl who would be into it." He said cautiously

"What do you mean? Is that a bad thing?"

"No definitely not. I dunno it's just that most the girls who watch the show are major wannabe's. They don't know what they want or who they are so they copy what they watch. But you; Clare your different. If you don't know what you want in life you don't show it. Your graceful I guess you could say."

"Thanks I try." I said laughing and teasing him. "You aren't what I expected either. You're kind of portrayed as a dark person with no emotions. Clearly that's not the case."

"We don't really get to choose how we come off as on TV. I'm not really sure how I even got involved. When they first came to the school they auditioned everyone who had a unique look or big group of friends. I said no but all my friends said yes so I kind of got dragged into it."

"Do you like it now?"

"Yes and No. It's hard to have my personal life displayed for everyone to see but you get used to it."

"So does that mean it's really not scripted?" I asked

"No it's all real." He chuckled

"Clare! Since you two have been ignoring us for like 2 hours Fiona just invited everyone to her house for a party? Can we go please! Alli whined.

I looked over at Eli and he nodded making it clear he was going as well. "Yeah that sounds fun!" I said

"Yes! This means that you have to hang out with us girls! Eli you can't hog her all night!" Fiona said and Eli started blushing as did I.

"Ok sounds great!" I said. I was actually really excited to get to know Fiona and Jessica. I would love to have friends before starting a new school. We all got up and made our way outside. With Alli and I in Adams car and the rest in Eli's car which by the way was a hearse. This may sound weird but that was a turn on, really sexy. We arrived at Fiona's house and made our way inside. There were already lots of other kids there and loud music raging thru the house. The guy's separated from us and we girls went outside to the deck. Fiona had like a million extra swim suits so we borrowed some and got in the hot tub. We were laughing and having a great time.

"Fiona your house is amazing!" Alli screeched

"Ha, Thanks! It's just me and my twin brother here so it gets pretty lonely. My parents are in New York but there is no way I'm leaving here. This is home! You girls are welcome here anytime! Seriously Jess is here all the time along with Holly J!" Fiona said happily.

"Holly J? Isn't she dating your brother?" I asked

"Yeah that's actually why she isn't here now she's with Declan but she's also mine and Jessica's best friend!"

"But now it looks like we have more girls being added to our group!" Jessica said smiling really big at me and Alli.

"We are happy to join!" Alli laughed

We all stayed in the hot tub the rest of the night until it was time to go home. Drew and Adam came and got us to take us home and we said our goodbyes with Fiona and Jessica; we even made plans to go shopping tomorrow before the first day of school. On our way out I heard someone calling my name from behind.

"Clare, wait up." Eli said. "I'm sorry I haven't seen you since we got here. But I want to hang out again if you want to?" he said it as a question.

"Yeah I would love to. Let me see your phone. I'll put my number in." I gave him my number and turned to get in the car.

"Don't you want mine?" He asked

"No, I think I will get it when you make the first move. I'll be waiting. Goodnight Eli." I said and winked at him. I got in the car and we headed home. I don't know what has gotten into me but with Eli I felt free. I felt like I could flirt and be with him carelessly. I don't know what's going to happen this year but whatever it is I hope it's with him.

Eli POV

What are you doing Eli! I was mentally screaming at myself for leading this girl on. I couldn't help it; she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. She had beautiful light colored auburn curls that bounced almost hitting her shoulders and cream colored skin. She had a perfect heart shaped face and the most amazing blue eyes. I loved her eyes and her smile. The way she smiled sent me spiraling into happiness just watching her. She was small but round; toned and slim but not disgustingly skinny. To sum it up I want this girl. Just talking to her all night at The Dot felt like I had known her for more than just an hour. Like we were old friends just catching up. The way she moved, laughed and guarded herself like a lady made me more intrigued. I want her but I can't have her. I was taken; I have been wanting to break up with that Bitch Julia for a while but something in my heart has always beat for her. I don't know what to do. Tomorrow is Monday, the first day back to school and she will be there and so will _she_. I need to talk to my best friends and find out what I need to do.

"Can I talk to you guys about something?" I asked my two best friends in the whole world.

"Yeah." Adam said "Go for it" said Fitz.

"Ok so I think I might break up with Julia." I started

"It's about Damn time!" Fitz said "She's a real Bitch. Sorry Bro but you're better off without her."

"Yeah I have to agree dude. You seemed like you had your eyes on someone else the other night anyways." Adam said wiggling his eye brows like an idiot.

"Oh really? And who was this?" Fitz asked curiously.

"Her name is Clare. She's beautiful Man, but I don't think I deserve her and I'm not so sure I'm her type. Although it did seem like she was flirting with me."

"Oh she was flirting. She didn't even say anything the whole ride home. It's like she was in a daze. It was funny. But wait what do you mean you're not her type?"

"Well I think I'm to not "Christian" for her." I said using air quotes. "I think that maybe I'm to dark and twisted for her? I dunno"

"You mean Emo?" Fitz said while laughing. I punched him playfully in the arm.

"Dude I'm serious this girl is amazing but I have been with Julia for 3 years. How can I just throw that away?"

"Um it's easy. She's a huge Bitch how could you not throw that away! Julia has cheated on you so many times Eli!" Fitz said. "Look, the three of us are like brothers. Adam and I have known you since Grade 3 and been best friends ever since. So as your best friend I have to tell you that if this girl Clare makes you happy than go for it." He finished

"Yea I agree. You worry more about if Julia loves you or if you should break up than actually spending time with her."

"I don't even really know Clare. I won't play the field with her either. I couldn't do that to her; she's too special."

"Call Julia, End It now." Fitz said.

So I did. I called Julia and told her I needed to see her right away. I left Adam and Fitz at my house and went to meet Julia at The Dot. When I got there and was walking in I knew this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought. I walked in to find her making out with Owen from school. Before she even noticed me Owen kissed her goodbye and walked right past me. I was invisible to him.

"You are such a slut Julia." Right after I said this I remembered that this whole time the cameras were on me. When I was talking to Fitz and Adam and now when I was slamming Julia. I have had people recording my daily life for 2 years now that I tend to forget when they are here. Shit, now Clare will know what I said about her. Oh well no going back now.

"Excuse me?" she said astonished. "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" She stood up from her seat.

"I'll say whatever I want Julia! This is the last time I let you cheat on me. And with Owen? Are you seriously that low?" I yelled

"Oh my God that's what you are freaking out about? It's not like I was having sex with him right here in the middle of The Dot! It was just a kiss get over it!" She said while walking towards me. "Babe you got to learn to let the little things go." She tried to wrap her arms around my neck but I backed off and she stumbled a little.

"The little things? Are you fucking kidding me! Julia it doesn't matter if you have sex or just kiss someone it's called cheating! Which you have done more times than I can count. I can't take it anymore. I love you and have spent three years of my life giving everything I have to you. I never once treated you bad and never would I ever think to cheat on you!" I was getting pissed and I felt like I wanted to cry but I don't cry. I hardly ever show my emotions but my very pissed off Angry emotion was boiling.

"Eli what are you saying? You are confusing the hell out of me!" She said

"I'm saying that it's over. I don't want to be together anymore. I can't take you cheating on me anymore. I love you so much but this isn't going to work. I have asked you time and time again to stop and you always say you will and that you will change but you haven't. You just proved right here with Owen that you can't be faithful."

"Eli please doesn't. I love you! I'm sorry!" She was crying now.

"It's over. Don't talk to me anymore. We're done." I finished my sentence and walked out, away from the cameras and away from Julia. I got into my car and left; I was so mad but yet so relieved. I knew I had done the right thing it was just so hard to let go of something that had been so important in your life.

I drove home to an empty house and went upstairs to my room. I took off my shirt and fell limp onto my bed. As I was laying there I couldn't help but let my mind drift to Clare. From what I knew about her she seemed like everything I could ever want. She didn't seem wild and crazy or the type of person who would cheat on you. But am I sure that she is that good of a person? Do I deserve that? Something seems to be wrong with me if all Julia ever did was cheat on me. I don't deserve someone like Clare; I don't think I could treat her like she needs to be treated.

I got up and got my cell phone out of my pants pocket and decided that the twenty-four hour rule could be cut a little short. I searched thru my phone and found Clare's number. Texting seemed like the safer route for now.

"_Hey Blue Eyes. -Eli"_

I waited for a response and found myself really nervous.

"_Hey. I've been waiting. –Clare"_

I smiled to myself and knew that not only did I want to get to know this girl but I wanted her. I wanted her more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life. This year should be interesting.

Clare POV

"ALLI!" I screamed

Alli came running into my room wrapped in a towel and her hair with shampoo all in it.

"Oh my God Clare what's wrong!" She said worried.

"Eli finally sent me a text!"

"Seriously? That's why you screamed for me? I thought something was wrong!"

"Shut up! He finally text me Alli! Should I be flirty or just casual! I don't know what to do!" I said trying to figure out why I was so nervous. I was way in over my head.

"If you like him then be both Casual and flirty. Don't be too over the top. Just be you Clare he obviously likes you! Now can I please finish my shower?" she asked

I giggled and told her to go and finish up. I looked back at my phone and re-read the message to myself. Short, simple and sweet. Oh and apparently a new nick name; Blue Eyes? I love it! I then knew what I wanted to say and quickly typed back my response in hopes it wasn't to over the top.

"_Hey. I've been waiting. –Clare"_

"_Sorry to keep you waiting, just trying to keep you on your toes." _

"_Oh really? Ok well talk to you later." _I said while laughing

"_Wait! What? Don't go! :("_

"_Just kidding! I'm not going anywhere."_

"_Good. I had a really great time getting to know you last night. Hopefully there is more?"_

Oh please let there be more! "_Well there can be if you want there to be." _I sent back quickly.

"_Absolutely So I know you live across from Adam and since Degrassi isn't that far from your house can I walk you to school tomorrow?"_

I wanted to say yes so, so bad but I also wanted to keep him begging.

"_I'm not that Easy Eli. Meet me at school in front on the steps. Goodnight ;)"_

"_Ouch. I'll be there. Sweet Dreams Blue Eyes."_

I got out of bed, shut my light off and crawled back into bed. I looked out my window and thought of that amazing smirk and how I couldn't wait to see it directed towards me in the morning. I fell asleep smiling at how excited I got when I thought about him.

The next morning Alli came in my room screaming for me to get up. She was more excited than I was about starting school. I then realized that it was no longer school that I was excited about it was seeing Eli. We both took our showers, did our hair and makeup (mine more subtle than Alli's of course) and then we got dressed. That was more of a challenge than expected. We had gone shopping with Fiona, Jessica and Holly J the day before and got a whole new wardrobe to start out at Degrassi.

It took twice as long to pick put an outfit than I normally would, what is he doing to me! After we were finally finished getting ready we grabbed our bags and ran downstairs. We kissed Mom and Dad goodbye and off to school we were.

"Clare I am so excited are you?" Alli asked as we drove off towards school.

"Ya but I'm kind of more excited about something else." I smiled.

"Oh" she said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

When we arrived at school Drew was there in the parking lot waiting for Alli. She got out and hugged him and basically ignored me. We walked to the front of the school and I seen what I had been waiting for since last night. My heart started beating really fast at the thought of being near him all day and everyday at school; But then what I seen wasn't exactly what I pictured. We got closer to the front of the steps and I froze as I seen a short, long black haired girl get onto her tip toes and plant a long, intense and passionate kiss on Eli. My fast beating heart suddenly sank and fell short of any happy feelings.

**Sooo Did you like it, love it, hate it? I hope you liked it! you guys are amazing and I want to keep you hooked! REVIEW time :))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Thank you so much for continuing to read my story! For those of you who follow me on Twitter I said I wouldn't update until Friday but I couldn't wait! Also There was some confusion on the last chapter so I wanted to answer a few questions!**

**Munroloverx1**** –Isn't Degrassi on MuchMusic? Yes it is on MuchMusic but because I was making a play off of MTV's Laguna Beach I thought it would be funny if it was on CTV :)**

**xCuckooBananas- It was kinda weird that Alli took a shower the night and then in the morning again?- You know I didn't even realize I did that! Oops! But if anything its Alli and she's prissy anyways LOL :p**

**I would also like to thank DegrassiCat for following me on twitter and loving my story so much! She also helped me with a lead for this chapter so thank you once again! OK so time to read! I really love this chapter and hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :) **

The short black haired girl turned slightly and I got a glance at who she was. Julia; his long time girlfriend and personally I think she's a real hoe bag! Why was he kissing her! After all the flirting and getting to know me bull crap he still has a girlfriend? Eli looked uncomfortable and calmly said something to her. I couldn't hear what he said but she looked surprised. Eli turned away from her and that's when he noticed me standing there dumbfounded. I can't figure out if I have a reason to be angry with him or not. It's not like he is my boyfriend or anything but if felt like maybe that was where it was leading. I feel like I was led-on and I don't like that feeling.

"Clare no, that wasn't what you think." Eli said walking up to me. He then turned to Drew and Alli and gave them the look that meant "Get the hell out of here."

"Clare I'll see you in class." Alli said walking off with Drew.

"Clare I'm sorry." Eli said turning back to me

"So it's not what I think?" I paused when he shook his head. "Oh goodie because what I was thinking was that you are a pathetic jerk who likes to play good boyfriend with one girl and then lead another girl on. But since you said it's not what I think then no worries" I said super sarcastically while I started walking around him and into the school.

"Clare please; seriously, it's not like that. I broke up with Julia yesterday and she thinks I was just pissed and blowing off steam. I just told her to stop and that it really is over." He said in his defense.

"That looked like a hard break up. She seemed real upset about it." Why was I doing this?

"I'm sorry. Honestly! I don't want anything to do with her. She's a slut. Besides I have my eyes looking somewhere else. Please don't be mad." He pleaded

"Me? Mad? Oh no don't worry I'm not mad!" I said smiling but making it clear that I was irritated. "I'm fine. Anyways, It's my first day and I really don't want to be late so see you later."

"Wait, I thought I could maybe walk you to class."

"Thanks but no. Bye Eli." I said with a small smile.

I had decided that if he really was worth it and really wanted to get to know me more than I was going to make him work for it. For the first time I felt like I was slowly changing and coming out of my shell. Saint Clare was no longer here, now it was the Clare who was actually trying to make reality TV star and sexy teen sensation Elijah Goldsworthy work for what he wanted. I just pray he really wants me to or else this was going to be difficult.

Eli POV

I watched as she walked up the steps and into school. I felt horrible for her having seen that. I didn't want Julia to kiss me, hell I didn't want her near me. She only ever caused hurt and pain. She just pranced her happy ass up to me and planted one on me. I didn't expect it but I told her we were done and to leave me the Hell alone. I think she finally got the message, but now I think Clare was pissed. She should be! It looked as if I had led her on and I didn't! Clare was something special and the kind of girl that I would do anything for. She was different; she was the exact opposite of me but I loved that. I didn't even really know her but felt like somehow she was mine and I didn't want to disappoint her or cause her anything but happiness.

I can't tell what she is thinking and its driving me nuts! She said she wasn't mad but it kind of seemed like there was a hidden message somewhere. Why are girls so difficult! I need to find out what she is thinking.

So I grabbed my phone as I walked to my first class and sent her a text.

"_I_ _really am sorry. I didn't want her to kiss me. Forgive me_?"

I set my phone on my desk as the teacher walked in. Class started and finished and yet no reply from her! God she must be mad.

As I walked to my next class I saw Clare walk into the same one. This was my chance so I ran in and found where she was sitting and sat down right next to her.

"So are you ignoring me now?" I asked with a sly smile

"I don't know are you stalking me now?" She asked in return.

I turned to her with a confused look on my face

"Eli, really its fine. I'm not mad."

"It sure doesn't look like it. Can I make it up to you? Can I take you on a date?" I asked sweetly

"Hmm, I'm pretty busy you know with starting a new school and all. Not to mention that my sister and I have auditions tomorrow to be on the schools show so sorry no" she replied sarcastically. I am going to have to beg aren't I? She is playing hard to get.

"Clare I don't get it. You say you're not mad but you're acting like you don't ever want to see me. Is it enough for me to say that I like you and I want to spend time with you, Blue eyes?" I saw something in her facials change. She turned towards me and her face had softened. I did it! I made her crack! It was just a matter of time until she wants me to.

"That's very sweet of you Eli but the thing is I'm not that easy. Sorry" She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the English teacher who was now starting her lecture.

I knew it was too good to be true! I need to do something and something good but I have no idea what. I needed help. So I sent a quick text to someone I knew I could trust with anything.

"_Adam, she's making me beg what do I do?"_

Clare POV

"Clare how long are going to make him try so hard?" Alli asked as we sat down in the courtyard for lunch.

"I don't know maybe another day or so. Believe me it's not that easy. He is so freaking sexy and its driving me insane but I was so angry when I seen Julia kiss him."

"But even Adam said that he truly had broken up with her and that she's just a major psycho!"

"I know and I believe him. I guess I am just having some fun. I didn't move here to jump into a relationship unlike some people" I eyed her and she put her hands up in defense and then just laughed at me.

"Hey ladies" Drew said while kissing Alli on the cheek.

"Hey" I said nicely. I really did like Drew. He was a good guy and treated Alli like a queen.

"Clare I have to say I don't know how you are doing it but you are driving Eli insane." Adam said when he sat down next to me at our table.

"Oh really?" I said with a big goofy grin plastered on my face.

"Yes! He has been asking me all morning what he is doing wrong and if you like him. You do like him right?"

I shrugged my shoulders trying to play it off but Alli thought she could butt in. "Of course she likes him!" I kicked Alli under the table.

"Good because he's walking over here right now."

I turned to see a very anxious looking Eli. He had a single red rose in his hand and a gorgeous smirk on his face.

"Clare." he stated as a hello.

"Eli" I retorted

"I honestly feel bad about you thinkins that I led you on. That was never my intention. I want to ask you again; can I please take you on date?" he asked me while putting his hand in front of him trying to hand me the rose.

I looked up at him and with the sweetest of smiles I took the flower and stood up. "Thank you so much. The rose is beautiful."

"So is that a yes?"

I looked at him from underneath my eye lashes and said "Sorry Goldsworthy but I told you I'm not that easy." and with that I walked away smiling at the look on his face. It was a look of pure astonishment. I had to admit that although this was fun playing hard to get it was also very difficult. I just wanted to melt under his gaze but I have been hurt in my life enough to know that if someone truly cares they will do anything and everything for you.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. I finished with all my classes and met some great new people. I was really getting the hang of Degrassi and so was Alli. By the end of the day I met up with Alli to go home but on our way to the car I noticed some one standing beside it. With that handsome smirk on his face Eli looked at me and I thought I was going to faint at how gorgeous he was. It was like every time I seen him it kept getting better.

"So I was thinking. If you won't let me take you on a date then can I at least walk you home? It will take ten minutes of your time. I just want to talk to you. Please?" Eli asked me and I knew I couldn't resist.

"Ok fine but just a walk home. None of your fancy handing out rose's thing you pulled earlier."

"Deal!" He said smiling so wide I thought he was going to burst.

I waved bye to Alli who was also grinning from ear to ear. She was way to obvious with what she was hoping would happen.

We started walking in the direction of my house. It was a gorgeous day outside. The leaves were turning colors and the slight breeze was making them shake in the trees as if they were dancing. I turned to a very happy Eli and couldn't help but smile.

"Ok so you want to talk? About what?"

"Everything; I want to know what goes on in that beautiful little head of yours."

"Beautiful?" I asked shyly "You must be on something" I laughed

"Hmm last time I checked I wasn't." he chuckled "Clare if I'm being honest with you, I think your gorgeous and sexy as hell." Oh my God did he just say that? My cheeks felt hot.

"And you're really cute when you blush like that too." Oops he caught me. I giggled and looked away.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"Clare, I really feel like I need to be honest with you. I don't know why but I feel like I owe it to you. I have known you for like three days and I already like you so much. You drive me crazy but in a good way. Is that weird?"

Was he kidding? Hell No it wasn't wierd! "No it's not weird I think it's sweet." I smiled

"Ok good. Look I'm so sorry about this morning. Julia and I are definitely not together. I broke up with her last night. I have broken up with her before but we always got back together and she thought this was another one of those times. But it wasn't."

"Am I the reason you broke up with her? I don't want to be." I said honestly

"No, she had it coming. You were just an added bonus." He laughed. "I just don't want you thinking I'm some kind of creep because I have known you for three days and am trying to win you over."

"I don't think that, it's just exactly what I told you. I'm not that easy. If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a very reserved person. I don't rush things; so don't take it personal."

"Do you like me at all?" He was being sneaky but I wasn't going to let him win that easily so I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"See you are so confusing!"

"But you keep coming back though don't you?" I paused and he nodded. "Only time will tell."

We were arriving at my house and he walked me to my door.

"Time huh? How about this, by the end of the week you will say yes. By Friday I will make you fall for me."

I arched my eyebrows curiously. "And just how to you do you plan on doing that?"

"Oh but you see that is a secret." He walked a little closer to me and my heart started beating really fast. He then placed a small and tender kiss on my cheek and said "Have a good night my Blue eyes. I will keep trying until I have you in my arms." With that he walked back the direction we just came from and I stood there silently at my front door to shocked to move.

I eventually got a hold of myself and went inside. Alli of course was waiting for every detail and I had to spill every detail. She was so nosy at times but I loved her.

The rest of the week went by really fast. Alli and I had our auditions on Tuesday with the producers of the show and since our new friends were starring members of all of it, it looked like we were a shoe in. The cameras had started following me around which was kind of weird but cool at the same time.

As far as Eli was concerned in his "You're going to fall for me thing"; Every morning until Friday I would walk up to my locker and a single red rose would be attached to it with a note that asked me out on a date and every day I kept saying No. It was more of a game now than really playing hard to get and he knew this. He would just laugh when I would say No and then tell me that Friday wasn't here yet.

When Friday morning came I expected to walk in a find the same thing on my locker but I didn't. It was just a plain Orange ugly locker. I opened it up half expecting a note to fall out but there was nothing. It was strange realizing that I was really disappointed in this. I went to my first class, sat down, and got my cell phone out to text Eli.

"_Did you finally decide to give up :p_?" but I never got a reply. This was strange.

When my first class ended I was anxious to get to my second period English class to see if he was there. I expected him not to be there but when I walked in he was sitting in his seat right next to mine. I walked in and sat down and he didn't look at me or speak to me at all.

"Eli, are you ok?"

"Yep" was all I got out of the him.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Nope."

Was he seriously doing this? I racked my brain to think of anything I did wrong. I couldn't think of anything except that he probably grew tired of this game and was into someone else. Why had I been so stupid? He seemed fine this week; like he was enjoying the challenge. Oh no, what if I truly lost him? I was really starting to like him. He was so sweet and caring. Every night before I would go to bed I would get a text message from him saying "Goodnight, Blue Eyes. I can't wait for Friday when I will finally have you." I thought it was cute and just let him play with it. But now it was truly over. He had lost interest and it was all because I had to get pissed that Julia had kissed him and then play hard to get. Way to go Clare!

He ignored me throughout the rest of English class and I didn't see him anymore. When lunch came I was so pissed that he didn't even have the decency to tell me straight up that he had lost interest. A warning would have been nice.

"Clare, are you ok? You seem really tense." Alli asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little mad is all."

"Why? Is it because you didn't get a rose today?"

"Not just that but Eli has been ignoring me all day. He wouldn't talk to me at all during English or answer any of my texts! He is acting really mad at me. I think I blew it Alli. He doesn't want anything to do with me." I said as I rested my head down on my arms.

"Are you sure? Because from where I'm sitting it sure doesn't look that way." She said

I looked at her in confusion and as I did I started hearing music. It was a beautiful melody that was carefully written and being played with a guitar. I noticed everyone had stopped what they were doing and were facing the direction behind me. I slowly turned around and my mouth dropped.

I then noticed what everyone else was staring at. I saw Eli with a guitar strapped around him at the top of the steps in the school lunch courtyard. Cameras were all around him trying to catch the moment but he just ignored them. He was focused on playing this beautiful and delicate music. He was staring right at me as he was slowly making his way towards me. Everyone was silent and all eyes were on him. He then did something I would have never expected in my life. He started singing. Not just singing to himself or just some random person; he was singing to me. With the most deep, husky, sexy and angelic voice I have ever heard. It put anyone with a record deal to shame. But it wasn't the voice that made my eyes start to flood with tears. It was the words that he was singing for me.

"_Your beautiful eyes, stare right into my eyes. And sometimes, I think of you late at night, I don't know why._

_I want to be somewhere where you are. I want to be where,"_

"_You're here your eyes are looking into mine so baby, make me fly .My heart has never felt this way before. I'm looking through your, I'm looking through your eyes. _

"_I wake up, I'm alive in only a little while I'll cry, 'cause you're my lullaby. So baby come hold me tight, 'Cause I; I want to be everything you need, I want to be where."_

"_You're here your eyes are looking into mine, so baby make me fly. My heart has never felt this way before; I'm looking through your, I'm looking through your eyes."_

"_Just as long as your mine I'll be your everything tonight. _

_Let me love you, kiss you, baby let me miss you. Let me dream about, dream about, dream about your eyes."_

"_Eyes, Eyes, your Beautiful Eyes."_

By the time he had finished I was standing up with tears in my eyes and staring straight into his. We were only inches apart.

He smiled and looked and gazed at me. "Clare, will you let me look into your Beautiful Eyes and know every day that you are mine? Will you let me have you?"

I knew right when he started singing and when he just asked me this that my life would never be the same. That I was going to someday fall madly and deeply in love with him; and I knew I was ready for that.

"Yes." Was all I could say but that was all he needed. He then cupped my face into his hands and leaned down and placed the most gentle and sweet but yet passionate kiss on my lips. In that moment Eli had won, he had been right; by Friday I had fallen for Elijah Goldsworthy.

**Yay!They are finally together! So now it's time to tell me what you think! Review time! :) BTW I didn't write that song! It's by Taylor Swift! Love her!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi characters or plots nor do I own "Beautiful Eyes". I own only my story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! It's time for chapter 5! I'm so glad that you all loved the last chapter. I was listing to that song by Taylor Swift while I was driving home and it sounded like something the Eli in my story would do! I really like this chapter as well. It's going to set a tone for Eli and Clare's relationship. I hope you all love it and thank you so much for sticking with my story! It warms my heart to know that you all like it! Enjoy chapter 5! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi characters or any of its plots. I own only my story.**

Clare POV

Standing here in the courtyard I was barley aware of my surroundings. The moment Eli brushed his soft lips on mine everything else was gone. It was just me and him standing somewhere alone. I vaguely remember cheering and clapping in the back ground. Maybe that was just Alli being hyper and obnoxious. I can't tell you how long we kissed or even how we kissed. I was so caught up in the fact that I was just serenaded by Eli and now he was cradling my face in the palms of his hands; holding me just enough to bring my lips to his but so carefully it was as if I was fine china that could break.

All too soon he broke away and put his forehead to mine and whispered.

"That is what I have been waiting for all week." He smirked

I smiled at him and he wrapped his arms around me in the most comfortable hug. I could stay here forever. Part of my brain was yelling at me telling me to stop because I have only know him for a week; but the other half told me to just let my guard down and be with him. Whichever side allowed me to be with Eli is the side I like the best.

"Come with me. "He said quietly as he started leading me out of the courtyard.

"Where are we going?"

He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Leaning down to whisper in my ear he said, "Somewhere quiet with just me and you with no cameras or Alli." I laughed at the smug look on his face and just let him escort me out of the school and into his car or I mean his hearse.

He opened the door for me and when he got in we sped off.

"Eli this is still my first week at this school and I'm sure skipping is not ok." I said eyeing him.

"This school has a really peppy blonde pregnant cheerleader on a reality show, I'm sure you skipping out on school for the rest of the day won't even matter."

I giggled "Ok but just this once."

He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his face and gently placed a kiss on the top. I blushed slightly and switched my gaze from his eyes to out my passenger side window. We were driving out of the city and I was curious to see where he would be taking me.

When he finally parked the hearse and came to open my door I stepped out and noticed we were at a River on the outside of town. It was a very large and majestic river with bridges, walk ways and docks surrounding it so that you may get a better look.

Eli grasped my hand in his and led me to the dock. As we walked I noticed that he couldn't stop staring at me and I of course couldn't stop blushing. It made me nervous because I wasn't sure of myself and didn't know if I deserved him.

We stopped when we reached the edge of the dock and just leaned on the rails to look at the flowing river.

"Are we taking this too fast?" I asked abruptly getting confusion on his face.

"Do you think we are?" he replied

"I'm not sure. I mean don't get me wrong I like you; A lot. I'm just scared that maybe you don't know me enough and when you eventually do get to know all of me you… wont like me anymore."

He turned towards me and pushed some of my curls behind my ear while softly brushing me cheek.

"That's not going to happen. We have spent the past week flirting and talking in English class. I have no idea what we are even discussing in that class and honestly I couldn't care less." He smiled." I may not know everything about you or your life but from what I have learned of you this past week only intrigues me more."

He paused for only a moment to lift my face so I was looking at him. "Clare you are absolutely beautiful, funny and amazingly strong willed. You don't care what everyone else thinks; you just live life the way you want to. I adore that about you. I want to know everything about you but nothing you tell me will change my mind about how I feel about you or make me not want you."

For some reason this time I wasn't blushing. Even though all those incredibly sweet things he just said should have had me changing ten different colors of red I didn't; it was because if felt right. Right that I was here with him and we were about to embark on a journey together.

I brought my self closer to him and lifted my face to press my lips against his. It started as just peck on the lips but progressed into something intense. I felt myself loosen up and not be so uptight. His lips against mine felt normal. I didn't get the first time make out jitters either; it felt natural. As our kissing deepened I felt his tongue graze across my bottom lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we continued this sweet moment. At the moment I thought he was going to ask entrance into my mouth he pulled away leaving me breathless of the moment we just shared.

He turned his head and brushed his lips onto my right arm that was still wrapped around his neck. He took my arms away from him and found my hands and tied our fingers together. He then brought my left hand to his lips and started giving me sweet innocent kisses, only to pause when his lips met the ring on my wedding finger.

"What's this for?" he asked as he looked at the ring on my finger. "True love waits?" he pondered of the words inscribed onto the silver ring.

"It's um, my purity ring." I said trying to pull my hand back. He was going to think I was a freak Christian because I had one of these and was saving myself. I was getting embarrassed when he wouldn't let me have my hand back.

"Purity ring meaning you won't have sex until you're married?" he asked

I nodded my head and started blushing. "Don't be embarrassed Clare. You have morals and values, that's not something to be ashamed of."

"I know it's just, most girls don't wait."

"Yeah but you are not most girls." He smirked "Can I ask if this ring is still in effect?"

"As in am I still a virgin?" I cannot believe we are having this conversation. "Yeah, I am." I said with my head down, but he didn't let it stay there for long. I felt a warm hand bring my face back up to look at his.

"Good."

"So you don't think I'm extremely weird and hate me because I won't have sex with you?"

"No of course not and I would never ask you to change that for me. That is why I like you so much Clare. You are different from every other girl I know. It's refreshing and amazing." He laughed.

I wanted to laugh with him but I needed to tell him something that I hope he would take seriously.

"Please don't hurt me."

"What?" he asked me with a pained look on his face.

"I really like you a lot Eli and that scares me. Please don't ever hurt me, because I'm not so sure I could take it."

"I would never do that to you, I swear." He said pulling me into a hug.

"Ok, but can you promise me one thing?"

"Anything"

"Don't ever tell me you love me unless you mean it."

"Ok Clare, I promise."

Eli POV

I can't believe she is mine. This beautiful girl sitting across from me on the dock was actually mine. I was so lucky to have her; she was already so special to me and I wanted to protect her and just be with her. She made me feel something new inside, a spark that had died a long time ago.

I would never admit this to her but when she told me she was scared of liking me so much I felt as though I could relate to this. I had been hurt countless times by Julia and the fact that I put myself out there to just get Clare into my arms terrified me. I didn't believe that she would hurt me or cheat on me but it was still scary to open myself up again to someone new.

As I watched her talk to me about her life and her family I couldn't help but think about how breath-taking she is. She sends waves of pleasure through my body just looking at her. I wanted this girl to be as close to me as physically possible but I knew that wasn't going to happen. She has a purity ring and a vow that she sticks to. Although I myself am not a virgin I respected her choice. I thought she would be a little upset that I wasn't but when the topic came up in this 3 hour long chat we have been having she didn't seem surprised that I wasn't; she said that most people weren't. I found it interesting that she remained a virgin but I also loved it. The thought of someone else touching her in inappropriate ways angered me.

As the sun slowly started to fade and the darkness came, I decided it was time I get her home. I helped her into the car and started driving her to her house.

When we got to her house I walked her to her door and kissed her a goodnight kiss.

"Can I finally out on a date? Tomorrow night?"

"Eli how many times do I have to tell you No!" she laughed

"Pretty please, Blue Eyes or am I going to have to sing to you again?"

"That might not be so bad. You are an incredible singer, but ok fine you can take me out on a date."

"Yes! It's about damn time!" I yelled

She started giggling "Shh, my dad will hear you and that's not a good first impression."

"Oh okay my bad. I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Blue Eyes."

And with that I swiftly kissed her on the cheek, jumped into my car and drove home.

I was smiling like an idiot when I walked into the house and didn't even notice that the TV crew was here nor did I notice who or should I say _what_ was sitting in my living room with my parents.

"Eli, you have a visitor." My mom said

"No we have a whore in our house." I sarcastically said back

"Elijah!" my dad spoke up now "What is the matter with you?"

"What are you doing here Julia? Don't you have some other boyfriend to cheat on?"

"Eli, please." She whimpered. As much as I hate her she still got to me. She knew my buttons and seeing a girl sad or cry makes me feel horrible.

"I'm sorry for what I did. Truly I am. I love you and just want you to forgive me."

"Fine whatever I forgive you now will you get the hell out of my house?"

"Stop that right now, Eli!" My mom yelled as she wrapped her arm around a now sobbing Julia.

"Mom just stay out of it!"

"Can we talk outside?" Julia asked me

I nodded and walked outside with her trailing behind me along with the camera guy. Julia loved drama and she wouldn't pass up this opportunity.

"Let's get this over with Jules, I'm tired."

"I want you back. I know I treated you like shit and I cheated on you. I'm admitting it now but Eli I can't live without you. I miss you and I can't stop thinking about you. Can we please just start new and be together. For forever, like you promised?"

"No Julia you blew it. You lost your chance to a forever with me when you cheated on me. It's not something I can just forget about anymore. You need to move on now; I have."

"What do you mean you have moved on?" she said sadly "It's only been a week!"

"I have found someone better! A smart, gorgeous girl who would never do all the shit you did to me!"

"You are already dating someone else! But we just broke up! How can you be over it so fast?"

"I was over it just as quick as the second it took you to decide to have sex with K.C., Drew and now probably Owen!" I screamed at her "So don't act innocent here! You are the one who did this and now you're pissed because I am with Clare and I'm happy!"

"Wait, Clare? Like the girl who just moved here? Are you kidding yourself! She is nothing compared to me!"

"Exactly, she is nothing compared to you because comparing her to you would make her a whore." I had to calm down before I did something stupid. "Get off my property and don't come back. Don't talk to me, Clare or any of my friends. It's over and we are done!"

"We aren't done Elijah you just wait and see." She said with a smug smile on her face while slowly backing herself towards her car. "Clare won't be here for long and you will come crawling back to me just like you always do."

I just stared at her as she got into her car and drove away. How can someone be so stupid? Julia is a sick twisted person who I hope to never have to see again.

I won't let her come between me and Clare; I can't.

I walked back into my house slamming the door to the camera man and ignored my parents yelling at me because I had been rude. That wasn't rude! She deserved it and deserves a lot more!

I went into my bedroom sat down on my bed and sighed.

Was I doing the right thing? Being with Clare? I really like her a lot but we are so different from each other. Not just in personality but in looks as well. I wear mostly all black and have skull rings on my fingers, where as Clare was a bright colored flowery urban look kind of girl. I am a quiet person except for around my friends and her. I can be really witty, sarcastic and quite frankly a smart ass. Clare is a reserved, calm, sweet but yet bubbly girl. Was the difference to much?

She also believed in God and I didn't. I don't believe in all the Jesus is coming back stuff; it's just too weird for me. She is also a virgin and is not going to let me swipe her V-Card any time soon; even though I respect that it's still hard not having that eventually be a part of our relationship. But I won't let it bother me because I don't want to lose her.

When she told me not to ever tell her I loved her until I meant it I was really caught off guard but as she said this she tensed up which led me to believe that someone before me had hurt her. I won't hurt her but I also don't plan on telling her "I love you" anytime soon. I didn't even tell Jules that I loved her until our 3 year anniversary. I don't believe you can just out of nowhere love someone. It takes time and development of a relationship to love someone.

I'm not even sure if we are technically in a relationship since we just started dating today.

"You are over thinking this Eli, just go with the flow." I muttered to myself.

I can't think about all the bad stuff. I just need to focus on having a good time with Clare and planning a damn good date for tomorrow; our first actual date. I'm more excited about this first date than anything. She deserves to be treated like a queen and that's exactly what I intend to do.

Clare POV

Things with Eli have been going amazing. It's been 2 months since we started dating and I couldn't be happier. Every day with him was like the first day all over again. He made me happier than I ever thought possible.

I could see in his eyes that he wanted to make me happy and he did just that. Eli was the sweetest person I have ever met.

On our first date which was the next day after he serenaded me at school (that still makes me blush) he came and picked me up and blindfolded me.

_"You can't see where we are going_" he said happily.

"_But that's not fair!"_ I protested

_"Quit your whining Edwards you're going to love it."_

And I did love it. When he had finally taken the blindfold off we were at a beautiful lake that you couldn't see the end to. The sun was gleaming off the crystal clear blue water and a slight breeze in the wind. There was a row boat and he grabbed my hand and sat me down inside. He then to got in and started rowing away from the shore.

_"Have you been studying "The Notebook" or something?"_ I laughed

_"You said that was your favorite me so I had to watch it!"_ he said smirking

I just laughed at him and let him have his fun. He then took us out into the middle of the lake to a very small island away from everything else; it was no bigger than small parking lot. He pulled the boat to shore and helped me out and blindfolding me once more.

"_Are you planning on killing me and leaving out here so no one can find me?"_ I asked laughing

"_Yes my lady that is exactly my plan."_ He chuckled and started leading me somewhere.

When he took off the blindfold for a second time I gasped at what I saw. We were on the other side of the small Island and were by these big beautiful rocks that had water splashing on them. There was one really tall and flat rock that was tall enough that the water didn't touch the top and sitting on the top of this rock was a picnic laid out for two.

"Eli it's incredible! Thank you!" I said reaching up to kiss him

"So you like it?"

"I love it! You didn't have to put this much into it!"

"You are worth it Clare and much, much more." he said to me sweetly.

I placed another kiss on his lips and smiled.

He led me over to the tall rock to sit down and I couldn't help but laugh at what I saw. I saw three of my favorite foods right before me. He had really gone out of his way to spoil me.

"You put so much effort into this! It's like you like me or something?" I said sarcastically.

"Just a little" he smiled

We continued talking and laughing while eating strawberries, bananas and pretzels dipped in chocolate. There might have been a few stolen kisses here and there to but it was all so sweet.

We have been on many dates since then and every time each one gets better. He was perfect.

"Hey, are you still in there?" Eli asked while tapping me on the shoulder and breaking me out of my trance

"Oh, sorry!" I said gathering all my things when I realized the bell had rung and English was over. I have no clue what the teacher talked about.

"Babe, are you ok?" Eli asked me

"Yeah I'm fine I was thinking about us."

He stopped abruptly and turned to me with the saddest look on his face and my breath caught when I realized what I said.

"Oh my gosh no Eli not that! I'm sorry, no I was just thinking about our first date is all!" I quickly kissed him and his face softened.

"Ok. You really scared me. As long as everything is ok with us?" he said

"Everything is perfect." I said smiling up at him.

"Good. I can't lose you so please don't scare me like that again"

"Ok I'm sorry."

We then parted ways and went to our separate classes. The rest of the day went by quickly which I was thankful; it was Friday and I was ready for the weekend.

As the night came Alli and I had planned a special girls evening much to Drew and Eli's dismay. We tried to get Eli and Drew to hang out while we had our girl's night but they said no. For some reason which we have been unable to figure out they don't like each other very much. They don't say anything to one another at school; we kind of just let it go and didn't ask questions.

"Clare are you excited I can't believe this!" Alli said

"I know it's insane! We are about to be on TV!"

Tonight was the premiere of season 3 of Degrassi. Since Degrassi had become Canada's number one show they switched our show time to Friday night because that was the most watched television night. Tonight was also the debut of Alli and I on the show.

"Ok so recap, Last season finale showed Eli talking to Fitz and Adam about breaking up with Julia, K.C. Finding out Jenna is pregnant and Fiona and Adam talking about a possible I like you and you like me situation there right?" Alli asked

"Yes I think that's all. Oh it's starting!"

The show came across the screen recapping season 2 and then the theme song came on we watched Sav and Holly J being the first two on the screen and then we both screamed when I came across the TV next followed by a very smug looking Eli.

"Ahhh! Oh my God that is so cool! I hope all our friends back home are watching!"

Alli was the last one to come on the screen and showed her taking a picture of the screen and then laughing as she turned around and walked towards the school with the Words Degrassi: The real Toronto coming off the back of her jean jacket.

It was weird seeing us on TV but also really awesome. The show started out with a scene between Eli and Julia that I didn't know anything about except for he was breaking up with her and using harsh language.

"I almost feel bad for her." I said looking at Alli who was on the floor now closer to the TV in our living room.

"Don't, she deserved it! Did you not just see her with Owen?" She said not taking her eyes off the show.

"That's true. You get her Eli!" We both laughed and continued watching the show.

After it showed him dumping her sorry ass (yeah Eli's bad language has rubbed off on me) we started to see the beginning of mine and Eli's relationship and seeing Alli and Drew constantly flirting. It then Showed him leaving me a rose on my locker, him asking me out and then of course me saying no. It was really funny to watch. As the show came to an end we got to see Eli playing that song for me. It was all incredibly sweet.

When the previews for next week started showing both Alli and I were stunned at what we heard.

"_You are already dating someone else! But we just broke up! How can you be over it so fast_?" Julia yelled at Eli

His response was not something we expected especially not Alli.

"_I was over it just as quick as the second it took you to decide to have sex with K.C., Drew and now probably Owen!" _

I looked down at Alli who now wore a very sad look. I got up and went to her and hugged her. The moment was cut short by a loud knock on the door. I ran to open it and Drew was standing in the door way.

"Where is Alli." he asked quickly

"Go away you asshole." Alli said from behind me.

"Alli please I am so sorry!"

"You lied to me! I asked you if anything had ever happened between you two because I noticed how you two acted with each other! You told me no and I believed you! You lied to me Drew! Why?" she screamed with tears rolling down her face and I was growing extremely uncomfortable. Drew pushed passed me into my house and so I went outside and sat on the swinging chair while Alli and Drew fought inside.

"Need some company?" I heard a voice say.

"Hey Adam. Sure I'd like that."

He came and sat down beside me and we swung in silence. I started thinking to myself while I played with the hem of my knee high fall red dress.

"Can I ask you a question?" I said

"Yea, go for it."

"What really happened with Eli and Julia?" I asked curiously. "Eli won't talk about her around me and I only see what's on TV." I said noticing how is facials changed.

"That's a tough subject." he paused. "Eli and Jules had been together for almost over 3 years and in that time she really used him."

"How?" I asked

"When Eli met Julia they hit it off really fast and began a relationship immediately. What Eli didn't know was that she was still dating her ex. Anyways, when he found out he just let it go because she cried and said she was sorry and Eli can't stand it when a girl cries." I nodded for him to continue.

"She kept cheating on him and he knew about it but he was head over heels for her. He broke up with her a few times but always went back to her. He was weak with and without her; so he thought it was better with her. But she tore him down. She made him buy her expensive clothes and take her out all the time and when we started the show she wasn't chosen for then cast so she made him tell her every time the cameras would be on him so she could get on the show. She's all about drama and herself." He finished.

"Ok well that makes since as to why he wouldn't like her but he actually hates her; but all that doesn't sound like something to hate someone for." I said.

"It's not. That was just minor stuff but the big bang happened earlier this year. And it's really something you should talk to Eli about." He said it so final that I knew I wouldn't get much out of him.

"Ok. Hey what ever happened between you and Fiona? You two were talking about dating and together all time. All of the sudden it all stopped." I asked.

His face grew sad as he look at me. "She found out who I really was."

"I don't understand." I said in response.

"Clare, I'm not who everyone thinks I am." He said as I continued to stare at him in confusion.

He looked at me for a long time seeming like he was trying to make a huge decision.

"I can trust you right? We have been best friends for a while so I need to know that I can count on you."

"Of course you can Adam." I said

"I'm a.." he paused. "I'm a Female to Male transgender. I was born as a girl, Gracie Torres but then became Adam, Drew's younger brother."

I looked at him and smiled. "Did you think you were going to scare me off?" he nodded "Adam you are one of my best friends and I accept you for who you are; and if you are Adam than I love it." He smiled and I asked "How long have you known?"

"I guess I have always known. I hated being a girl and when I was old enough to understand what was going on I became Adam. My mom hates me for it but Drew has always supported me."

"Does anyone else know?" I asked

"Eli and Fitz were the only other ones that knew since I have known them all my life as Gracie and then Adam. They accepted it and I became one of the "Dudes"." He laughed.

"And then Fiona found out." I said quietly.

"Yeah, she found out and it freaked her out a bit. She wasn't mean to me about it but she said she wanted to think about it." He said

"Well that can mean something great though. Maybe she will realize that true feelings matter more than anything else. I am close to Fiona and she never talks about her personal life much but I know that she has a good heart and will do what is best."

He nodded "Thanks Clare." He said standing up giving me a hug and then went home. Drew and Alli were still fighting inside so I slipped in really fast and got my purse. I went to my car and sent a quick message to Eli to meet met at the river dock.

It took 15 minutes to get there and when I arrived Eli was there smiling and waiting for me.

"Hey blue eyes I missed your beautiful face." he said while wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I missed you to. Girls night was kind of ruined because Drew and Alli are fighting."

"Again? What is it now?" he laughed

I looked down and said "That's actually why I asked you here. I want to talk to you about something."

"Ok." he said as we sat in our favorite spots on the dock overlooking the river.

"Eli I need you to completely honest with me ok?" he nodded and I continued. "What happened with Julia and Drew?"

His face hardened at the mention of the two names together and for a moment I thought he wasn't going to speak.

"One night when Julia and I were supposed to hang out she called me and said she couldn't leave her house. She said her mom told her she had to stay home. So I was going to surprise her and sneak into her room like I had done before. When I got to her house her mom wasn't even home so I used my key to go inside and surprise her. I went up to her room and I heard them." His face looked pained "Julia was cheating on me with one of my best friends, Drew." he looked out to the water "I haven't spoken to Drew since that day. I had barged into the room and beat the shit out of him and then dumped Julia"

"Eli I'm so sorry."

"Clare you have to understand that even though I like you and I am with you now I still had a relationship with Julia and I loved her. I gave her everything and she treated me like dirt. She broke my heart."

"Is that why you hate her so much?" I asked reaching for his hand and he flinched at my touch but didn't move away.

"No. I forgave her because I thought that I couldn't live without her. When I took her back she came to me one day crying and she told me that she was pregnant with" his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white. "She told me she was pregnant with Drew's baby. I went crazy but when I finally calmed down I told her I would take care of her and raise the baby with her. She agreed to keep it because we both decided abortion was out of the question." he looked at me and I could see tears forming in his deep green eyes.

"A week later she came to me and told me she couldn't do it and that she had an abortion. I was so hurt that she did that without me and lied to me. I couldn't stop thinking about it or fighting with her because I felt like she took something away from even if it wasn't truly my baby. All the fighting was ruining our relationship and that's why she cheated on me again."

"Eli it's not your fault for her mistakes of cheating on you." I said trying to be comforting.

"Yes it is! If I would have maybe paid more attention to her or been a better boyfriend at everything for her than she wouldn't have had to go find better somewhere else!" He was standing up now and he was shakings so bad I thought he was about to break.

"Eli do you regret breaking up with her and.. And."

"Going after you?" he turned to me and smirked "No I don't regret it at all. You make me strong and you make me happier than I ever was with Julia. She cheated on me more times than I can count. I was depressed all the time, And now I have lost one of my best friends and I want to beat the shit out of K.C. and Owen but that's not who I am Clare." he said looking at me.

"When I broke up with her for good it felt right and I was relieved to be free from the depression of always worrying if she was cheating and finally being free of all the lies." he wrapped his arms around my waist "When I met you my whole world stopped and turned the other direction. You changed my life and gave me back joy and happiness that I thought I had lost forever."

"I just want you to be happy Eli. I know you loved Julia but babe you have to let it all go so it doesn't eat at you anymore and take away time that you could be enjoying the other people around you. Like your family, friends and me. I know that words can never make you fully trust this but I promise I will never hurt you like that. I care too much about you."

He leaned down to kiss me on the lips and I gladly returned his kiss.

"Can I ask you a question now? You have to be honest with me to ok?" I nodded up at him.

"The first night we came here to the Docks and you asked me to never hurt you, why did you ask me that?"

"I told you it was because I liked you so much and I didn't think I could stand being hurt by you." I said

"Ok, I get that but it sounds like there is more to it than that. Did something happen to you?"

My whole body froze and I stepped away from him. Please God make him stop. I can't think about it or talk about it. I never even told my parents or Alli and I can't tell him.

"Clare, please. I can see it all over your face right now. Something happened and I just want to know what." He said trying to hug me but I backed farther away.

I shook my head at him as I started to cry. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from falling down and breaking apart.

"You don't have to tell me babe. I just want to be here for you is all." He said

"I know Eli but I can't. If I talk about it then I relive it and I can't I just can't!" I said yelling with tears rolling down my face. Despite that I had pulled away from him earlier he ran to me and grabbed me before I fell to my knees sobbing and he just held me. His arms so comforting around me that I knew that I could tell him but it was just so hard.

"Shh, Clare it's ok. Don't talk about it. I'm so sorry I asked you." He said while brushing his fingers through my hair.

We sat there on the docks and he just held me for what seemed like hours. When I finally stopped crying I found my voice and I wanted to finally let out what I had been keeping a secret.

"His name was Devin." I paused trying not to cry at the mention of his name. "We had dated for a year. I met him at church and we hit it off really well but he was a few years older than me. My parents didn't approve at first but they eventually were okay with it, so we started dating. He had all the same beliefs that I do. He believed in God and waiting until marriage to have sex. Everything was great until one night he asked me to come over to his house and have dinner with his parents. I told him yes; I loved his family and they loved me. When I got there his family was gone and he invited me in saying that they would be back in a few minutes. When I walked in and sat down on the couch I noticed he locked his front door with the dead bolt. It should have made an alarm in my head go off but I never believed he would hurt me." I could feel Eli's body tense up at this information knowing all too well that he knew what I was about to say.

"He then walked over to me on the couch and started kissing me and touching me." I started crying again. "I can still feel his hands all over me. Touching me in places I didn't want. I kept pushing him off of me and telling him no but he was much stronger than I was. He grabbed me by my arms and threw me down onto the couch. I slapped him and told him "No" and to "Get off of me" but he back handed me across the face and told me to "Shut the hell up"." I was shaking now and I turned to look at and now very angry Eli.

"He ripped off all of my clothes and he.. he raped me." I said for the first time out loud. "No matter how many times I screamed and cried for him to stop he wouldn't stop Eli. And the whole time he was doing this to me he kept saying he loved me and that it was ok. He had never told me he loved me before and that wasn't how I wanted to hear it for the first time."

"That's why you told me not to ever tell you I loved you unless I meant it."

I nodded my head and just sobbed uncontrollably.

"After he was finished I went home and cried all night. I couldn't believe that, that had happened to me. I was a good person who never did anything wrong so I couldn't understand why God had let that happen to me." I was getting angry as all the memories came back to me. "I went into my bathroom that night and I looked at myself in the mirror and seen every second of that night come flooding back to me. I took off my purity ring and threw it at the mirror with my fist and punched the mirror causing it to break. My hand was cut but it didn't hurt. It made me feel better."

Eli turned to me with big green eyes "Clare please don't tell me you-"

He stopped in the middle of his sentence when I started nodding my head yes. "It made it all go away Eli. I felt like after all night of not being able to control the situation around me that this was my opportunity to take that control back. So I grabbed a piece of glass and started cutting my arm."

"No baby." He said softly rubbing his finger across my cheek. "Can I see?" he asked me and though I didn't want to I pulled up the sleeve to my right arm and showed him my scars.

"It hurt at first but eventually it helped numb it all. Alli then came into the bathroom and screamed at what she saw. I begged her not to tell mom and dad and she didn't, but I never told her why and she never asked."

He looked up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen "Clare please don't ever do this to yourself again. It hurts me to look at your arm and see this." He pulled me into a hug "I am so sorry for what he did do you. You didn't deserve that but baby it wasn't your fault!"

"I felt like it was, just like you felt it was your fault for Julia cheating on you."

"I guess we both have stuff to move past huh?"

I nodded slowly. "How come you put you purity ring back on?" he asked me.

"I didn't at first. I was so angry and I believed that I wasn't a virgin anymore. But as time went on I started to realize that it wasn't my fault that he took advantage of me and it wasn't my choice. So I decided to put the ring back on and I still believe I have the choice to either remain pure or not to."

"Well in my eyes you are still pure." We sat there in silence just looking at each other.

"So now that you know all of me do you still want me?" I asked afraid of his answer.

"Clare I told you that nothing you tell me will ever change my mind about you, so yes I still want you. More than ever." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Clare, can I keep you?" Eli said breaking the silence.

I smiled and nodded my head.

"For as long as you would like."

"Forever?" he asked

"Forever." I promised as I kissed him softly on the lips.

**And that was Chapter 5! I hope you all liked it! Tell me what you think by REVIEWING! :) I love it when I get reviews lol! See you all next time for Chapter 6! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone! I apologize ten times over for the long wait on the update! I wasnt able to get my laptop working! UGH! But anyways Im sort of nervous for this chapter because its wel... you'll see! Please leave me a review at then end thats my favorite part and it brightens up my day! I do LOVE criticism also because it helps me get better at writting but I also LOVE it to be nice criticism lol! Thankyou so much for reading my story! On you go! :) Also if you have a twitter come on over and give me a follow! I follow back! TiaraF**

Clare POV

"No Eli, now drop it! We are NOT doing our book report on The "Greatness of Sex". I'm putting my foot down." I said for the millionth time;He had an amused look on his face.

"Putting your foot down? When did we get married? You're not the boss of me" He said trying to tickle me. We were sitting out on the grass in front of the school trying to work on an English project, Well at least I was trying to. Our English class had been cancelled and the book report was due Monday, not that he cared much.

"We definitely haven't gotten married because if that was the case then we would have already had mind blowing sex and you wouldn't feel the need to make it the topic of our English project!" He stared at me with eyes open wide.

"Mind blowing s..ex?" he stuttered.

I instantly turned red and regretted what I said. I had been thinking a lot about my beliefs and if I really still believed in them. I had always been raised to believe that you should never have sex until your married; and while I can see why that would be important I'm starting to feel like that rule doesn't necessarily apply to me. Simply because I don't want it to but also because it scares me to death about having sex. Plus, it embarrasses me to talk about it with Eli.

"Um, never mind. I'm sorry."

"Are you okay? You just kind of shocked me there. I didn't know you knew how to say the words mind blowing and sex put together." he teased

"Does it make you angry that I wont have sex with you?" I blurted. He looked at me in the most loving way.

"No Babe not at all. Does it suck? Hell yea it sucks but I don't need sex to stay with you and I don't want you to think that." he grasped my hand and stroked it softly. "All I want is you here with me and happy."I smiled gently at him. "Thank you. I am undeniably happy its that I... Uh just don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never disappoint me Clare." he said moving a strand of hair away from my face.

I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Get a room!" Fitz said walking up behind us to sit down.

"Shut up! You're just jealous." I said jokingly. Fitz and Adam both have become like brothers to me since they were Eli's best friends and they were always around.

"Don't challenge me Clare Bear I can take you!" he said while pushing me playfully.

"Bring it Fitzy! You don't scare me!"

He just laughed at our banter; Adam and Alli then walked over to us; It was now Free period and they could all join us.

"Hey guys!" Alli squealed giving me a hug which I returned."Hey Al's" "Hey dork" "Hey Hot stuff!" All the boys joked.

We were like one big family and I loved it. I knew that no matter what, I would always have this group of people to count on and Alli and I would never have to worry about being in danger with these boys being so protective of us. Its kind of funny!

"Ok so what's the plan for tonight? Its Friday and we need some fun!" Adam said asking all of us.

"Well our parents are leaving today to go back to our hometown to see some family. We could have a party?" I suggested.

All of them looked at me with eyes wide before they busted up laughing."What?" I asked looking at Eli.

"Nothing we are just shocked that you of all people just suggested to have a party." He said while pulling me to sit against him so he could wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck sweetly.

"Yea, You never do anything devious! I love it! But seriously its a great Idea!" Alli said smiling widely as Drew came up behind her and sat down not saying anything to anyone. It made me sad that it was so awkward between him and Eli. I am making it my mission to somehow get these two to be friends again.

"Lets do it!" Fitz said

"No beer or illegal stuff of any kind." I said sounding more like their mother.

"There is the Clare We know!" Adam joined in playfully.

"Well our parents should be leaving in-" Alli paused to check the time on her pink sparkly cell phone "20 minutes so if we want to do this right than we need to possibly skip the rest of the school day Clare."

"No way! You know I hate skipping." I said

"Pleeeease Clare! Eli help me out here!" She whined.

"Oh no you don't Alls! I'm just a bystander!" he chuckled "Although if you do want to make this thing good than she is right."

"I thought you would be on my side?" I giggled craning my neck to look into his amazing eyes. Every time I look into them I seem to get lost in a trance; only to have Fitz ruin it by talking:

"They're right Clare. I love you to death and your like a sister to me but I'm not going to waste my Friday night at some lame half assed party."

"Ok, ok fine! We can skip and throw us one Hell of a party!" I said smiling at all of their faces.

"My God Eli what have you done to my Saint Clare?" Alli laughed.

We all got up and I gave Eli a quick kiss goodbye and whispered in his ear.

"I know that a lot of things happened between you and Drew but he is Alli's boyfriend and a really sweet person. Do you think maybe you guys can talk?"

He turned his head to look me in the eye and mouthed the word no. I frowned but decided not to push it any farther. Later "Ok so the house is clean and we got all the food and stuff we need so what now?" I asked Alli

"We still got to set it all up and then get ready. I sent a text t everyone telling them to be here at 8. It 5 now so lets get started." As we were setting everything up I looked at Alli and was deciding if I could talk to her about something that has been on my mind. I knew I could trust Alli with my life but I was afraid of what she would think of me.

"Alli can I ask you a question." she nodded her head for me to continue.

"Why didn't you wait until you got married to have sex?"

"This isn't the fifties Clare." she laughed

"I'm serious." she shrugged and said "I just didn't want to. I know I was raised to wait but it was a personal choice that I made for myself. At first I didn't want to do it but as I started getting older I felt for me personally that it wasn't as big of a deal that everyone said it was."

"And when you did have sex was it a big deal?"

"Yeah the first time was but that's just because it was my first time, but it didn't seem like some sacred thing that should never be done until your married. I don't have sex with anyone and everyone Clare. If I am involved in a relationship with someone and care about them then that's just apart of the relationship. Just another way of showing them that I want to be with them and be intimate with them" she finished and I blushed as she did.

"Why? Are you thinking about having sex with Eli?" she asked genuinely wanting to know how I felt.

"Yes but I'm also really scared. I always thought you did that with someone you love; and we both know I don't throw that word around to everyone. I'm not sure I love Eli."

"You don't have to be in love Clare."

She walked over to the dining room where I was sitting at the head of the table and sat down to the right of me.

"You and Eli have something really special. You care tremendously for each other. I have never met to people more perfect for each other. It's like a Bella and Edward kind of thing." She teased me an I had to laugh.

"But what if it doesn't work out? What if I do have sex with him and then we break up. I would feel horrible and disgusting." I said starting to think of my worst fear: Life without Eli.

"But isn't he worth taking the risk?" she eyed me "If you truly care about him and want to be close to him in this way than go for it. But make sure you wanting this for the right reasons."

"And what would be the right reasons?"

"To want to be with Eli in this special way and not to erase past memories." I looked at her when she said this and I knew that somehow she knew about what happened with Devin.

"How did you know?" I asked feeling a lump form in the back of my throat.

"Clare you are my sister and my best friend. No one cuts their arm with glass for no reason. Also I know that you would never take off your purity ring unless you have had sex which in that case you would have told me about it. Put together the arm cutting, the no purity ring for weeks, no sign of Devin and then putting you ring back on a few months later; it wasn't hard for me to figure out Clare. I know and understand you better than you think I do."

I started crying and hugged Alli so close. Cherishing this moment with her and being so thankful that whoever was on my side that they had given me such a special gift: Alli.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Alli! I was angry and confused and I thought you would think less of me." I sobbed and shook my head as if I was trying to clear the memories.

"That would never happen Clare! It wasn't your fault!"

We sat like that for a while both of us crying and understanding the bond that we have.

After we finished our tear session we stood up laughing at each other and decided we needed to head upstairs to get ready for tonight.

"Just so you know I broke his nose for you." Alli stated when we walked into our bathroom.

"You what?"

"Did you think I was going to let that bastard get away with what he did and me not do anything about it? Hell No! I walked right up to him and decked him in the face." she smiled

"You always have had a good swing for as girly as you are. I feel bad for Drew!"

We laughed and continued to fix our hair and make up. When we finished we parted ways and I went to my bedroom to find something to wear. I knew that my talk with Alli had made my mind up. I am going to have sex with Eli. I'm not sure when it will be but I sure as hell was going to wear something amazing to give him something to think about.I searched through my closet throwing dress after dress around until I found the perfect one.

I had begged and begged my parents to get me this dress but they had always said no because it was to expensive and to slutty according to my mom. So I had to break down and use some of my savings money which I never use; and I had to do it without them knowing.

I never usually worry about High fashion like Alli does but for this dress Id kill for.

When I wear a dress its always something that is cute or a simple day dress, But tonight was different. I needed to look different; I wanted to do this not only for Eli but for myself.

The dress was a gorgeous Alice + Olivia strapless navy blue cocktail dress. It had Asymmetrically draped fabric of different layers. It flowed naturally over the tight under skirt that clung to my thighs and the dress flowed right above my knees.

"Oh. My. God Clare! You look incredible!" Alli said walking into my room.

"You don't think its to much?"

"No! Its perfect! Eli wont be able to keep his hands off of you!" I smiled as my plan was falling perfectly into place.

A pair of black pumps and a few loose sexy curls in my hair I was ready for the evening ahead.

Alli of course look gorgeous to. She had on a simple black cocktail dress that hung just off her shoulders and was flowing down to her thighs with a oversized red belt in the middle on her waist. We looked amazing. Our dresses were the type to look like you were going to an event or just ready to party.

"I think the boys are here!" Alli said when she heard the door bell ring.

We both made our way downstairs and Alli opened the door to let Adam, Fitz and Drew in.

"Holy shit is that you Clare?" Fitz said and Adam nodded in agreement.

"You like?" I said giving a quick spin. I laughed and hugged both of them.

"Where's Eli?" I asked and then heard a swift knock at the door.

Everyone made they're way outside to start some music and I went to open the door and I looked through the side window to find that it was the man of my dreams. He didn't notice me but I took a good look at him. He was so undeniably... Well Sexy! He had black skinny jeans, a white dress shirt un-tucked and a skinny black tie on. I loved his style and look; With his shaggy messy hair, skull rings on his fingers, thick wrist bracelets and at sometimes black nail polish which was the result of boredom during class and a sharpie. He was handsome, hot, sexy or whatever you want to call him. He is mine.

I opened the door and when he lifted that beautiful face to look at me he gasped as his eyes lit up.

Eli POV

My eyes went wide and I gasped when she opened the door. Clare has always been beautiful to me but tonight was different. Tonight I looked at her and my Clare was sexy.

At first I couldn't find the words to speak."Are you ok Eli?" she looked smirking at me like she was reading my mind.

"You look. Wow!" I ran my left hand through my hair nervously. Why was I nervous? This is Clare, my girlfriend; but yet I was freaking out!

"Do you want to come in?" She asked giggling.

"Yeah of course." I said walking past her.

She closed the door and I wrapped my arms around her, giving her a deep and passionate kiss.

"Please forgive me but Holy Hell you look extremely sexy! Its taking all I have not to sweep you away right now and have my way with you." I said while kissing her on the neck and then lightly nipping at her ear.

She secluded a soft moan which only made it worse for me. I moved my lips to hers and kissed her intently. Brushing my tongue across her bottom lip; I bit her top lip pulling it back and then thrust my tongue into her mouth. Both of our tongues dancing and fighting for dominance.A heavy breathing Clare lightly pushed me back breaking away from the kiss when the doorbell rang.

"I'll be out back."

She nodded and I noticed a light blush on her cheeks. I smirked at the thought that only I could make her blush like that. I walked to the back yard seeing all of my friends.

"About time you showed up." Alli said.

I just laughed and grabbed a drink. I smelled alcohol; "Fitz you brought this didn't you?"

"Who me? You think I would do that?" he laughed and I joined in but set the cup down. Later I think everyone from school was in Clare's house. It was a great party; Clare was upset that there was beer here but she quickly let it go and decided to just have a good time.

I was standing against the back porch with my arms wrapped tightly around Clare. She and Alli were chatting and Drew stood right behind Alli looking uncomfortable.

Ever since Clare asked me to talk to Drew I couldn't get it off my mind. I still hated him for what he did but I also miss my best friend. I was torn; should I remain hating him or try and at least be civil?

"Drew can I talk to you for a second." I blurted before I could and Alli stopped talking and looked at me with eyes wide. Drew looked shocked to say the least which I could understand why.

"Um, yeah sure." he said shakily.

"Hey look Alli, Fiona and Jenna are here. Lets go say hi." Clare said giving me a big smile and a sweet kiss.

They walked off as Drew and I stood there uncomfortably. I decided it was now or never so I broke the silence.

"Look, I'm still seriously pissed as hell at what you did but I cant stand all this animosity I have towards you."

"Eli I know you will probably never believe me but I truly am sorry. I should have never been with Julia that night. I have regretted it ever since." he said sounding sincere.

"I know that it wasn't all you. I know how Julia can be but you back stabbed me. You were like a brother to me; I have known you since we were kids Dude and what you did was pretty shitty." I said surprised that I wasn't as angry as I thought I was. I seemed to have let some of that anger go.

"I know man, I know. All I can do is apologize and hope that you can someday forgive me." He said.

"Ok." I paused making a decision "I cant say that everything will go back to the way things were but-" I put out my hand "Friends?" He smiled really big and put his hand on mine as we did our special hand shake.

"You two are the biggest girls ever." Adam said walking over to us with Fitz following.

"Dude are you two back together yet?" Fitz asked

"Why you jealous?" I said smart assed.

"No just ready to have my crew back is all!" Fitz said.

"Its about time too!" Added Adam.

I rolled my eyes and left them to go find Clare. Ever since she opened that door and I seen just how hot she looked I couldn't keep her off my mind. Damn her stupid purity ring!

"Hey Al have you seen Clare?" I asked her when she was bringing out more drinks.

"Yeah she's inside. I think KC is with her."

"WHAT!" I yelled as Alli's eyes widened at the tone of my voice.

I ran inside and saw what I feared most. My girlfriend, my reason for living, my Clare was kissing KC. No, no, no!

"You Bitch" Was all I screamed as she pushed KC off. I ran outside hearing her call my name but I didn't listen, running to my car I jumped in and drove away.

"This cant be happening to me; Again!" I screamed and hit my steering wheel. I thought she was so different but she is just like Julia. A conniving cut throat bitch.

I felt tears roll down my face as I realized my heart had just been broke. I never cry but I also have never truly fallen in Love with someone as I know that I had with Clare Edwards. Love was not on my side. It was a bitch and hurt like hell.

Clare POV

"Clare lets go get in the hot tub!" Alli squealed

"Ok I just got to get my bikini." I said thinking how that really should get Eli all excited.

"Ok I'll be outside." she said turning around "Oh hey KC!" she said as she walked outside holding a tray of drinks.

He nodded at her and then walked over to me. I really didn't want to be talking to him because I knew that this would not make Eli happy and plus I didn't really like him.

"Hey Clare. The party is great. You look incredibly good." He said checking me out from head to toe which made me uncomfortable.

"Thanks" I mumbled trying to walk around him seeing as I had been leaning against the kitchen wall when talking to Alli.

He grabbed my arm lightly and pushed me back.

"Wait I need to tell you something." he said

"Ok what is it?"

"I like you Clare, a lot."

"Well thank you but I have a boyfriend."

"Who Emo boy? Who cares."

"I do. I'm in a relationship with him and he isn't to fond of you so... Bye." I said once again trying to walk around but failing.

I was starting to panic when he pushed me back to the wall once again this time using a tighter grip. I winced from the pain.

"Let me go." I said

"Oh come on Clare you cant possibly want Emo death boy out there when you could have me?"

"You are nothing compared to Eli. You are a sorry egotistical jock who doesn't know when to keep his dick in his pants." I spat at him.

"Now, now Clare its only fair since I stole Eli's girlfriend before you that I do it again." He said while pressing his hands against the wall on both sides of me and leaning his face down towards mine.

"Right?" he asked and then put his cold hard lips onto mine.

As I got my grip on his chest and pushed him off Eli stormed in at that moment and screamed "You Bitch." before running out my front door.

"Eli!" I screamed. I seen the hurt in his eyes and the pain on his face as he thought that I had wanted this with KC.

I tried to run towards him but KC grabbed me firmly and pushed me back up against he wall.

"Let me go!" I screamed.

"That was perfect little Saint Clare. Once again I win and Eli looses"He tried to kiss me again and I struggled to break free.

"Stop it! Get of me!" I was panicking at the words that came out of my mouth as a flood of memories came back to me.

"Hey you bastard get the hell off of her!" I heard Alli scream.

Man she was a fireball and I have no doubt in my mind that she could probably kick his ass! I was washed over with relief when I heard that spitfire squeaky voice.

He just huffed and said "Move along little Bitch your presence isn't needed here."

I seen Fitz, Adam and Drew behind her and I could tell Fitz and Adam were looking at protecting me and Drew was pissed that someone had talked to Alli like that. I saw Alli try to run forward to most likely kick KC's ass but Drew stopped her much to her dismay. Fitz all of the sudden grabbed the back of KC's shirt, Adam came to help and they both spun him around and pinned KC against the wall where I had stood until Drew grabbed me to push me over to Alli. Drew then turned and punched KC in the nose instantly breaking it and causing blood to go everywhere."Don't you dare talk to her like that! Get your sorry ass out of here." Drew yelled. KC just smirked at him "Someone's got to keep that crazy ass bitch in line!" He said back and then Drew punched him in the stomach.

Alli walked her high heeled self right over to him and pushed Drew over. Before he could say anything to her she kneed KC in the well.. Take a guess.

"Keep me in line my ass!" she yelled. "Just cause I wear high heels, fashionable dresses and hoop earrings doesn't stop me from slamming you balls up to your throat!" She smiled, patted him on the head and walked away from him while winking to me. She came and wrapped her arms around me.

They boys laughed and turned back to him.

Adam let go but Fitz didn't "If I ever see you near either one of those girls again I will personally find you, kill you and send you straight to hell! That is unless spitfire over there doesn't get to you first. Do you hear me?" He said throwing him to the ground and backing up to stand in front of me and Alli along with the other boys in a protective stance.

KC got up and walked away slamming the door on his way out. I hadn't noticed I had been crying until Fitz turned around and grabbed me into a bear hug. I sank into his big arms and just sobbed.

"Its ok Clare. What happened?" he asked me.

"I was in here with Alli and we were going to get in the hot tub. He came in here and I tried to leave but he said he needed to tell me something. I kept trying to go around him but he was pushing me back against the wall." I sobbed "Then he kissed me and when I pushed him away Eli-" I stopped mid sentence.

"Oh God Eli saw didn't he?" Drew asked.

"Yes! He thought that I was purposely kissing him. He called me a Bitch and then stormed out!" I said.

"He called you a bitch?" Alli screamed "I don't understand its why its such a big deal! Why didn't he just ask you?" she said.

"Because it was KC babe." Drew said worried.

"Oh my God! Julia!" I could see the light bulb go off in her head.

"I didn't want him to kiss me! But Eli will never believe that!"

"Yes he will Clare, we will talk to him." Adam said The boys left to go find Eli and soon after that the party died down and everyone left around 1:00 in the morning. Alli and I started to clean everything up.

After everything was clean I told Alli I just wanted to be alone, so I decided to go take a shower. I stood there in the hot water and just let it flow on to my body. Not caring that my make up was now gone or my hair was no longer perfect.

I kept having flashbacks of KC pushing me back against the wall and that reminded me of...

"No Clare don't go there." I said to myself when I could feel that ache in my stomach that made me sick when I thought about that night.

After a really long shower I got out and had realized I forgotten to grab my clothes. All I had was my black lace boy cut panties and a strapless matching bra. I put the under garments on and then wrapped my cotton white towel around my body and quickly towel dried my hair; brushing it and then shaking it out until it had a sexy wet look to it.I walked back into my room and almost screamed when I seen someone sitting on my bed.

"Eli." I said with a shaky voice.

He looked at me and I could still see a glimpse of pain in his eyes.

"Did you want to kiss him Clare? Don't you dare think about lying to me." He said angrily.

"No Eli I didn't!" I said.

He rose from my bed to turn and look at me." Then what the hell was it that I saw!" he yelled.

I took a slight step back from the tone in his voice. "He was saying that since he had already took one of your girlfriends that it was only fair that he take your new one. I told him to leave me alone and that I wanted you and not him and when I tried to walk away he grabbed me and pushed me back to the wall." I put my hand to my arm without thinking and he looked at my arm and shuttered when he saw a mark on my forearm where KC had grabbed me hard.

"He kissed me and then as I was pushing him away is when you walked in and then left. I swear to you Eli! I wouldn't do that to you!"

"How can I believe you?" He said in a harsh voice.

"Because its me El! I can barley use a cuss word! Do you think I would cheat on you?"

"I don't know! Of all people to see you kissing its KC? What do you expect me to think! I never thought Julia would cheat on me either!"

"I am NOT Julia!" I screamed at him. "Stop comparing me to her! Damnit Eli you cant keep doing this to me! I would never cheat on you and you know it!" I screamed.

"Clare. I'm not comparing you to Jul-" I stopped him.

"Yes you are and I am so fucking tired of it Elijah Goldsworthy!"

He looked at me in complete shock. I was shocked to but I was letting my anger out.

"Listen, I get that Julia is a heartless bitch and she hurt you by cheating on you but look at me!" I paused until his eyes met mine. "Do I look like her? Do I act like her? No! I am me, Clare Edwards; girlfriend of Eli Goldsworthy who was being taken advantage of downstairs! And you just stormed out without even waiting to see what was going on or hearing me out!" I was crying now.

I looked up to him through wet eye lashes and seen his face softened and he walked over to me. He wiped a tear away gently and then wrapped me in his arms.

"I believe you Clare. I'm so sorry I let him to that to you. I was just so hurt, it felt like my heart was breaking because I couldn't believe this was happening to me again. It's my fault." he paused to kiss my forehead

"It's not your fault Eli. I don't blame you. I just wish you wouldn't be so quick to judge me." I said sadly. He kissed my forehead and ran his fingers through my hair.

"I don't think you realize how much you mean to me Clare. I cant loose you. You are my everything, my entire reason for living! You are not Julia. You are a beautiful person who cares for me deeply. Clare-" He paused pulling my face from his chest to look into his eyes.

"Clare I'm in love with you."

I froze. Those were the words that I feared the most. He noticed this and continued.

"Clare I'm not him, just like you aren't Julia. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm going to love you and protect you. I fear those words too because they can destroy but they can also build and I have fallen deeply in love with you Clare Edwards."

I just stared at him. I couldn't speak. I was both scared and happy at the same time. I wanted to run away from him because of those words but I also want to kiss him and tell him I love him to. But was it love that I felt? We had only been together for like 2 and a half months. Was that enough time to fall in love with him? Fall in love with his laugh, his smirk? His sexy stance, his sense of style? The way he treated me and the way he loved my best friend Alli? Was this enough?

"I love you to Eli." I blurted without thinking. And when I said it, it felt right. I was in love with Eli.

"I am completely in love with you." I said crying as I looked into his beautiful green eyes.

That was all it took for him to eagerly grab my face and kiss me. He kissed me like he never had before. It was a kiss of all the pain he had ever felt going away; a kiss of everything he had ever felt about me but most importantly it was a kiss of love.

I felt his hands move up and down my back softly caressing every inch. He moved his lips to my neck and softly nibbled at it making soft moans escape my mouth. He moved back to my lips forcing his tongue into my mouth not even bothering to ask for entrance. We were both so lost in this desirable hunger we were feeling for each other.

As he trailed his kisses down my neck again and sweeping his tongue across my collar bone he gently made his way further down to the tops of my breast; kissing them lightly and bringing his hand to softly caress the one being left out. It was an amazing feeling that he abruptly cut short and backed away from me.

"I am so sorry Clare. I went to far." He said sadly. I loved how he cared so much about me that in the middle of pleasuring us both he would stop because he knew of my vow. But that wasn't going to stand in my way anymore. Not tonight.

"Don't be. Just hang on one second ok?"

He nodded and I went to my bathroom And over to Alli's room. She was gone, but when I turned back to my bathroom I noticed a note there that I had not seen before on my mirror.

_"Clare I am with Drew! I'll be back in the morning! Love you! -Alli_

I laughed at the perfect timing and then went back to my bedroom and locked my bathroom door.

"Are you mad at me?" Eli asked me.

"Why would I be?"

"I took things to far Clare." he said with his head down as he sat down at the edge of my bed.

I walked over to my bedroom door and locked it and turned out my light. Giving him time to adjust his eyes to the darkness I waited and then spoke.

"And I'm about to take things further." I said as I dropped my towel revealing my black lacy attire while silently thanking whoever was on my side that I had picked these out.

He looked at me and his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped.

"What are you doing Clare." he asked me not looking at my face. He was concentrating on my bra and panties but trying so hard to tear his eyes away from me.

I slowly made my way over to him stood in between his legs while wrapping my arms around his head; he put his hands to my back and pressed me into him, not sure if he was allowed to be doing this.

"Clare what about your purity thing?"

"I love you Eli and I want to be with you in every way possible." I said truthfully.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do anything." He said.

"I'm sure Eli." I looked down at my left hand at the ring that had been there for so many years. I slowly slid it off of my finger and took Eli's hand and placed it in his palm. I then kissed his hand as I closed it over the ring.

I bent down to his ear and with the sexiest voice I could use I begged

"I want you Goldsworthy but the question is do you want me?."

The next moment Eli was standing and holding my face in his hands to kiss me feverishly.

I placed my hands at the top of his shirt and began to unbutton, thankful that he had previously taken his tie off. I pulled his shirt off while never missing a beat between our kisses.

Eli then placed both his hands onto my thighs and hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he spun around to throw me onto the bed.

He crawled onto the bed parting my legs so he could be in between them. He hovered over me as he grabbed both of my arms and placed them above my head while kissing every inch of my body, moving to my ear lobe which he so seductively sucked on and then moving to my neck. I was moaning as each kiss grew more intense with him either licking or biting my skin.

When he came to my breast again he wouldn't have this black obstruction in his way. He placed a hand on the front hook and yanked at it exposing my breast. He gasped as he looked at me and I blushed lightly.

"You are beautiful Clare."

I grabbed a hand full of that black hair and pulled him to me kissing him eagerly. He broke free and went to my left nipple and brought his mouth to it. Its amazing how him sucking on my nipple brought so many sensations. He sucked on my left nipple and then my right; after this he began to bite and pull gently on them making moans escape from my lips. As I grew louder with each moan he did something different. He started lightly flicking his tongue over my nipples which made me moan louder. I couldn't take this teasing any longer. I needed him, wanted him; every part of him I wanted him to be mine. I rose to my knees and began kissing him while trying to unbutton his skinny jeans. Kissing his neck, his collar bone, hi chest and his stomach. I wanted every part of him to be mine and only mine.

When his pants were gone and I was thrown back onto the bed it was then I felt his buldge through his boxers when he pressed it against my sensitive spot through my underwear. I wanted him so bad.

"Eli, I want you! Now!"

He kissed a trial down to the tips of my panties and slid his tongue across the seam. He then tore my panties off of me and I soon realized I was completely naked in front of him.I wasn't embarrassed anymore. I felt beautiful to have him gaze at me and look me over with penetrating eyes.

He continued his kissing and licking where he had left of off. What came next both surprised me and made me lightly scream in pleasure. He took his index finger and slowly pushed it inside of me.

"Your so wet Clare." he smirked at me and brought himself up to kiss me all the while he was slowly and softly pumping a finger in and out of me and then it became two fingers and then his thumb started to massage my clit. I was grabbing the sheets and yanking them at the pleasure this was bringing. The ache I had between my legs and the burning sensation in the pit of my stomach was screaming for more.

"Eli! Please!" I screamed as I pulled down his boxers and looked at him.

Hot damn this man was sexy! This just made me want him all the more. He climbed on top of me and was kissing me deeply. He broke away to retrieve his pants and I instantly stopped him knowing what he was getting.

"No condom. I'm on birth control." I said and he smiled.

He came back to kissing me as he positioned himself to go inside of me.

"Clare this is probably going to hurt Like a bitch. Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure Eli." he paused and looked at me seeming to make one more decision "I love you Clare." He said and I smiled. He was making the decision to tell me he loved me in this moment when he knew it may not be something I wanted to here.

"I love you to Eli." I said back.

He kissed me as I felt him slowly make his way inside of me. He was right, it hurt but not as bad as I had expected which was good. When he felt my walls begin to get used to his size and relax he started a slow and steady pace of thrusting.

"Faster Eli!" I screamed when I had had enough of the slow pace.

He began thrusting faster, deeper and harder. With each thrust bringing on new waves of pleasure. I was screaming and moving my hips along with his to make each thrust go deeper inside of me. I couldn't get enough.I could feel the tingling sensation inside of me starting to boil as my orgasm was starting to peak.

"Shit!" I screamed and this turned Eli on even more. He began to thrust harder and deeper ad he felt my walls start to contract against him.

"Fuck Clare! Fuck!" Eli screamed and with one hard thrust both of us screamed out in pleasure as our orgasms hit their peak. We were both breathing heavily and panting from lack of breath.

Eli laid next to me and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, my back against his chest.

"I love you so much Clare." Eli said kissing the back of my neck.I snuggled closer to him as I spoke the words that I used to fear the most but now meant everything to me,

"I love you to Eli." I said as I drifted to a sweet sleep in my loves arms.

**So the finally concemated thier relationship! LOL was it to much or was it good! It was my first time writting anything like that! I felt that with my version of Clare becoming a little more open to the world and its new ways of life that she would want to changer her mind about sex! So please tell me what you think! REVIEW REVIEW! Thankyou sooooo much!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the wait but it's time for Chapter 7! This chapter is going to be shorter than my previous ones and I'm sorry but it will all come together. Also I think I'm am going to be doing weekly updates because school just started and it's getting harder to write every day. So I'm going to say Saturday's are going to be update days. I'm sorry! If I can update sooner I promise I will! Thank you so much for reading this story! So here is Chapter 7!**

**P.S. Shout out to my Degrassi twitter friend and huge supporter of my story Degrassi_Cat who we should all seriously be jealous of because she not only got to meet most of the cast yesterday but she also go to meet Munro Chambers. Lucky woman! :) **

Eli POV

Wow. That seems to be the only word I was able to come up with to explain my night with Clare. She had long fallen asleep hours ago but I just couldn't make myself join her. All I could do was stare at her beautiful messy bed hair, the color of her lightly tanned skin, and the beautiful outlines of her face.

I couldn't believe that I had told her I loved her. I was always one to wait such a long time because I never thought I could muster up feelings of love for someone so quickly; but that all changed when Clare Edwards came into my life. This beautiful funny, sweet caring girl lying in my arms right now was actually mine. I just want to lay here forever and protect her from all that could come against her. She deserves nothing but respect and love and I hope that I could be just a fraction of enough for her.

When she told me that she was in love with me I wanted to cry. I was so afraid that she would not return my feelings or that she would run away scared because of what that Piss Shit did to her. I can't imagine someone hurting her: My Clare. How could I be so stupid last night when I saw KC in front of her kissing her like she was his. I just assumed that Clare wanted it and left. Never did it even cross my adolescent mind that he was forcing her. How scared she must have been to be put in that situation.

Drew, Adam and Fitz came and put me in my place real quick when they found me down at the river on the docks last night.

"_You dumb Fuck!" Fitz screamed while grabbing my shirt and pulling me off the ground._

"_Let go of me! What the Fuck is your problem!" I screamed back getting in his face._

"_You are my problem! You just bailed on Clare because you couldn't get your shit together and find out what the hell was going on!" _

"_Are you kidding me? She was kissing KC! I saw that dumb bitch cheat on me just like Julia did." I immediately regretted saying that because the next thing I see is a fist flying towards my face and busting my lip. I groaned in pain as I realized I had forgotten just how protective the boys are of Clare and Alli both._

"_First of don't you EVER call Clare a dumb bitch again got it? And second she didn't want to! He kept pushing her back into the wall and forcing her to stay there with him. She was trying to get away Eli!" Fitz said._

"_Yeah ok whatever you say Fitz." I said sarcastically._

"_He's being serious Eli. He was feeding her some bullshit about since he already stole one girlfriend of yours that it was time to steal another. She kept saying No and he kept pushing her back against the wall. Until Alli saw something going on and she grabbed us and ran inside." Adam added joining in on our fight._

"_Wait what? She said No and he forced kissed her?"_

"_Yes you idiot! We saved her ass from him since you took your Prick self and left, leaving her with him!" Fitz said._

"_Oh shit!" was all I could say as I ran to my car and went to Clare's._

I was still angry when I to her house seeing as it was the scene of the crime. But when she stood there (in a god damned towel) I knew she wasn't lying to me. I saw the marks on her arm from that bastard grabbing it to hard as well as the tears in her eyes. I had seen fear in those Blue eyes as well. All I could do was wrap her in my arms and apologize for being such an ass. She is my life and I would die if I lost her. I have never felt this way for anyone before. Not even Julia and we dated for three years! Nothing in those three years has even compared to the time Clare and I have spent together and I hope to keep it that way. I will never leave this angel and I will always try my hardest to protect her from anything. She is mine and she will be forever.

Clare's POV

Waking up the arms of the one who you are in love with is a different thing for me. But it's also the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced in my life. The feeling of his sweet kisses trailing down my neck and shoulders to my cheek and lips. It was pure bliss that I would never change for anything.

"Good morning beautiful." Eli whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes and seen his gorgeous face looking at me and doing my most favorite Eli signature smirk.

"Good morning" I mumbled as I turned myself to snuggle closer to his body realizing a moment later that I was completely naked in my bed with a boy. Oh God if my parents walked in, they would have a heart attack.

We just laid there for hours cuddling and talking about nothing and maybe doing a few other things here and there that should stay unmentionable if you know what I mean.

"CLARE!" I hear Alli scream from down stairs.

I pull away from kissing Eli and groan. "Do you think Drew would be mad if I killed her?" I asked.

Eli just laughed while he got dressed. "Get dressed and I'll go calm down Spit Fire."

I nodded and laughed as he walked out of my room. I couldn't believe that I had, had sex last night with Eli. I didn't regret it at all, it was wonderful but I still couldn't believe it happened. It felt so natural and right to me. I love him so much its unbelievable and I just hope that he loves me just as much. We haven't really talked about exactly what our so called "Love" feelings are. I know that Eli has completely captivated my heart. I want him forever; I thought that this kind of love was not real, that it was only Hollywood worthy but this was as real as it gets. I know that if I was to ever lose him I would be completely devastated and lost without my Eli. I couldn't go on living.

I got up from my bed and went to shower quickly so I could look presentable to him, although I don't think he would mind my messed up from sex hair and completely naked except for a sheet around me kind of look but I'm sure Alli doesn't want to see that.

I quickly pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans with Green spaghetti strap loosed fit shirt and a matching dark blue mini jean jacket with a pair of black pointy toe boots to complete my outfit. Damn Alli was getting to me with this fashion nonsense; boy will she love that.

"Oh that's a cute outfit Clare!" Alli squealed when she seen me coming down the stairs. I expected that.

All the boys were here too, sitting around my dining room table eating breakfast. It was like I had brothers; I shuddered at that thought, Alli was enough.

"You look amazing." Eli said wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. God I love this man.

"Soooo what did you two do last night?" All asked with an obvious devilish smirk.

"Well we-"Eli started.

"Hell No! You stop right there Goldsworthy. I do not want to hear what you and Clare who is basically my sister are doing. Got it?" Fitz said eyeing us.

"Yes sir." Eli laughed and so did the rest of us.

The rest of the weekend went by extremely fast as did the rest of the month and before we knew it Christmas was just a few weeks away. Everything with Eli had been going amazingly well. He had met my parents along with Drew as the title "The boyfriends" and they absolutely loved them. Adam and Fitz had been coming around the house a lot to and my parents didn't mind. They loved all of them and said they were always welcome in our house anytime. It seemed funny to Alli and I because our parents were not known to trust boys with their daughters.

Everything had been going great until a few weeks ago. Eli had started to act somewhat strange around me and I didn't know why. I asked all the boys and they didn't say anything. Alli didn't have the slightest clue either, and when I would ask Eli he would just say he was tired or didn't feel well so I just shrugged it off. Something was bothering him and I wished he would tell me but I wouldn't pressure him. I knew how hard it was for him to open up and I wanted him to feel comfortable at some point to be able to. So if now wasn't the time than that was ok.

We were sitting in my living room watching a scary movie with everyone and Eli got up abruptly kissed me on the cheek, grabbed his coat and left without a word. Well he more like ran out of the house. He didn't say anything to me, he just got in his car and left.

"Ok that's it I can't take it anymore! What is going on with him?" I screamed at all my friends.

"We don't know Clare." Drew said to me.

"Stop lying to me! Is he cheating or something? Or am I the only one that's noticed how weird he has been lately." I yelled back.

"He isn't cheating on you Clare and you know that. He would never do something like that." Adam said calmly.

"Whatever." Was all I said as I grabbed my coat and purse and stormed out side. I got into my car and drove towards his house.

I pulled up to the curb on the side of his house and stormed my way to the front door. I started pounding my fists on the door until Eli came and opened it up.

"Clare what are you doing here?"

"Funny I would like to ask you the same thing seeing as you were just sitting at my house fifteen minutes ago until you all the sudden got up and left without saying a word to me!"

"I'm sorry but I can't talk right now. I'll call you tomorrow." He said and then closed the door in my face.

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I didn't understand what was going on. Why was he doing this to me? Why is he pushing me away?

"He can be a real jerk sometimes cant he?" I heard a snotty little voice say behind me. I spun around and saw the last person that I wanted to see. Julia.

"What are you doing here Julia?" I spat at her.

"Oh nothing, I live in this neighborhood and decided to take a little walk."

"Oh, really? Taking a walk that would lead you right by your ex-boyfriends house? How convenient." I said as I started to walk to my car.

"So how are things with you and Eli?" She asked me; that smart ass.

"Things are great Julia not that it's any of your business."

"Really? Because him just slamming the door in your face seemed amazing. Is that foreplay for you two?"

Well this was embarrassing. Not only will she not shut up but the freaking camera crews are around her. Fine if she wants drama I'll give her drama.

"What are you sad little Julia? I was always told he never did pay that much attention to you. What a shame." I shook my head.

"Yeah right Saint Clare. I've had sex with him more times than you ever will."

"Yeah that's what every guy in school has said about you. You know that they have had sex with you countless times because you're so easy. Apparently your legs just spread open as soon as a boy says "Hello" to you. So tell me Julia, exactly how many STD's have you contracted yet?" I said with a smirk.

"You little bitch; you don't know anything about me."

I walked up closer to her and got in her face. "I don't know need to know much about you to know that you are a pathetic little whore who can't get over the fact that her ex-boyfriend doesn't want her anymore. You can't seem to grab a hold of the fact that he is mine now and not yours. Not that this was ever a game to see who would get him but you lose Julia. So why don't you take you STD filled fat ass back home and shut the hell up."

She started to back away. "If you think this is over Edwards you're wrong. You will not be with him for much longer. He is mine and your about to find out just how bitchy I can get. You better watch your own ass Clare and don't think that those boys are going to be able to protect you." She said with a smirk on her face like she was already up to something.

With that she turned off and started to walk back to her house. If she wants to start a fight with me than let her start a fight. I'm tired of being fragile little Clare who everyone thinks they can mess around with.

I got back into my car already extremely pissed off after what happened. I drove around for about an hour trying to calm down before I went home; it didn't work so when I pulled up to my house of course to my enjoyment (sarcastic much?) the camera crew was here along with a car that looked familiar but I couldn't be sure.

I parked in the garage and walked in my front door and nearly screamed at who was in my house. I felt tears start to form in my eyes as this person finished hugging my parents and turned around to see me standing in the door. Alli had a look of terror on her face as she stood there with Drew, Fitz and Adam staring at me. Only Alli knew what was going on through my mind right now.

"There she is!" My mom said seeing me.

He looked at me with a devious smile on his lips and the only word that escaped my mouth was filled with terror and fear as I breathed out his name.

"Devin."

**I'm sorry it's shorter than my other chapters! I had a bit of writers block but I think I'm getting back into the groove! So what do you think is wrong with Eli? What does Julia have planned? And why is Devin here? Find out next week on Degrassi: The real Toronto. Things are about to get bitchy.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW **

**-MunroInMyChambers **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! Ok so here we are with chapter 8… I hope you enjoy :) This may be a little bit more sexually graphic so don't freak out on me! :)**

**Eli POV**

_Shit, shit, shit! What the hell have I done_! I was screaming this over and over in my head as I paced back in forth in my room trying to understand what the matter with me is. Fitz is going to literally chop my balls off!

It had been a mistake! A huge mistake, but that didn't change the fact that I did it. I can't tell her but I know that if I don't then_ she_ will and it will ruin everything.

I knew I jumped into this relationship with Clare to fast. Maybe I don't love her; maybe she was just a rebound thing. That would make since as to why I did that. But then if that was the case then why did I feel like such a prick now for what I have done.

_It's not that big of a deal. _My conscious tried to tell me.

I need to talk to Clare but I can't. I pushed her away last night when I shut the door in her face. I should have talked to her then. I felt like shit seeing the look on her face when I did and then I panicked when I looked outside and seen her and Julia talking.

It's not like I could go out there and be caught between the two loves of my lives.

Yeah ok I admit it Clare is the love of my life but I think I just fucked up more than I could ever imagine!

Why did I have to get drunk one time in my life! It messed everything up! I didn't want to call Clare because I knew she would be mad at me. I couldn't call my parents for obvious reasons; Drew and Adam were out of town and Fitz of course the one time I need him I couldn't get him to answer his damn phone!

_She_ was the only other person I could think to call! And of course it didn't help that when _she_ showed up to pick my drunken ass up _she_ wasn't exactly sober either.

There is no way I can tell Clare about this. It's one of those things that it better left unsaid.

I quickly pulled out my phone and hoped that my begging would be enough.

"_Please, please do NOT tell Clare. I love her and can't hurt her. It was a mistake and you know it. Please."_

God, please let that be enough. I can't lose her; I just can't.

**Clare POV**

"What are you doing here?" I said trying not to sound like I was about to throw up all over the floor.

"Clare, let's not be rude. Devin, please come in and sit down. This is such an unexpected visit! We haven't seen you in so long!" My mother rattled on as she guided him into the living room.

Alli came running to me, silently asking me if I was ok. The boys saw this as it was their time to leave and I agreed. I couldn't handle this with all these people here. Alli wrapped her arm around me and guided me into the living room sitting on the opposite side of the room.

I couldn't look at him. I was falling to pieces just being in the same room as him. Why was he here? Why now!

"So tell us what have you been up to?" My father asked him.

"I have been pretty busy since I last saw all of you. I have finished all my schooling in the 2 year program and am now actually the youth pastor at a church a few hours away from here actually. I went back home to visit my family and had heard you all had moved here. I was going to be visiting anyways so I figured I would stop by. I hope that's ok?" He said sweetly.

I was barley aware of what was going on. It's like I could hear everything being said but I was gone. Whenever he did what he did to me I was a lost soul. My body was here but my mind and heart weren't; that's exactly how I felt right now.

I felt my heart breaking to pieces in certain areas. I had taught myself not to remember his face or smell. I forgot his voice and his demeanor simply because I was being haunted by them for so long. I had to force them into a vault and never look upon them again. But with him being here it was like he shattered the metal from the door and let everything open back up again.

"I can't do this." I said and I jumped up from my seat and ran to my room trying to shut out the world.

I couldn't handle it. I hate him so much for what he did to me; my parents didn't even know. He was just sitting there like everything was fucking fine! The hell it was you bastard! You stole everything away from me!

"Clare?" I heard Alli lightly tapping on my door.

I fell to my knees and crumpled to my floor. I didn't even notice Alli coming in, I just felt someone holding me. Telling me everything was going to be ok.

"No, no Alli its not!" I quietly yelled at her.

"Why is he here? He is playing this sick little game of lets come torture Clare and act all innocent."

"I know Clare bear and I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was going to be here but neither did mom and dad so you can't blame them." She said back to me.

"I know I can't but I'm still angry at them. How did they not ever see it? You did! Why didn't my mother see me in all my pain! I was basically screaming for help through my actions! That bastard downstairs stole everything from me, Al's, and he is just sitting there in my living room acting like all that happened was a sad little break up!"

"Shh, I know Clare. Calm down. Maybe we can go stay at Fiona's house while he is staying he-"

"WHAT!" I screamed at her as her hand found my mouth to shut me up before my mom or dad came up.

"Shh, Clare!" She said in a hushed voice.

"He is staying here? In our house?" I asked feeling the tears return to my eyes.

"Well I can't be positive but you know that Mom would never let him stay in a hotel now that he is here."

I knew she was right but I didn't want her to be.

"Perfect time for Eli to push me away." I muttered mainly to myself.

"What are you talking about? Didn't you go over there and talk to him?"

"Yeah and when he opened the door he said he couldn't talk to me right now and then he shut it in my face. Then Julia showed up and I verbally kicked her ass. That bitch is really starting to get on my nerves."

"Man Devin really does have you worked up, I've never heard you cuss so much." She smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"Shut up Alli. What do I do? I don't know if I can play nice with him here. And knowing mom she isn't going to just let me go stay at Fiona's or hang out with Eli all the time. I'm going to have to put on my happy face and get over it aren't I?"

"Either that or you could tell Mom and Dad what happened." She spoke silently.

"There is no way I'm doing that. I couldn't even tell you! How can I tell them?"

"Ok, ok I know; you don't have to tell them. But if we don't get back downstairs and eat dinner with them mom's gonna have a cow."

"Ok." Was all I could make myself say with throwing up.

When we got down stairs they were all making their way to the dining room table, as did we. I of course got the look of the devil from my mom for being so rude but what the hell does she know right?

Before I sat down I sent a quick text to Eli hoping he would help me through this.

"_Hey, I don't know what going on but I hope you are ok. Eli, he's here." _

"So why don't you tell us about your church? That must be exciting to be a youth pastor now." My dad started this awful conversation.

"Yes, it's very rewarding. I love my church and it's exciting to see it grow." _He_ responded.

I made the mistake of snorting at that, but I didn't give a fuck. Damnit Eli you have ruined my cuss word mouth speaking for life!

"How is your family doing?" Alli asked with a bitchy gleam in her eye. I just love her.

"Um, they are good. They really miss all of you but have understood the boundaries."

"Boundaries? Whatever do you mean?" I spoke up then.

They all just kind of stared at me and my smart alec demeanor. Bring it; if I can try and take down that bitch Julia I can sure as hell try you.

"Just understanding why it may be difficult for you. You know since we broke up."

"Oh yea we did date at one point didn't we! I almost forget what a horrible time that was!" I said nonchalantly while cutting the crap out of my steak. I don't think it will be edible after this,

"Clare Diane Edwards!" My mother shouted.

"It's ok Mrs. Edwards, I understand her hostility. We didn't end on a very good note."

"At least you're right about one thing."

"Clare!" Alli whispered to me while kicking my leg trying to get me to shut up. But I wasn't done yet.

"Why don't you explain to my wonderful parents exactly why we broke up? You think you can do that? Or do I need to tell them what you did?"

Both of my parents looked at me in astonishment and then turned their gaze to him. Oh shit what have I done? Now I was panicking. Please don't tell them!

"We um, fought too much. I was constantly bringing the relationship down."

You smug little bastard; How did I ever even think he was good looking? He looked like a drug addict version of Daniel Tosh. Ok maybe that was a little extreme but what do you expect? I hate this guy!

"I think I'm finished. I'm sorry but I can't be here and be around him tonight. So if you'll excuse me." I got up and ran to my room.

I packed a few things of clothing and all my essentials. I didn't want to stay at Fiona's or Holly J's. I needed someone more important. Who could hug me and tell me it's ok. Who could make me feel worth something instead of what I feel like know.

"_Eli, I need you."_

**Eli POV**

I heard my phone beep in my bedroom saying I had a new text message. I had taken a shower after sending that text to try and calm down and realize that everything was going to be ok. I didn't need to worry. She said she wasn't going to tell Clare and for that I was once again happy. It had been eating at me and I just needed to forget it and move on. Clare is my life now and I want to make her happy.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. Going to my room I see my phone flashing.

I had two messages from Clare.

"_Hey, I don't know what going on but I hope you are ok. Eli, he's here." _

"_Eli, I need you."_

What? What does she mean he is the-.

"Oh shit!"

I quickly dialed Clare's number while trying my best to get dressed single handily.

"Hello?" she sounded like she was crying.

"Clare, baby, are you ok?"

"No I'm not ok Eli! First you run out on me, then I go to try and talk to you and you shut the door in my face, then I have a fight with Julia and I was extremely pissed off then I go home to find out that.." She trailed off crying even harder.

"That what Clare?" I asked.

"Devin is at my house Eli."

"WHAT!" I yelled. Why the hell was he there?

"Yea, He just showed up at my house. I tried to play nice and eat dinner with them but I couldn't. I had to get out of there."

"Where are you at now? I'll come get you." I said running down my stairs to get to Morty.

I opened my door and sitting on my steps was Clare, with tears rolling down her face.

"I'm already here." She sobbed.

I dropped to my knees beside her and cradled her in my arms. I rocked her and brushed her hair back with my fingers while she cried into my shirt.

"I'm sorry Clare. I know that must have been tough to see him."

"It didn't make it any easier that I didn't understand what was going on with you. Why did you leave and then shut me out?"

"I'm sorry Clare. I was just having an off day and I didn't mean to. I don't want to make you feel like that. I love you, Clare."

"I love you to, Eli. Please don't do that again."

I chuckled lightly. "Ok baby, I won't."

"Eli, I can't go back there. At least not tonight; can I stay with… you?"

I paused before I spoke thinking about how wonderful it would be to wake up with her again.

"Wont your parents beat the shit out of you for it?"

"I didn't tell them where I was going and I'm sure Alli will tell them I went to Fiona's."

"Oh, um, yea ok." I stuttered.

"Hey are you sure you're ok?" she asked me turning her angelic face to look at me.

"I'm perfect. You are so beautiful Clare."

"Not right now. I'm sure I look like crap with my make up running down my face and me blubbering like a baby." She said pulling away.

I grabbed her and pulled her face to mine and brushed her lips slightly with a soft kiss.

"You are always beautiful to me Blue Eyes."

"Come on, let's go upstairs." I said helping her up and grabbing her bag for her.

"Such a gentleman Goldsworthy, I like it." She smirked at me.

We walked upstairs and into my room and Clare went to the bathroom to go Freshen up or whatever the hell that means.

You can do this Eli. It's Clare for Christ sake! You love her, more than you did the day before. Stop letting this bug you.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, jus- Holy mother of God." I said once I spun around and seen Clare standing in my door way wearing, well nothing!

"I'm sorry does this bother you?" she asked sexily.

"Nnn… No not at all." I managed to say. Quit being a prick Eli, and look at her face. Oh hell, who cares I can't.

"I do have a face you know?" she said laughing

"I know but I see your beautiful face every day. This-"I gestured my hand towards her smoking hot body "Is a gift I get to see every once in a while. Damn your parents." I smirked and walked over to her.

"Hands off Eli, tonight is my night. Tonight you are my pet. I am in control."

Ok so don't get grossed out but I got an instant hard on from her talking like that. Holy Hell, her pet? Jesus this is going to be a good night.

"Oh I see someone is up already." She motioned to the buldge in my pants. She walked in and closed the door locking it behind her.

"Ok Eli, tonight you have to do everything I say. You can't speak, touch or even look at me without my permission. Got it?" she said while walking around me and putting her hands through my hair.

I couldn't help my moan as I nodded my head in agreement with her.

"Strip." Was all she said and believe me it didn't take me more than 15 seconds to be completely stark naked. What can I say? A woman who takes control during sex and barks orders at me drives me crazy. It's sexy as hell.

"On your knees Goldsworthy." She ordered and I dropped to my knees and bent my head down so that I was looking at the floor.

"Mmm, you are very sexy Mr. Goldsworthy; but can you perform just as good?"

Fuck me.

"Speak." She said.

"Yes, Clare. I can perform just a good. Possibly, even better."

She bent down so she was in front of me.

"Kiss me and prove it." I kissed her like I had never kissed her before. Like this was the last time I would ever see her. A kiss full of undying passion, lust and hunger for this gorgeous woman in front of me.

Clare moaned at this kiss and I took it that she like it. I took my hands from around my back and place them on her face.

"Bad boy." She slapped my hands away. "I didn't give you permission to touch me yet did I? Apologize."

"I am deeply sorry Clare." I tried to stifle a laugh. This was fun.

"Is this funny to you? Because I can just go to bed if that's what you want." She said looking down upon me.

I dared to make eye contact with her and shook my head now. Almost in a begging way; she seemed to like this.

"Get up." And I did.

She came up to me and put her arms around me.

"I'm not so sure I like this game anymore. I'm so fucking horny and wet that I'm ready to have you right now."

Mother trucker! Where did this Sex kitten Clare come from? I have been blessed, please don't take it away.

"Is that right?" I said while I trialed my fingers down the sides of her stomach and down to her hips.

"Permission to kiss you and touch you every where?"

"Permission Granted."

I dove my face into the crook of her neck and started to plant kisses everywhere. Stopping to bite and nibble on certain areas. I trailed kisses down her shoulders and swept through on her collar bone.

She was moaning and grabbing my hair. I grabbed Clare's thighs and picked her to bring her to the bed. I threw her on to the bed and she giggled.

"Now this is my game Clare Edwards. I would like to try something new with you." I said and she nodded her head. I hope she doesn't kick me away; she was still new to the sex-capades.

I winked at her and bent my head down kissing her thighs and upper stomach; Purposely ignoring the sweet spot. She was moaning in anger because I was getting her excited and not getting to the point but also if pure heaven.

I slowly made my kisses towards her clit. I lightly kissed the top of her pink clit and she moaned out in ecstasy. Ok so my girl likes this. It was time to go further. I slowly snaked my tongue out over her clit and began to swirl my tongue around on the outside of her wet pussy. I began lapping up the sweet juices as I made my tongue sweep into her entrance. I swirled my tongue and touched every nook and cranny I could find.

"YES... FUCK ELI!.. GOD YES!" She was screaming.

I started to fuck her with my tongue even harder. She was gripping at the sheets and her hair trying to stop screaming but not getting very far with that.

She was panting and I could tell she was about to come.

"Eli.. Eli..!" she said and that only drove me in harder. Tasting all her sweet juices and sucking on her clit.

She screamed out and I knew that she had come. I finished cleaning her up and I began to trail more kisses all over her body, making my way up to her face.

"Fuck Eli. That was incredible." She said in between gasping for air.

"I'm not done yet baby."

She looked into my eyes and rubbed her hand over my face. Then she pushed me off of her and slammed my back down onto the bed.

"For now you are. It's my turn." Was all she said before taking my entire length into her mouth.

"Shit!" I said while grunting as this goddess began to lick the tip of my penis. She is a fucking angel; she was an expert at wrapping her tongue around and sucking on me.

It didn't take me long before I was reaching my peak. I screamed out letting Clare know I was going to come in case she wanted to get off but this only made her do more incredible things to me. I came inside of her mouth and she swallowed like it was nothing. She is absolutely perfect.

I grabbed her and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. I rolled her over so she was lying down. I started to kiss her breasts and nipples. Nipping and sucking until it was erect; doing the same to the opposite. It didn't take long until the other half of me was standing to attention ready for more. This girl does things to me. I kissed every inch of her treating her like the goddess that she is. Letting her know with each kiss that I love her, worship her, and belong to her. She deserves so much more than anyone could ever give her. I am so lucky to be hers and her to be mine.

"Eli, I love you." She said panting.

I positioned myself above her, kissed her forehead and said "I love you to, Clare."

I put my tip at her entrance and slid into her.

"Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" She screamed. This dirty girl makes me smile.

I obeyed her. I fucked her hard, ramming into her with all my might. He legs wrapped around my waist making me be able to hit an even better spot inside of her. Both of us screaming and moaning out of lust and love for each other.

This was love, and we were dancing in the joy of it.

"Yes! Yes!" Clare screamed.

He hips bucked obnoxiously against mine making it all the more better.

"I'm coming Eli!" she screamed and I fucked her harder and joined her in this.

"Fuck Clare!"

"UGHH!" were the only screams to be heard.

As we finished riding out our orgasms, we laid next to each other. Basking in the love we felt for each other. I wrapped my arms around Clare holding her and loving her. We soon fell into a deep sleep in each other's arms.

**Clare POV**

The Next morning

"I'm sorry Eli, but I have to go home." I said as he laid there naked in bed whining like a five year old.

"But I don't want you to. Just stay with me! I love you." He said pouting and I giggled at how cute he was.

"I wish I could but I have to go home and face Satan. My mom has already called me three times to come home. I love you to. I'll see you later, I promise." I kissed him goodbye. I grabbed my things and walked outside to head home to do exactly what I said: Face Satan.

When I got home unfortunately he was still there but on the bright side I didn't have to film today!

I walked in and could see through the back door that He was out there with my parents.

"Clare, your home!" Alli screamed coming downstairs.

"Yeah sorry I ditched you last night. I just couldn't handle it." I said honestly.

"It's ok, I understand. It wasn't much fun without you last night. He wouldn't shut up about his church and apparently he has a new girlfriend but he didn't talk much about her."

"Well I think him and Julia should date. They are both evil and would be a perfect match."

We both laughed as we heard the door bell ring.

"Open up the door girls we know you are right there!" We heard Adam say from the other side.

I opened up to see him and Drew standing there smiling like a bunch of idiots.

"What is the matter with your face? You're smiling really hard and it looks like it's stuck and might hurt." I said giggling.

"Well we have a present for you!" Adam screeched.

"A present? What for?"

"Seriously Clare are you that slow?" Drew said.

I looked at him with a questioning look on my face.

"Clare your birthday is tomorrow!" Drew said back.

"It is?" I asked clearly unaware of this fact! How did I miss the fact that I turn 17 tomorrow?

"Oh my God Clare seriously? How can you forget your own birthday?" Alli said looking like she was about to explode.

"I don't know I'm sorry I have my mind elsewhere."

"Ok whatever! Anyways, come outside we have your present." Adam said smiling really big again.

"So Alli kind of told us that you had always wanted one and we talked to your parents and they said it was ok." Drew said as they led me over to a big square looking thing that was covered with a cute pink blanket.

"Open it!" Alli screamed jumping up and down.

"Ok Alli calm down!" I laughed and picked up the blanket of the square thing. I seen a big black puppy crate and sitting inside of it was a puppy; a baby Chihuahua.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed out and went to get the puppy out of the cage. It was a baby girl and she was so cute! She was a short haired, white Chihuahua with brown spots on her. Her cute little ears standing up and her little tail wagging. She was perfect!

"Thank you so much guys! She is perfect, I love her."

"We kind of named her for you because we thought you would like it and it was funny but if you don't like it you can change it." Adam said.

"Ok what is it?" I smiled.

"Well we know how much you love Twilight so we named her Bella."

I laughed really hard and let them know it was perfect and I loved the name.

I spent most of the morning outside playing with Bella and having her get used to me. When it was getting closer to lunch time I thought I should go in and get something to eat.

"Clare, we will be back in a little while. Your father has a work party to attend and I am accompanying him. Be nice." My mom said and she gave me a stern look.

They are really going to leave me alone in the house with him. I felt my chest start to tighten at the thought. No Alli, is here I will be ok.

I grabbed Bella and went inside straight up to my bedroom. I sat on my floor watching her play with her new toys and then I heard a knock at my open door. Can I not learn how to close one?

"Clare, can I talk to you for a minute." Satan asked. That's his new nick name: Satan.

"Don't come in here." I said without looking at him.

"Ok, I won't. I just wanted to ask what was bothering you. You seem so upset around me and I guess I just don't understand it."

I rose up to my feet and met his evil eyes dead on.

"What do you mean you don't understand it?" I screamed at him.

"We just broke up Clare; there is nothing to be hostile about." He said calmly.

"Are you serious?" I said and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"You know exactly why I hate you!"

"The bible says not to hate Clare."

"Shut the hell up! I will hate you until the day I die! You stole everything from me! You raped me!"

"I did no such thing!" He yelled back at me.

"You are delusional Devin! You are completely psychotic! You raped me and you know it! Don't walk in here acting like all we did was say a few wrong words to each other and then went our separate ways! You tore my clothes off of my body and forced me to have sex with you!"

"Oh really? Because the way I remember it you asked me to have sex with you!" He screamed while taking a step closer.

"I would never have asked for Sex with you and you know it! I wanted to wait until I got married!"

"Is that true Clare? Then where is your all mighty purity ring now?" he seethed. "It seems to me like you are nothing but a little slut who can't keep her legs closed. Do you just open them for everyone?" He asked. Where have I heard that line before?

"Why are you here Devin? What do you want?" I said to him with tears forming in my eyes.

"I'm here to make sure you keep your god damned mouth shut. I never raped you Clare, at least that's what everyone else will believe if you say anything. You are just a poor like upset teenager who went crazy after I left her because she couldn't have me anymore."

"You are truly a sick person." I said and that was a mistake.

He strolled up to me and grabbed me by my throat and backed me into the wall.

"You listen hear you little bitch. I'm going to make you wish you were dead if you don't learn to keep your fucking mouth shut. I came here for two reasons. First being to get you to keep your mouth shut! And the second was for you. Your parents love me Clare, don't you get that? You are mine and always have been. By the time I'm done here your parents will be begging you to be with me. Your daddy was ready to sign you over to me when we were dating. So don't think I am leaving here without you."

I knew that I wouldn't be going anywhere with him but I was scared. He wasn't blocking off my breathing or anything but I was scared out of my mind that he was going to hurt me again. Just like he did every day we were together. My parents really believed I was just that clumsy. Sorry to break it to you mommy but my super Christian boyfriend beat me.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"That's what you think Clare. I still love you and I always have, I want you."

"Get off of me!" I screamed as he bent his head down to kiss me. Why does this keep happening to me!

"Ok, Clare. I don't want to hurt you." He said while backing away. "I will be here until you are mine again. I love you, sweet Clare." Then he left closing the door behind him.

My back still against the wall I fell to the floor crying uncontrollably. What did I do to deserve this? I knew he was just torturing me but why? I didn't believe him when he said that he loved me or anything, he is just trying to get to me! But why I just don't understand.

My phone beeped and I got a message from someone I didn't know.

"_I told Clare Bear. Love you : ) –Evil Bitch." _

**Is it ok for me to hate Devin? Ugh! Alright there is Chapter 8 and I hope you enjoyed it! I have plenty of more drama to come! Tell me your thoughts on what you think is going to happen! See you all next week on Degrassi: The Real Toronto **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey all! Alright so here is a brand new chapter! I apologize for the late update! I hope it was worth the wait! Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything related to DEGRASSI! I own only my story.**

**WARNING: This Chapter has some reference to violence and how one might feel or begin to blame themselves for it. If you are offended I do apologize.**

**Clare POV**

"Clare? Clare where are you?"

I could hear Alli yelling for me but I couldn't make myself answer. I still sat here against the wall trying to process exactly what just happened; exactly when I became the person that always got hit, raped, and abused. Is there something wrong with me? I thought I had left Devin and his abusive ways behind when I broke up with him and he left. I thought my life would begin to somewhat unravel to a normal life. I wanted to live my life as a normal teenager; crazed about boys, making sure my hair and clothes are perfect or worrying if I have the most up to date phone or not. I didn't want my teenage life to be defined as have been raped, hit and verbally abused. I wish I had the answer as to why this was happening to me, but unfortunately I don't.

"Clare? We are all waiting outside for you to get into the hot tub!" Alli yelled again but still I couldn't answer her.

"Clare?" This was a different voice. One I loved and adored; one that made me burst into tears at the sound of it afraid for him to see me like this.

A soft tap came at my door and from under my lashes I could see a figure step in. I seen those cute black boots with chains on the sides leading up to the tight black skinny jeans that I knew Eli was adorning. I looked backed down to my carpet as I sat still against my wall hugging my torso, and afraid to move knowing I could fall to pieces at any moment.

In a moments time Eli was kneeling before me placing his hands on my forearms; I love how just the feel of his touch seems to send a calmness through me, and I can already feel better. I feel my heart tugging towards him wanting to feel his embrace but I also feel myself starting to pull away in to my own dark space. I am torn between wanting to hide away like I used to and keeping my pain secluded and locked away, or letting Eli have me and heal me.

"Oh my God, Clare are you ok?" Alli asked stepping into the room.

"Can I have a moment with her Alli? Go back outside with the guys and we will be there in a minute."

"Ok. Just call me if you need me." Alli seemed sad to see that someone else was here to take care of me now and not just her, but I knew she understood that I would need Eli.

The door closed silently and I could feel Eli's eyes staring at me as I sobbed quietly having a tug-of-war with my heart as to what I should do now. I know that I love Eli with all of my heart and I want him in my life forever, but can he really love me and all of my problems. This is my entire fault that everything is like that, I know it is; it has to be. I had to have done something wrong for Devin to have felt like it was ok to take advantage of me. I just don't know what to do to make it go away so this doesn't keep happening to me. Eli isn't going to want me with all my problems; why is he even here? I may not understand but I selfishly need him. I can't let him go.

"Do you want to talk about it baby?" he said so sweetly it nearly broke my heart.

"I just, um fell down?" Great way to end it in a question there Clare! What the hell is the matter with me?

"Clare, I love you; please tell me what is bothering you."

I tilted my face up to his and took a look into those beautiful eyes. They looked at me with such love and care it took my breath away. How could I have someone so great and be such a disgusting person?

When his eyes took me in he seemed to notice something I had failed to. His eyes grazed my tear stained face but then took notice on to something different; something I myself hadn't seen.

"Clare." He began with such sternness in his voice I suddenly felt like I was his child. "Why does your neck have red hand prints wrapped around it?"

I looked at Eli and then down back to the carpet. I hadn't felt my airway being cut off so I didn't think of his hands leaving a mark. Maybe I was just getting used to the abuse; hell Eli could probably slam me into a wall and I'm sure I would take it just fine; although I know he wouldn't do that.

"I, um.. I don't know."

"Clare don't you dare lie to me. Tell me that fucking truth. NOW!" he yelled at me that I suddenly panicked. Could I keep this from him or can I tell him? I decided to go with the latter.

"D…Devin." I whispered with such quietness in my ashamed voice.

Eli growled; he literally growled as he let me go and ran out of my bedroom door. I could hear him screaming as he ran down my hall way to the stairs.

"ELI, NO!" I screamed as I jumped to my feet to chase after him. Damn he's fast. Who knew that a skinny jean and skull ring wearing gothic kid could be a real runner at heart? Damn you Eli Goldsworthy.

I fled down the stairs and to the back doors where I could hear Alli screaming and guys yelling. As I made my way to the porch I could see Eli on top of Devin punching the shit out of his face. Drew, Adam and Fitz were confused as to why but still trying to pull Eli off. Eli looked like a murderer right now but I couldn't blame him. He was protecting me; but he shouldn't be protecting me. I am the one who got a hand to my throat and thrown against a wall. It's my fault; isn't it?'

"You son of a Bitch!" Eli screamed. I could hear Devin moaning through pain and trying to push Eli off of him; Devin got in a few punches himself and that really pissed me off.

"Get the hell of me!" Devin screamed.

"ELI STOP!" I yelled but my voice was drowned out by the amount of testosterone fighting in my back yard.

The boys managed to finally pull Eli off from slaughtering Devin's face.

"What is your problem?" Fitz yelled at Eli.

"That sick fuck attacked Clare again!"

"No I did not!" Devin yelled. "Tell them Clare!"

All eyes were on me and even though I know Eli would be so pissed at me I spoke without really thinking.

"Eli, Babe, what are you talking about? Devin didn't touch me." Oh my God what did I just do?

Pain took place of anger on Eli's face as I denied what scared me most and a smug look of accomplishment came across Devin's.

"Are you serious Clare? You just told me!" Eli screamed at me.

"No I didn't Eli. You assumed that's what happened."

"See Eli that's what will get you in trouble there buddy; assuming the worst of a situation." Devin smiled at him.

"You shut up you bastard! You fucking tried to choke her!" Eli said to him trying to punch him again. The boys held him back but their eyes flashed to me trying to make out if this was true.

"Clare if he didn't touch you then why is your neck red?" Alli asked looking pissed herself.

I hated lying to Alli but I was afraid for her. What if I told the truth and he beat her up? No, no that can't happen. I am the one who deserves to be hit or raped not Alli; and I really don't want the boys to fight him.

"I was crying really hard when you and Eli found me and my skin is just blotching from that. Not a big deal. Devin came to talk to me and when he left I was upset and I was just having an, I don't know panic attack I guess." I tried to sound as convincing as I could but I knew that at least Eli wasn't buying it.

"Clare why are you lying?" He looked at me with such anger, hurt, and shame that I almost broke down. But I couldn't; it was up to me to protect them.

"Eli, I am not lying. Believe what you want to. I am going back to my room; there is too much testosterone down here." I said as I quickly spun around and started for my room. I made it about halfway up the stairs before Eli was behind me.

"Clare what the hell was that?" He screamed at me and I kept going until I was lying face down on my bed.

"CLARE!"

"WHAT!" I screamed back to him. "What do you want?"

"I want to know why in the hell you just lied down there?"

"Because Eli nothing happened okay! Just drop it!"

"No I won't drop it Clare! If he did something you have to tell me! As your boyfriend it's my job to protect you!"

I ignored him rolling to my side to look out my open window.

"Look at me!" he yelled but I made no movement. I knew I was hurting him. I had to fix this.

"Eli, its fine ok? Nothing happened; please can we just drop it?"

Silence fell in the room but it didn't come without tension. I swear that I could feel everything he was feeling or thinking. I know he knows the truth but doesn't want to push me on it; I know he wants to kill Devin for touching me but he won't do that either. I don't deserve him.

"Okay Clare fine. I'm sorry, I will drop it. Can I lay down with you?"

I nodded my head and I suddenly felt big strong arms wrap around me. A kiss in the crook of my neck let me know that everything was ok. I knew Eli just wanted to protect me but I had gone through his before and I didn't need anyone to protect me. I could take care of myself. We laid there for silent hours just holding onto each other. No words needed to be spoken to fill up the time. It was just me and him in our own world; a happy world.

"So your birthday is tomorrow." Eli stated but I remained silent.

"I wasn't suppose to tell you but I can't help it and plus I know you hate surprises."

"Ok?" I questioned as I rolled over to look at his gorgeous face looking down on me.

"So Alli has secretly been working with Fiona and Holly J to throw you a surprise party; its tomorrow night at Fiona and Declan's house. Adam has been helping out too because him and Fiona are kind of talking, like actually almost dating talking."

"Really? She doesn't talk about it much. She's very private. She knows that I know the secret but still."

"They are really great together."

"Yeah, I think they would be super cute and Fiona is a real accepting person. I have become so close with her and Holly J since we moved here, Jenna to but haven't seen her much since she's about to pop."

"Yeah, but are you okay with the party?" he asked sweetly kissing my forehead.

"It sounds fun." I smiled. "Eli?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

**Eli POV**

"Where is Clare?" They all asked me as soon as I came from upstairs.

"She's sleeping. Where's sick fuck?"

"He left. Said he needed some fresh air." Adam said.

"What the hell happened?" Drew asked.

"I told you! He fucking grabbed her throat! I don't know if he was trying to choke her or get her attention but it sure as hell got mine full god damned attention!"

"But Clare said tha-"Alli started but I cut her off immediately.

"She's lying! She won't tell me anything and then she made me feel like an idiot outside! I may not like the guy but I won't go bashing his fucking face in for no apparent reason!"

"Okay calm down Eli." Adam said. I noticed Fitz was being really quiet but when I looked at him he seemed ready to burst.

"Alli, why do you think she would lie?"

"Honestly Eli, I have no idea. She never even told me he raped her."

"**HE WHAT**?" All three guys screamed out.

"Alli!" I groaned. "Oops, I'm sorry I forgot they didn't know." She said seeming embarrassed.

"Devin raped her?" Adam asked. I knew he could understand from Gracie's perspective how awful that would be and from Adam's perspective how sick and vial it is.

"Yeah, he did. That's why I am not very fond of the prick."

"Well then let's go find the asshole and murder him!" Fitz finally roared.

"You can't do that. Clare would have your ass on a platter. You guys can't even mention that you know or mine and Eli's ass will be right next to yours." Alli pointed out.

"Speaking of having asses on a platter have you told Clare yet?" Adam said.

Alli turned away looking pissed which she had every right to be, she was so protective of Clare, I don't think I fit anywhere between those two.

I shook my head ashamed of myself still. I couldn't bring myself to tell Clare; Alli had opened her big ass mouth once again and told the guys who didn't take the news lightly. Fitz actually fucking kicked me in my fucking crotch saying "Sorry about your nards!" Dumb bastard; but I deserved nothing better and apparently it made great TV. Thank God Clare didn't go to the viewing of the episodes before they aired.

Adam and Drew had let me off pretty light because they knew I was wasted. I was surprised but grateful.

"You need to tell her man." Drew said.

"I know I know I will, but right now I just want to throw her the best fucking birthday ever. She deserves that much."

"Ok well Fiona still needs help setting up everything, so let's go give her a hand." Adam said.

"I will stay here with Clare. I'm not going to leave her by herself." I said knowing damn well I would never leave her out of my sight again.

We all said our goodbyes and I went to the living room awaiting a long night.

**Clare POV**

"Does it seriously take you THIS long to get ready Clare?" Eli groaned; he was sitting on my bed like he had been for the past 2 hours. I can't help it; I'm a girl and this stuff takes time! Especially if I am getting ready for a party at the Coyne residence.

"Shut it Eli, I will be done when I get done."

I saw him smirk at me from my side view; I knew I was taking a long time but I wanted to look great. It was my 17th birthday and I wanted to the best that I could. I had been here for almost 4 months and everyone seem to like me; But like I have said before I don't want to just be known as good ole' Saint Clare. So tonight I wanted to show off that I knew how to dress to impress. God I have been hanging out with Fiona and Holly J too much!

I stepped away from the mirror and took a good look at myself. My hair had started to grow out somewhat but not much. It was still curled as usual but this time with a more stylish bigger barrel curl to it. I had on a short mini black dress that was strapless and the front of the dress had different riffs through it giving it flaps of multiple layers but not in a bulky way. Sequins were lined through the front in some of the layers. I polished it off with some nice black stiletto pumps that would make me just at the perfect height so I wouldn't be taller than Eli.

"Perfect." I said as I turned to look at Eli who was just gazing at me with a big smile.

"You like?" I ask.

"I love!" he said finally making his way towards my eyes which always makes me giggle.

"You ready to go?"

Eli simply nodded and helped me put on my long black button down coat so my parents wouldn't have a heart attack when they saw me. The story to them was we were all meeting up at some high class restaurant for my birthday dinner. They are such idiots; they think all Eli and I do is talk when we sit alone in my bedroom. I guess their trust for me goes a long way!

As Eli and I made our way to Fiona's I started getting nervous. I knew that she liked to throw lavish events and that's not really me but I wasn't going to reject her kindness. She was a great friend and I knew that I would love anything that she decided to throw for me tonight.

"Here we are, my lady."

"Oh God are your back on your Shakespeare kick?" I giggled.

"Hey, don't even Edwards, he is a God himself. That man could write anything and it created something so beautiful and poetic."

"Ok now you just sound like a girl."

"No I Sound smart. Do you not want a smart boyfriend?" he smirked putting the car in park.

"Just because you are so in love with Shakespeare doesn't make you smart." I laughed teasing him.

"Ouch Clare that hurt! You can let yourself out of the car." He smirked jumping out and just standing next to the hood trying not to laugh. I made no move to get out of the car and eventually he came and rescued me.

"Why aren't you quite the gentleman Goldsworthy?"

"Nah, I just have week old lunch in there and just didn't think you would want to get sick."

"That is so gross."

"What can I say I am a guy? If you get to take two hours to get ready then damnit I can be a gross normal teenage boy!"

I just laughed at our cute banter as we started to make our way to the front door.

"Clare! Wait a minute." I heard someone calling my name. I stopped and turned around and my smile instantly was wiped off my face. KC was walking over to me with Jenna trying to waddle next to him.

"Hey Clare!" Jenna said in her normal smiling sunshiny self.

"Hey Jenna, how are you feeling?"

"Fat but what's new." She laughed.

"Ok come on Clare." Eli said trying to pull me towards the front door.

"Wait, Clare I want to talk to you." KC said.

I was going to try and say something but Eli grabbed my arm and put me behind him and stepping to stand in front of me.

"She has nothing to say to you asshole."

"I just want to apologize." KC said.

"Thank you K-"I began but was cut off again.

"I said she has nothing to say to you nor will she accept your apology. Don't speak to her again you got it?"

"Look man I was just trying to say I was sorry. I over stepped my boundaries and I get that ok? I don't think she needs you to speak for her either." KC spat at Eli.

"Yeah well she also didn't need you to force her against a wall and unwillingly kiss her but she didn't get a say did she? So why don't you piss off and leave her alone like I said." Eli then grabbed my arm again and started to the front door while KC and Jenna went the opposite way.

"Eli what was that for?" I asked him when we were stopped at the entrance to the mansion before us.

"What was what Clare?"

"You with KC. He was just trying to apologize."

"Well you aren't going to accept his apology."

"Excuse me? Isn't that something I should decide for myself?" I said starting to get angry at him that he was acting like this.

"I don't want you to talk to him anymore Clare."

"Well, I will consider that later."

"What do you mean consider it? You won't talk to him again." He said sternly looking at me straight in the eyes.

"And you will not try to control me Eli. I can make my own decisions, got it?"

He looked at me confused as he took in deep breath. He looked into my eyes again and he seemed softer than before.

"I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to sound like I was controlling you. I just hate him with everything inside of me for what he did to you and how I treated you. I just hope you won't want to talk to him because of what he did. People don't change overnight." He said looking at me with only love and concern.

"Ok, Eli. You don't have to worry; I have no desire to talk to him. I know you wouldn't control me; but if you want to-"I paused stepping closer to him and grabbing his tie to bring his lips towards mine. "I wouldn't mine you may be trying to control me in other ways." I said with as much sexy as one could fit into a voice.

"Damn Clare, Does it have to wait until later?" He asked kissing me deeply on the lips.

"Sadly yes it has to wait until later. Remember this party thing you are dragging me to?"

"No I honestly don't" He smiled and began to kiss me again. It was a deep tender kiss that was more romantic than passionate. He brought his hands up to my cheeks and cupped them into the palms of his hands. He placed light kisses on my cheeks, nose, chin and forehead, then finally landing back on my lips placing a beautiful kiss there to end it.

"Aww, aren't you two just the cutest!" A whiny, annoying, bitchy, slutty and any other name you can think of voice came from behind us.

"Just so sweet I could cry! What do you think Devin?"

I froze and my eyes snapped up to look at Eli's already hard face. Both of us turned our heads and seen the two people we disgusted the most ruining my birthday.

"What the HELL are you doing here?" Eli said. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it three times sending the words "I love you" hoping that this would keep him calm.

"What, ever do you mean Eli? We are here for the wonderful festivities. Its Clare's birthday silly and I wouldn't miss it for the world." Julia gushed. Stupid bitch thinks she's so funny. I swear to God I won't be afraid to rip this God damned dress tonight; and its short enough that I could get a high enough kick to maybe mess up her already ugly ass deformed face. Damnit now Fitz and his aggressiveness is rubbing off on me!

"Don't act like you and I are BFF's Julia. You weren't invited and neither were you." I said pointing to Devin.

"Oh you guys know Devin? Well that's great! It gets us past that entire awkward meet and greets stuff." She gushed as if we were all old time friends. Just one kick and I swear I could knock her out. "He just got into town and I haven't seen him for so long! We have been dating for a while now." She smiled at me.

I felt all the air in me rush out in one quick gust.

"You guys are dating?" I asked.

"Yes very much so; Julia is great, I am so in love." Devin added in now.

"You guys are full of shit."

"Now Eli that's not polite." Julia began before pausing. "Well it's almost time! See you two love birds inside!" Julia grabbed Devin's hand and pranced off to the party.

I turned and looked back at Eli both of us shaking our heads. "Well tonight should be a very interesting night." I spoke with nothing but honesty but it was later that I found out just how honest that statement was.

**Well there was Chapter 9! I am sooooo sorry it took so long! Please forgive me! I hope you like this chapter, I wasn't t0o sure about it! Review and let me know what you think! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 is here! Yay! I apologize for the late update last time and I will try not to let that happen again! Please make sure to review at the end with honesty! It helps me know if you guys are still liking the story or not! Thank you so much for taking part in reading this! It means soo much! Also to clear up any confusion from Chapter 9; in this chapter when it is in Clare's POV remember that it's just like being in her head. When Clare starts to think about being hit or raped now that it has been a while since it happened she is starting to actually deal with it. Clare has kept it bottled and locked away like she said in Chapter 8 and now with Devin in town it is starting to surface and she feels responsible for being hit. I have someone in my family who dealt with abuse and afterwards she felt responsible and like it was all her fault so that is what I am trying to do with Clare. Also as a teaser and a note; some of you are confused about Julia and Devin dating and how long they have been or if they knew each other before; all I can say is: Don't believe everything that either one of them say, especially when they are talking to Eli and Clare. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Degrassi. I own only my story and its plot.**

**ALSO: Credit to Degrassi_Cat for giving me the name for our couple Devin and Julia. Thanks so much for hating them and giving them a great name! LOL :) **

**Clare POV**

"**SURPRISE!" **

Everyone screamed at once when I made my way through the doors. I was instructed by my date to put on my best surprised happy looking face. But truth be told when I walked in and seen how many people where here and how much effort went into the planning of this party there was no need to act surprised. It was incredible; there were lights everywhere with rose pedals perfectly placed on every inch of the floors leading to the outside. People were everywhere smiling and yelling their excitement at my surprise. I felt so loved and adored; I felt as though I had a million friends who cared about me enough to make my birthday memorable.

"Oh my Gosh! Thank you so much! This is amazing!" I said back as they continued their cheering and clapping.

"Happy birthday!" I hear the boys and Alli say as they approached Eli and me.

"Were you surprised?" Fitz asked acting like a little kid and smiling like an idiot.

"Yes completely!"

"Clare! Happy Birthday! I am so glad we managed to sneak this one by you!" Fiona said joining us.

She looked incredible; wearing a short purple strapless party dress that snug at the waist but then flared out with almost swan like ruffles and as her accessories there was already a glass of Champaign attached to her hand; where it would stay all night.

"Thanks so much Fi! You really didn't have to do all of this!"

"Are you kidding me? Clare you are one of my best friends of course I had to do this! Now come on the party is in the back!" She smiled leading me to the outside that was even better looking than inside the large home.

Party lights and lanterns were strung everywhere. Multiple tables of food that was filled with all my favorites; there was even a DJ with a dance floor. It was amazing and meant so much to me.

"Fiona this is amazing."

"It was so fun putting it together! Now go greet, mingle, eat, dance or whatever you feel like! Have fun!"

With that said everyone dove right into the middle of the party and we were having a blast. Everyone was laughing, dancing and singing to the music. This night was going to be a night I would never forget, of course Fiona thought the same thing to seeing as how she was already wasted and it was only 9:30. Adam was being really sweet and helping her out, but my attention wasn't on them. I couldn't keep my eyes from darting towards Julia and Devin or as I like to call them DEVILia….Just saying!

They were being so gross with all their PDA and shit. It was disturbing but I swear there is motivation behind it. There is no way they have been dating for a while.

"What are you thinking about Clare?" Eli asked breaking me from my thoughts about the whore and pimp.

"Oh I'm sorry Eli. Nothing just wishing Devilia over there would leave." I said honestly.

"Devilia?" he asked with a smirk. Crap I didn't realize I let it slip out. My brain and mouth don't work together.

"Um, yeah sorry I'm on twitter way too much. You know they call us Eclare?" I laughed at the name. I really loved being on twitter and seeing what everyone's thoughts were after each episode. The response is great and funny.

"Wow you are one of a kind, and yeah I heard something like that." He smiled at me.

"I just can't stand either of them and I don't want them here."

"I know, but don't let them spoil your night! It's your birthday and we are going to have fun!"

"You're right, thanks" I smiled sheepishly. We were slow dancing to some nice music blaring from the speakers and I wasn't even paying attention to my wonderful date. I need to get my shit together; Eli and everyone had done such a nice thing for me and all I could think about was how, when and why Julia and Devin were dating. It shouldn't even matter to me because I have the most amazing and sexiest man alive with his arms around my waist dancing with me which is something he absolutely HATES doing.

"Thank you for dancing with me; I know how much you hate it."

"If it's with you Clare I don't hate it, it's my favorite thing because of you."

I smiled at his sweet words and then brought my lips to his for a sweet innocent kiss that would have been amazing had whore bag not interrupted.

"Again, I say just how cute you two are! Clare you are so lucky! Eli was never this sweet with me! Just rough, if you know what I mean." She said wiggling her eye brows.

"Julia, get lost." Eli said

"I would but you seeee the might be problem a that toooo." She slurred out.

"Oh God you're drunk aren't you?" I said annoyed.

"Where's your dumbass boyfriend?" Eli asked clearly annoyed as well.

"I just don't know. I think-"she put a hand to her chin like she was trying to think. "We may have gotten into a fight?" she finished.

"Ok and you are bothering us why?" I asked wishing she would just fall of the earth and die already.

"Clare!" she said with that annoying and whiny voice. "Will you help me please?"

"Fine I will take you home." Eli said being a gentleman even though you could tell it was by habit not by want.

"NO Eli you know I can't go home!" she screamed at him and falling to sit on the ground. She really was drunk.

"Why can't you take her home?" I asked

"Because if her mom catches her drunk one more time she will have to go to rehab, although that doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"Eli, Clare please? I don't want to go away!"

"Oh God fine! I will be right back Eli, Fiona has a million rooms in here and she can sleep in one." I said just to shut her annoying ass up.

"Hey Eli, can you drive me home? Fiona passed out and is upstairs in her room." Adam asked.

Eli looked at me asking if that was ok. God he is so good looking. Man I really need to get my brain back to the smart and sophisticated Clare.

"Eli its fine; I have had an amazing night. Alli and I will be fine we don't live far from here and I don't think Alli is ready to go yet."

"Ok Clare, but come over in the morning around 9 ok? I have a surprise for you." He said smiling.

"Oh really?" I said so giddily. "I will be there at 9 then." I smiled. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips and walked away with Adam while punching him in the arm form making him leave.

"Boys." I said rolling my eyes. "Ok Julia let's get you up and into a bed."

I managed to get her up and put her arm around my shoulder as I walked into the house and to an empty bedroom.

"I'm so jealous of you Clare." She said; great the drunken truths.

"Good, you should be since you have been such a bitch to Eli and me." I said not caring since she probably wouldn't remember anyways.

"I have been horrible haven't I?" she pondered. "It's only because Eli and I belong together Clare."

"Well if that's true then why is Eli with me now?"

"Oh Clare you are just his rebound! Just like all those other girls when he was upset with me at cheating on him! He will get rid of you soon!" She smiled at me like it was okay. What other girls?

"Ok whatever Julia." I said playing it off. I can't believe anything she says, but doesn't being drunk usually make you honest?

"It's only the truth Clare bear! The truth hurts! You out of all of us should know that!"

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked as we entered a room and I gently place her down to sit on the bed. I looked down at her as she looked up at me with nothing but truth written across her own slimy face.

"You know what I mean Clare! About the night Eli got drunk! Duh!"

I stood there just looking at her with such confusion. I honestly have no idea what she is talking about. Eli doesn't drink; he said he hates what it makes people do! Was he lying to me? What happened the night that apparently Eli got drunk?

"Oh Clare you are so funny! You know the night Eli got really drunk because I had apparently pissed him off and then he didn't want to call you because you would be a little brat and get mad at him or whatever so he called Alli to come get him! She is such a good friend by the way! She went down there to go pick him up cause he couldn't find anyone else but I heard she was a little drunk that night too and everything didn't end so nicely!"

I just stared at her as I felt tears come to my eyes. She is lying right? Alli would never do anything like that to me!

"Julia what are you talking about?" I said with a cracked voice.

"Oh God. You really didn't know did you?"

I silently shook my head and turned to look out the window.

"I'm so sorry Clare but from what I have heard and trust me it's a believable source, they um hooked up."

"WHAT!" I screamed and spun around looking her straight in the eye.

"You are lying! Why should I believe you?" I screamed at her.

"I'm not lying Clare! Adam, Drew and Fitz all know too! The only reason I know is because I heard Drew and Adam talking about it! Drew isn't pissed at Eli because Drew and I had sex when Eli and I were dating and he said he couldn't really be too pissed off at him!"

"No, no no!" I said starting to cry hysterically.

"Get over it Clare! This is the real world, he was drunk it's not like he did it with actually knowing he really did!"

"Shut the Fuck up Julia! You may be a little slut who thinks it's okay to cheat on your boyfriend and sleep around with the whole God Damned city of Toronto but I don't! That's why I will actually end up happy one day because I can settle down! I won't end up like some begging prostitute on the street!"

"You better watch your mouth! If it wasn't for me you would still be in the fucking dark and not have a clue that he did anything! Don't take this shit out on me! If you want to be royally pissed off at anyone then the culprit is out there dancing with her boyfriend!"

She was right; even though I hated Julia she had told me what happened. My sister and best friend had hooked up with the love of my life and neither one told me. I instantly spun around on my heels and started running outside. I didn't care that people were all around watching, I didn't care that I would ruin my dress, or that the entire world would see this since there were about 5 cameras covering the entire party including the conversation Julia and I just had. All I cared about was beating the shit out of my so called best friend.

I walked outside and went to the dance floor where I seen Drew and Alli grinding on each other. I stormed my way over there grabbed her shoulder to turn her to face me and I bitch slapped her so hard I made everyone gasp in shock in the fucking back yard.

"You fucking bitch!" I screamed at her. She turned her face to look back at my raging one clearly confused at what was happening. I could see tears forming in her eyes but I knew Alli and she would wait until later to cry. She was tough but I could tell she was hurt emotionally that I just slapped her.

"Clare! What the hell is your problem?" Drew shouted at me.

"You shut the fuck up! You knew about it and you never said anything to me! I fucking hate you!"

"Clare what are you talking about?" Alli asked me.

"Let's see what am I talking about because I am so fucking sure that everyone wants to hear what a lying little backstabbing whore you are! You fucking slept with my boyfriend and didn't even tell me! Alli how could you do that to me?" I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Clare please, can we talk about this later?" Alli said quietly.

"Why should we talk about it later? You never tried to talk about it with me before! You were supposed to be my friend and my sister! You know how much I love Eli and you betrayed me!"

"Clare it wasn't on purpose! I was drunk and so was he!"

"Oh you were drunk? Probably because you and Drew can't go five fucking minutes without screaming at each other! That's a great relationship! Alli I actually have a relationship or should I say I HAD one! You ruined everything! You just can't stand the fact that I am happy!

"Clare you know that's not true! I would never do that to you on purpose!"

"Give me one reason why I should fucking believe you?"

"Eli loves you Clare! You know he would never want to do that to you on purpose!"

"I don't give a FUCK if Eli THINKS he loves me!"

"Clare?" I heard someone from behind me say. I spun around to see Eli standing there looking hurt at my words.

"Oh so nice of you to join our conversation, Goldsworthy! I was just having a little chat with Alli about how you two hooked up and so graciously never decided to tell me!"

Eli's eyes widened as he look to Alli is who was now sobbing into Drew's chest. Oh my God grow up already!

"Clare please let's go inside and talk about it." He said to me while reaching for my hand. I stepped back away from him.

"I am going nowhere with you Eli! You cheated on me! I don't care if you were Drunk or not! You cheated and of all people with Alli! I trusted you and loved you! How could you do this to me?" I said and this time it wasn't as loud. I had started to cry and I couldn't help keep my voice from cracking all over the place.

"I didn't want to. I know it's no excuse but your right I was drunk and I never should have but I am so sorry Clare. I love you with everything I have, you are my life and I never want to be without you. I can't ever loose you."

I had never wanted to hug him so badly and have him tell me it would all be okay, but this was different. I can't run to him and let him hold me, not after what he did. He cheated on me; he betrayed me and was unfaithful. I can't be with someone who would do this to me and that's why the next words I spoke ripped my heart in half and broke me down.

"You just did."

I saw a tear roll down his face at my words. He lost me the moment I found out he had been with someone else. Even if it wasn't Alli I still would have done the same thing. I just can't look at him the same.

"Please Clare, no you don't mean that. I love you so much." He tried to hug me but I pushed him away.

"No Eli, I mean it with every fiber of my being. You are a different person to me now. I love you so much it hurts. I never wanted to look at anyone else again in my life, I only wanted you. I wanted your laugh, your smirk and even your weird taste in music; I wanted all that with you and for it to be my happily ever after. I wanted only you, Eli; forever. But you took away that forever from me when you chose to betray me. You took away my happiness that I thought I could never get back after what I went through with Devin." I paused to let out a soft sob and he did the same. Eli doesn't cry and that's why I knew this was hurting him but I needed to be strong.

"After I left Devin and I began to move on I thought I would never face that much hurt again in my life. And when I met you I knew I never would, but tonight you proved me wrong. I have been beaten up, slapped, and even raped but that never amounted to as much pain as I feel now to what you have done to me."

His eyes opened wide and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. I couldn't do this anymore; I couldn't be here so I looked at him one last time.

"Goodbye Eli." And with that I turned and left. I ran out of the front door of the house; I threw my high heeled shoes down and just kept running. Running to nowhere in particular, but just to somewhere I would be alone.

I don't know where it was I actually stopped or what the time was. I just knew that when I fell to my knees and began to cry uncontrollably that this was going to be the hardest night of my life. There would be no arms wrapped around me all night; no kisses in the crook of my neck; no little I love you whispers throughout the night. But those weren't the important things to me. I would miss everything like that but it wasn't every detail that was killing me. It wasn't the little things like that, which made our relationship. The thing I would miss the most and what was killing me the most hurt me so much when I spoke it aloud as if it was to finalize the entire evening.

"There will be no Eli."

**PLEASE don't hate me just yet! Remember this is only chapter 10 so still some chapters to go! So much could happen! Thank you so much for reading and PLEASE REVIEW! I haven't been getting very many reviews lately and the reviews are what keeps me going. If no one likes the story and isn't reading then why am I continuing? Thank you all so much! **

**P.S. how about the new ep last night? It was awesome! Annie and Jordy did a phenomenal job! And the promo killed me! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! Please forgive me once again for the late update. I had family stuff this last weekend and just couldn't make it to my laptop! But I hope this more than makes up for it! **

**I also need to say a big mother freaking THANK YOU! WOW! I received so many reviews for Chapter 10 and I was completely shocked! For those of you who tweeted me on Twitter while in the middle of reading it you made me laugh and smile! I am so happy you all are enjoying this story as much as I am! **

**Also I have a Twilight Fanfic that I am working on and I have a really cool story set up for it so go check it out! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything related to Degrassi, only my story! **

Chapter 11

**Clare POV**

I was already numb from the cold December night, shivering in my party dress still down on my

knees somewhere I'm not even aware of. It's ironic to me how I always made fun on the

singers who wrote songs about things always happening in December, its like what did

December ever do? But now I completely understand; December is just like its whether: a cold,

frigid bitch that never lets up. I was broken down to my core and this is only the first night in my

long road of misery. I want so badly to be tough and strong; to show that nothing can break me

but who am I kidding? I have never felt so alone and stripped of life before.

I am so in love with himbut I am also so hurt. I have never felt so humiliated in my life, and all

though it sounds crazy but this feels worse than when I was raped. Eli made me feel like I was

the most important human being ever to walk across the earth. He made me forget everything bad that had ever happened to me in my life. Until his unfortunate showing up to my house, I had forgotten about Devin and the incident. That is why I loved, wanted and needed Eli so much. He made me feel whole again.

Eli was my love song, and my every breath. I would never love anyone again like I love Eli. My heart would be his forever but my mind and body couldn't. As much as it kills me inside to think that I will never be able to kiss him or love him like I used to I know its for the best. I cant stand it any longer to be hurt by the people around me. I cant even begin to think about Alli and how our friendship may be ruined forever.

"Clare? Are you ok?"

I heard a voice say from behind ask. I didn't move or say anything. I was frozen in place and I wasn't going to move. I felt something wrap around me and a someone sit down beside me wrapping their arms around me. These weren't Eli's arms, and this I was absolutely sure of. Part of me was sad and longing for them but the other part was angry he hadn't ran after me.

Stop it Clare you don't want that! Oh God I'm talking to myself now; great.

"Are you warm?"

I didn't answer.

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

No answer,

"Are you ok?"

Still no answer.

"Damn it Clare answer me!"

"WHAT!" I screamed so loudly I hurt my own ears. They just weren't going to leave me alone. I didn't even know who it was! I turned my cloudy gaze to look up at my brother, best friend and the only person I felt cared about me right now: Fitz.

He didn't seem bothered by my screaming at him; He almost seemed to expect it.

I wanted to both apologize to him for screaming at him but yet I wanted to yell some more. I wanted to have him hold me while I cried over my love but still I wanted to also be left alone.

Fitz chose the first approach and with his long arms around me he pulled me to him. I resisted at first but I was no longer strong; I buried my face into his chest and cried harder than I have ever cried in my life. With ever tear that dropped I felt a little piece of my heart break off and die. Most people would think I was crazy or over dramatic, but what they don't realize was my whole life revolved around Eli. I know that sounds stupid for a girl to be like that but I couldn't help it. I had fallen mindlessly in love with him; I was devoted to him. Without him I know that I will never love like that again. Everything stops tonight; my life, my heart, and probably my mind.

"Clare I'm so sorry." Fitz spoke softly to me. I responded quietly and almost inaudibly.

"What am I suppose to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

I looked up at him as I began to shake, feeling every emotion within me stir and bounce to the surface.

"Did you seriously just ask me that question? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" I yelled and just stared at his taken aback face.

"Eli was my whole world, my everything. Everything I did was for him! I never wanted anyone more than I wanted him. I loved him Fitz I LOVED HIM!"

"I know."

"No you don't fucking know!" I screamed and stood to me feet throwing whatever piece of shit he put around me.

"Calm down Clare it's ok."

"The hell it is ok! Have you ever been so in love with someone that no one else in the world matters? That everything little piece of your life is about them and revolves around them? That's what it was for me and Eli! And now I don't get to have that anymore! I am physically sick right now because I know that I have to go home and go to bed and there will be no one there to hold me and tell me its going to be ok, no one there to put me to sleep or kiss me when I wake up in the middle of the night! I am dead now Fitz!"

"Clare don't say that. I am so sorry that Eli fucked up but don't ruin the rest of your life because of his stupid ass!"

"WHAT LIFE? I have no more life now! He WAS my life! Don't you get that? And now I don't have him or my best friend and sister anymore! I have to go home and live with Alli and see her face everyday knowing that she is partly the reason that my life isn't worth shit anymore!"

"Clare I understand that you love him but look at what he has done to you! For Christ sake he cheated on you and lied to you! Why would you want to cry over someone like that?"

"Did you know?" I asked bluntly.

"No of course not." he said to fast for me to believe he was telling the truth. Was it possible that my heart was breaking even more to find out my friends weren't faithful to me either.

"Don't you dare lie to me you asshole! Did you fucking know?" I screamed at him.

"Um, well…." he stuttered to a stop.

"Oh my God! You knew! Did you all fucking know?"

He nodded his head slowly and carefully without making eye contact with me. This just proves that I know how to pick the shittiest friends in the world.

"I cant believe this! How could youall do this? You of all people I wouldn't expect to do that to me! You always went on about how we were family and you would do anything to protect me!"

"I thought I was protecting you! I didn't want to have to do this-" he pointed his finger to me as to display exactly what the situation was doing. "- to you!"

"How could you all know and just sit around like it was nothing! You threw me a birthday party and hung out with me every God damn day treating me like I was your best friend but you were just fucking playing a part!"

"That's not true! We all love you to death!"

"That's great because you all just killed me!"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I told you Fitz, without him I am basically dead."

"Don't you think that's a little bit over fucking dramatic."

"The hell I do! Damn it! He cheated on me with my sister! Can you not understand that?"

"I understand it perfectly and it sucks balls but it's between you, Eli, and Alli not the rest of us!"

"Are you kidding me? It became between ALL of you when you heard about it and chose not to tell me! God Fitz, I had no clue anything had happened and I slept with him after that. Do you know how degrading and pathetic that is for me to find that out now!"

"Like I said its between the three of you. We will be here for you when you work your shit out."

"You can still be here but trust me I wont call for your help. I don't ever want to see you again. I fucking hate all of you! Eli, Alli Adam, Drew and you! Don't fucking come near me again or I swear to God I will go shit crazy! You got it?"

I started to back away and walk in the opposite direction, taking a look at where I was. I wanted to just go home and cry myself to sleep but with all my wonderful luck Alli would probably be there and I will want to beat the shit out of her and quit frankly I'm just not up for a catty girl fight tonight; Plus she could probably kick my ass.

"Clare where are you going? Please don't do this! I wanted to tell you but Eli made us all promise we wouldn't!"

"And that made it okay?" I said stopping to turn around and face him again.

"No of course it didn't Clare! But this is exactly what we were trying to avoid! You getting hurt and crazy like this! Alli and Eli barley speak to each other anymore because they are so shaken by the fucked up situation."

"I don't really give a flying fuck if the are shaken about it!"

"Clare, please I am so sorry."

"You know what's so fucked up about the situation? One of the people I thought I hated most of all turned out to be the one to tell me: Julia! Julia freaking told me and you all didn't! I cant forgive you so just please do me at least one good thing and stay out of my life; permanently!"

And with that I turned around and started running again. I knew I was going home; even if little high fashion shit pants was there, I didn't care. She isn't my sister anymore nor is she my parents "Adoptive" daughter anymore. I will play my part in front of my mom and dad but I am going to make her life a living hell. Gone forever is that sweet little innocent Clare; World please meet the all star bitch Clare that makes J-Wow from Jersey Shore look like the nicest person on the planet.

I don't know how long it was that I walked until I finally made it to my street. I just knew I was freezing my ass off and bare foot. I tried everything I could to keep my mind off tonight's events; I don't want to go crazy so I need to move on but I'm just not over it yet.

I got closer to my house and I saw someone sitting on my front steps with their head bowed and elbows resting on their knees. I thought it was Eli at first and I was preparing myself for a heartbreaking yelling match once again. But when they lifted their head it was not at all who I expected and honestly it really pissed me off.

"Drew what the hell are you doing here?"

He looked over at me and I could see his face clearly now. His face wasn't the handsome jock face that all the girls flip shit over. No, this face was painted with tears and pale. His hair was in disarray, and his tie was pulled loose around his neck with his white dress shirt un-tucked. Normally this might impress some girls for the whole sexy messy look but it didn't seem that Drew was here to impress. Something was wrong.

"Hey Clare."

"Are you ok?"

"No" he simply said. I didn't feel the need to say anything so I just waited for him to speak once again.

"I'm really sorry about you and Eli."

"I'm so sure you are." I scoffed at that and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Huh?" he looked at me questioningly.

"You're not sorry for anything. I cant believe you went along with it!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Are you kidding me right now? You knew Drew! You knew the whole time what Eli and Alli had done and you never told me anything!" How many damn times am I going to have this conversation tonight?

"What the hell? I didn't fucking know a thing! Tonight was the first time I had heard anything! Why do you think Alli was trying to get you to talk about it later?"

My eyes probably almost popped out of my head. Did he just say he didn't know about it?

"What do you mean you didn't know? Julia said she heard you and Adam talking about it!"

"Julia? You really fucking believe anything that Julia says?"

"Well she seemed to be pretty accurate for the most part tonight!"

"Yeah except for the part about me knowing! Adam and I never talked about Eli and Alli. I did know that Eli had cheated but I had no fucking clue it was with my girlfriend! He told me he cheated on you with Julia and so did Alli and the rest of them. I kept telling him he needed to tell you and he just said he would eventually."

"But you still knew so why didn't you ever say anything?" I said trying to keep calm, knowing that I wasn't the only one in the heartbroken boat tonight.

"It wasn't my place. Eli and I have been through a lot Clare and it wasn't my place to say anything. I had only found out like the day before your birthday and he said he was going to tell you after your party so I didn't see the point in me saying anything if he was going to himself."

I could see where he was coming from so I guess I couldn't be to mad at him. I walked over to him and sat down next to him on the steps and laid my head on his shoulder. A few moments of sad silence swept over us and it felt somewhat comforting.

"Drew how did this happen? Should I be this angry? I know they cheated but they were both drunk so should that change anything?"

"Honestly Clare, I really don't know. I have thought about that a lot too. But every time I try to justify it with drinking involved I cant help but picture them together."

"Yeah, but I don't mean to sound horrible but how can you be just as angry as I am. You kind of did the same thing with Julia."

"No, mine was worse and I know that. I did it consciously. I never thought Eli would repay me the favor so to speak but its not that I am so angry with him. It sucks that he did that but I am more angry with Alli."

"Why?"

He sighed softly and shook his head a few times. It seemed he was growing tired of tonight's plans that were set out to hurt us as he laid his head on mine that was still resting on his shoulder.

"After what happened with Julia and me I realized that my friendship with Eli was more important than anything. I also realized that wasn't the kind of guy I wanted to be. I didn't want to be a cheater, or a player even if reality TV makes me out to be that way, I'm not. I have never cheated on a girl or even looked at another girl when I have a girlfriend. I loved Alli with all of my heart but she did something that I am completely disgusted by now: She cheated."

"Wow, you really are a lot smarter and more intellectual than TV makes you seem!" I laughed trying to lighten the mood, it seemed to work when I heard him chuckle lightly.

"Seriously though, it sounds like that whole situation with Julia and Eli changed you."

"It really did, even though Eli will never believe that. I have honestly never cheated on anyone. I shouldn't have done what I did that night and I know this doesn't justify my actions but I was angry at Eli that night and I wanted to get back at him. It was stupid and I know that now but I learned from it."

"But you still cant stand a cheater?" I asked.

"No. I know what Eli feels like now when Julia cheated on him and I don't know how he took her back so many times." he paused and sighed again. "After you stormed out Alli turned around to look at me and actually tried to lie to my face. Do I really look that stupid? I mean come on!"

"She seriously tried to tell you that it wasn't true?"

"Yep. I would have probably taken her back if she would have confessed and apologize but for her to just stand there and deny it to my face just really pissed me the hell off."

"Wow, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me to. Clare I know how much you loved Eli and I am so sorry that he did that to you."

I could feel a tear escape the corner of my eye. I missed Eli so much but I was so thankful that Drew was here and I wasn't alone. Even if Drew and I weren't as close as me and Adam or Fitz and I, it was still nice to have at least one person here with me.

"I just don't know what to do Drew. I live with Alli and now I have to go to school tomorrow and see him. I have classes with both of them and its just going to be awkward and weird."

"Yeah, just wait until we go to our science class and the four of us get the joy of sitting at the same lab station."

"Oh God!" I groaned not having thought that far.

Drew laughed a real laugh this time and so did I. We sat there for a while longer and talked nonchalantly. We carefully stayed away from any topic that included Love, heartbreak, Eli, Alli, or the rest of our so called friends. So basically that left us talking about food. I looked down at my phone to check what time it was and realized how late it had gotten.

"I need to go to sleep."

"Yeah me to but man its such a long walk home!" he groaned as we stood up.

"I feel so sorry for you! Walking directly across the street must be such a challenge!"

"Shut up." he laughed. "I guess I will see you tomorrow. Shall we conquer it together?"

"Conquer as in getting suspended for beating the shit out of about I don't know, say four people?"

"No! God Clare what has happened to you!"

I just laughed at that fact that I really had changed and people were noticing.

"I will see you in the morning Clare. Good luck in there." he said nodding towards my house where I am sure Alli awaits with her fake ass tears.

"Bye Drew." I said as I turned towards the door.

"Hey Clare?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm here if you need me ok?"

I smiled at him and with assurance spoke the words I would hold on to for as long as I would need them to get through this. "Thanks, its gonna be ok."

Drew then walked his LONG walk home across the street and I giggled as I walked into the door. The lights were all shut off and my parents were asleep in their room. I crept my way up the stairs to my room which from the crack at the bottom of the door I could see the light on. Great, Alli was in my room waiting for me to talk.

I burst through my door and before I seen him sitting there I spoke: "Alli I am really tired and I don't have time for your bullshit so please get out."

It wasn't Alli sitting on my bed, it was Eli; and it broke my already broken heart to see him sitting there crying looking down at his hands.

"Clare we need to talk."

And just like that broken Clare was gone and bitch ass Clare was back. I could here a passiveness in his voice in the way he said it and all the sudden I felt everything just as I did when I was at the party hearing that he had cheated on me.

"No, you need to get the hell out of my room!" I yelled in a whisper.

"Not until we talk. Please Clare."

"Whatever bullshit you want to feed me I don't want to hear."

"I'm not going to bullshit you Clare. I fucked up and I know that. I am so sorry. I love you so much and I don't want to be without you. I need you Clare."

"Just like you needed me that night?"

"Clare come on! I did need you but I was drunk and I didn't want to call you and ask you to come pick me up! I trusted Alli and didn't think it would be wrong to call her."

"It wasn't wrong for you to call her! It was wrong for you to have sex with her when she got there!"

"I did plan on having sex with her!" He stood up from the bed and walked over to me.

"I don't care Eli. The point is that you did."

"Clare I don't have feelings for her. I was drunk and stupid and I know that's no excuse but please I will do anything for you to forgive me. I am undeniably sorry! What can I do for you to forgive me."

He grabbed my hand and extended my arm to place it in the middle of his chest. His other hand caressed my bare arm as he placed sweet kisses on it.

"I cant live without your smile, your kiss.-" placing a kiss on my arm and then my palm. "your arm, or your hands."

"Please Eli don't."

"No Clare, listen. You are mine and I am yours. I love you and you love me. If it takes time to prove to you how sorry I am I will. I will fight forever for you. You mean everything to me!"

"I never meant anything to you if you were so willing to just throw it all away!" I said jerking my hand out of his.

"Clare I didn't want to throw it away!" a tear streamed down his face as he looked at me. He was breaking to and I knew that but this was his fault.

"I love you baby. It cant be over."

My eyes clouded over with tears as I spoke. "Then how come it is?"

Eli's head bowed in defeat; he slowly sank to the floor on his knees and I swear somewhere out in the universe I could hear the something crack and break as I knew his heart was right then.

I walked around Eli and went to sit on the bench at my window. I grabbed a blanket to wrap around me as I pulled my knees to my chin and stared out the window. Rain started to softly tap on my window. Each droplet spilling down my window as if to mimic the tears that were falling down my face. I could see Eli in the reflection of my window; he was still sunk to his knees with his head bowed. I knew he was crying, and I was unsure of what to say to him. This was so hard for me! I wanted to be two different people right now. One that could just forgive and forget but the other to just flat out be a bitch! I don't know what I want anymore.

"Clare, do you know that I love you?" Eli asked softly but still not moving.

"Yes Eli, I know that you love me."

"Then can that not be enough to help us through this?"

Oh God. Why would he have to ask me that. I had to speak honestly and truthfully.

"Yes it can."

I seen his head snap up as he stood and ran over to me. He sat down on the bench across from me. He took my hand in his and kissed it gently.

"I knew we could work it out, I love you so much Clare!" he said leaning forward to kiss me but I pushed him away.

"I said it could but Eli… I won't let it."

"What do you mean?" he asked me brokenly.

"Yes I do love you enough to make it through this but I won't. Right now all I can think about is how you were with Alli one night and then me the next."

"No Clare, please don't think like that!"

"Eli I wont be a girl who gives guys like you a second chance."

"Guys like me?"

"Cheaters." I said blankly.

"Clare I basically didn't cheat!"

I turned my head to him and I got angry. He really doesn't think he cheated? He freaking admitted it!

"How can you say that to me after you admitted that you did?" I almost screamed.

"I was drunk! When you are drunk you do stupid things! I would never have done it had I been sober!"

"So that's your excuse? Tell me Eli if I go really drunk and had sex with someone else would you forgive me?"

"Yes I would."

"Like hell you would! You jumped to conclusions when KC tried to kiss me! There is no way you would forgive me! Eli the point is that you cheated on me and then LIED to me!"

"How many God damn times do I have to apologize?"

"You don't have to anymore because I am done! I want you to leave Eli. We are just not meant to be together."

He stood up angrily and grabbed his coat that was hanging over my lounge chair. Putting it on and backing towards the door he looked at me one last time and gave me a deathly glare.

"We are." was all he said to my statement and he stormed out. I looked out on the street and seen him walk to his home. I removed my self from the window not being able to handle looking out any longer and I went to my bed and laid down.

I began a process to end all of what had happened in the last 3 months. I thought of the first time Eli and I met at The Dot, I thought of the week he wouldn't stop asking me out. I thought about our first kiss and the first time we made love. I remembered those green eyes and sexy smirk. When I knew that I had memorized them forever I locked them away. Tonight would have to be the last night I could think about it. I needed to move on and become my own person now.

By the time I had finally convinced my self to try and go to sleep I noticed the sun was starting to come up over the clouds. My alarm started to go off and now it was time to get ready for school. Well shit now I was going to have to make it through one of the worst days ever pissed off and tired.

I leaned over to my night stand and turned off the alarm. Next to me was my phone, picking it up I seen I had about a billion text from Alli, Adam and Fitz; Delete, Delete, Delete and Delete.

I seen one message that caught my eye not to delete it. One from a number I didn't have saved into my phone but one that I recognized.

"_I had so much fun at your party last night, especially the grand finale! Who knew Eli and Alli had a thing for each other. Xoxo- Evil Bitch (its kind of catchy don't ya think?)"_

Who the hell is this and why do they keep sending me these weird messages! I get the feeling this person does not like me and wants me to suffer. What did I ever do to anyone?

This is all to much.

I went to the bathroom to get ready for the day and thank God Alli wasn't there. I didn't hear her in her room either so she must have at least been smart enough to stay away. I don't have any fucking clue what I am going to do about her! She lives with me, so she is apart of my life everyday. I cant run away from it I have to face it, but it may not be pretty.

Today was not a day to dress up or feel pretty but the hell with that. Eli wanted to cheat on me and damn it he's going to see exactly what he cheated on. He wants to think I am heart broken and my life is gone but I cant show him that. I will show him everything he lost and more.

He took so much away from me last night and he is going to pay. Every broken piece of my heart, every tear escaped and every terrible thought that came across my mind last night he is going to pay in full for it.

Looking through my closet I needed to find a perfect outfit that would be suitable for the weather also. Since I am usually a loose jean not to tight shirt kind of girl I am going to go just the opposite.

I chose the tightest pair of dark blue skinny jeans I could find, then I chose a hot pink shirt that was supper tight and low cut open swoop in the front. It was low cut enough to see my cleavage but not enough to see it all and also long enough to fit over my butt so it wouldn't be to short. I found a cute pair of high heels in the WAY back of my closet that were black opened toed stilettos with a studded strap long ways in the middle. With a black trench coat for warmth outside, my hair in perfect ringlets and my makeup done to perfection I was ready to show Eli what he was missing and also but the Bitch Alli in her God damned place. Ah today would be a fun day.

My parents had already left for this morning and I made my way outside to my car. Listening to some really heavy sound music I pulled into the parking lot of Degrassi and seen Drew standing in my normal parking space with a big grin on his face. He moved out of my way so I could park and then walked to my door and opened it for me helping me out.

"Good morning Clare."

"Hey Drew. Are you ok? Your acting weird."

"I am fine. Just wanted to get you in as good of a mood as I could before we head in there." he laughed.

"Oh."

We started to walk towards the school, I noticed to my left as we passed by the front making our way up the steps, Eli, Fitz, and Adam were all sitting on the benches next to the school sign. They were all staring at me and Drew and whispering. I couldn't help but look over at Eli and see his face so pale and gaunt. Serves you right you bastard.

Walking into the school I noticed that those boys weren't the only ones whispering, everyone was. They were all staring at me and then doing the whole put your hand over the side of your mouth and whisper to your friend next to you thing. Great, now the whole school was talking about me.

"Don't pay attention to it. Only a few more days and then its Christmas break."

"Christmas break? Already, I completely forgot!"

"Wow Clare."

Laughing at myself I made my way to my locker and put my stuff up and grabbed my needed books for my first class which was unfortunately with Alli. I wonder if she is even here.

I took of my black button up trench coat and exchanged it for a nice black half sweater that only covers my arms and breast area. It was just plain but it was really cute and it matched my shoes. I think. I am soooo not good at this.

"Ok I guess I am ready to face the rest of the day." I said turning to Drew so I could say bye. But he was anything but near close to talking. Its was actually really priceless. His mouth was hanging open as he stared me up in down. Interesting, maybe I am good at this.

"Holy shit Clare."

"What? Is it to much?"

"N.. no?" he ended it in a question which made me laugh really hard.

"Drew pick you mouth up off the floor and quit being an ass."

"Oh um, I'm… uh.. Sorry. What's the new get up for?" he asked coming back to reality.

"Well, basically if Eli thinks he can cheat on me and it be ok he is wrong. I am going to make him see exactly what he lost."

"Ok, I get that. I just didn't think you had it in you!"

"Whatever. I will see you later."

"Alright. Later."

I made my way to class and when I walked in the door Alli was there sitting in her desk with her head down. She was deffenitly not the dressed up perky Alli that she normally was. She was wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt with her hair up in a messy bun. Seeing her like this made me so happy that I couldn't help but smile when I walked into the classroom. I all but skipped to my desk; I wanted her and Eli to suffer so I was giddy to see her this upset. Maybe I should take a picture and send it to Drew.

"Oh Alli Good morning! Isn't it just a fantastic day!" I said sarcastically and acting super happy.

She peeked her head up to look over at me. I seen her eyes open wide as she looked at me and what I was wearing.

"You look very pretty Clare." she spoke softly but sounding afraid.

"Yeah I know I do. You look like shit." I paused and put my hand dramatically over my heart. "Oh goodness I'm sorry was that to cruel?"

She sat up straight seeming to get more angry with me. She swallowed back what she was going to say and turned her head towards the front of the class room. I sat down at my desk right in front of her and turned around facing her insisting I keep this up.

"So All's what's the scoop? How are you and Drew?"

"Clare please stop."

"Stop what? Did you guys break up or something?"

"I'm sure you already know."

"Oh yes I do. I just felt like hearing you say it." I said like a real bitch. I noticed people were starting to come into the classroom now and staring at us. Alli was getting tears in her eyes and I enjoyed every fucking bit of it.

"Yes we broke up, you happy now?" she sneered.

"No not really. Why was it that you broke up?"

"Damn it Clare stop it!" she screamed.

"Stop what? Stop asking why it is you and your boyfriend broke up? Or is it that you want me to stop talking to you about how much of a dumb slut you are?"

"You don't have to be such a fucking bitch!" She said standing up in front of me. I followed suit and stood up towering over her in these heels.

"I have every right to be a bitch to you! Am I the only one who remembers what happened last night?"

"Clare I am sorry ok? All I can do is apologize."

"That's not enough for me. You fucking ruined my life and I am going to make damn sure that you pay for it you stupid Bitch."

"CLARE EDWARDS!" Alli stopped dead in her track for whatever response she had built up to me. I had not realized that our teacher had walked into the classroom just then and heard me talking to all like that. Awesome now I get to have detention to.

"Detention now! And apologize to Alli right now."

"Hell no!" I spoke without realizing who I was talking to.

"You will not speak to me or anyone with that kind of language. Head to detention room now, you will be spending all day in there."

"What?" I screamed.

"NOW you are wasting my time."

I grabbed my stuff off my desk, walking past Alli I shoved her with my shoulder and turned my head to her. "This isn't over. Your life will be hell." I whispered quietly.

I made my way out of the classroom and headed to the detention room. I did not want to be in here all day. You have to do homework all day and cant have your cell phone, computer, or any music player. It's pure hell.

I walked into the Class room and checked in with the teacher. I sat down at an empty desk in the back of the room. About 5 more minutes past when I heard the door open abruptly. I looked up to see who was being so noisy and I smiled big when I seen Drew walk in looking pissed. He turned around to find a seat and seen me sitting in the back. He made his way over to me smiling.

"What are you in for Edwards." He whispered quietly.

"Bitch fight with Alli." I laughed as did he. "You?"

"Bitch fight with Eli." I couldn't help but laugh out loud and we both got a scolding from the teacher.

Drew then made me tell him everything from my little fight with Alli and I did. He laughed every time I said I cussed at her, saying that it was funny seeing me cuss because I still looked uncomfortable.

As he began telling me about his fight with Eli, the little light bulb in my head went off. I wasn't really paying attention to his story any more. I was more paying attention to Drew and the way he still seems sad about everything but he is pissed and ready to move on.

Recalling my fight with Alli and how I said it wasn't over and that I was going to make her life a living hell I can tell you that I was completely serious. And now a new thought just entered my mind.

Alli loves Drew and she messed up. Eli loves me and he messed up to. I want them both to suffer and pay for their actions. So in order to make Eli jealous like I want to and to make Alli's life a living hell I need to find the common denominator. What do they both have in common?

Drew.

I smiled to myself as I began to come up with a very new plan, and this new plan involved getting a little romantic with Drew. I don't have feelings for Drew at all, he's a big jock air head sometimes. But it would make Alli go through hell and make Eli super pissed. It's perfect. Drew might get hurt but we were never really that close anyways. One Loss for a big gain would be fine for me and this would be an amazingly huge gain. If I can play this right it would work.

"Drew?" I said as he finished his story.

"Yeah?" Ok time to play sad little innocent girl. I am evil.

"Do you think we could go out tonight? Like watch a movie or go to dinner or something? I don't want to just go home tonight an be alone and cry all night. I need a distraction. Please?"

He looked at me and smiled with no hesitation and said "Of course! Anywhere you want to go."

And just like that my plan was in place. Screw you Alli and Fuck you Eli this is my game now and you are just my pawns.

**So there it is! Chapter 11! Please review and Let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading and I am so sorry for the late update!**

**P.S. I hope you don't mind some of the lines I used from some episodes to fit into my story. It just makes it feel more Degrassi for me lol!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**-MunroInMyChambers**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hey! I have Chapter 12 for you! You all are spoiled! I know I updated late and I felt so bad so I wrote like crazy just to make sure I would have a chapter to post for Saturday! I am so glad you all liked Chapter 11! I was a bit nervous because of the great reviews I got for Chapter 10 and I didn't want to disappoint! So here we are again! I hope you all enjoy chapter 12!**_

_**Disclaimer: Once again I do NOT own anything related to Degrassi. I own only my story!**_

_**Chapter 12: Ship Dare?**_

_**Clare POV**_

_3...2...1_

"_Finally!" I said out loud as the bell rang signaling it was time to go home. I had been in Detention all freaking day and it was driving me insane! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still it sucked. Drew had detention with me and that made it easier. The first half I spent my time trying to get in on his really good side and make sure he trusted me._

_That was just phase one in my mastermind operation. _

_But what was odd was that it wasn't hard for Drew and I to get along. This may be easier than I thought. The teacher started to not care what we did as long as we didn't get him into trouble so Drew and I talked the whole time or passed notes. We talked about random things like our first crush, or our most embarrassing moments. It was funny to learn all these things about him because when you watch him on TV he looks like a big asshole sometimes. I guess that's just good TV._

"_Are we still on for tonight? I need out of the house too, Adam's getting on my last damn nerve." Drew asked as we walked out of the door and heading to our lockers._

"_Yes please! I do NOT want to deal will Ali tonight; this morning was enough for me!"_

"_I can see that! I just wish I had been there to see it! It's crazy how one day you are totally in love with her and then the next day you hate her and want her gone!" Drew said laughing._

_I actually was crazy to me. I guess I thought Drew was the kind of guy who was a player that would always cheat on girls and if someone cheated on him he would understand. But last night with our chat and the multiple conversations we had today proved me wrong. Drew was a real faithful guy to his lady friends and he was one hundred percent against cheating. After everything that happened with Julia it really did change him. All around Drew was actually a real good guy. Too bad I was about to try and be the biggest bitch on the planet and possibly break his kind and sweet heart._

"_I actually have a plan to sort of get rid of her for a while. At least for Christmas break!" I said giving the best sweet smile I could._

"_Oh really and just how are you going to do that? And you are not allowed to say you are going to "Accidentally" kill her." He laughed._

"_Damn!"_

_We both laughed. I didn't really WANT to kill her. I think there might be an evil smirk on my face. Oh lord._

"_Seriously though how do you plan to do that?"_

"_Watch." I smiled as I grabbed my cell phone and looked through my contacts. Clicking on a name I waited as I heard the phone ringing until a familiar voice rang out._

"_Clare! So nice to hear from you!"_

"_Hello Mrs. Bhandari. How is Ali's favorite Aunt doing today?" I spoke into the phone and Drew gave me a questioning look._

"_Oh just fine! What brings you to call me? Is everything ok?"_

"_Oh yes Mrs. Bhandari everything is great! Actually I was calling to talk to you about something. Ali has been hinting around for a couple of weeks about how she misses you all and hasn't gotten to see you much this year. So I thought maybe as a Christmas gift to her you could come get her and take her home to India for Christmas break?"_

_Oh yes, I know I am good. Drew obviously thought this too, he was hardly controlling his laugh and he was grinning from ear to ear._

"_That is a wonderful idea! I will put together the arrangements! You all finish school this week no?" she asked her voice heavy with an accent._

"_Yes we do! That's so great! Now remember it's a surprise so don't tell Alli! See you soon!"_

_I hit end on my phone and looked at Drew who couldn't contain himself anymore. We both burst out laughing right in the middle of the hall way. _

"_See! Now it will be a nice peaceful Christmas holiday!"_

"_I gotta hand it to you Clare, I didn't think you had it in you."_

"_What can I say? I'm turning over a new leaf!" _

_After making a stop at our lockers we began walking out side. I was just putting my coat on when Eli walked over to me. I hadn't seen him all day because of Detention so I hadn't gotten to flaunt myself in front of him. He sure seemed to notice now thought; he was eyeing me up and down taking every single sight of me in. I could tell he was uncomfortable because I normally wouldn't wear anything like this and it was almost as if he wanted to cover me up to protect me from unwanted stares._

"_Can I help you?" I said to him as I watched him stare me up and down._

"_Oh uh… Just I didn't see you all day." he spoke softly._

"_Yeah I had detention."_

"_Detention?" he asked. "You have never gotten detention in your life."_

"_Yeah well I have also never gotten heartbroken because my boyfriend slept with my best friend either, but things just happen I guess." I said sarcastically getting a pained look from him. _

_I didn't want to talk to him anymore so I nudged Drew and started putting on my coat again so we could go out into the frigid cold and snowy weather. I hurried myself along because honestly even though I was trying to be a bitch it was really hard for me. I am still so in love with Eli and I want nothing more than to be with him forever but I just cant. He hurt me and hurt me deep and that's just not something he is going to get away with._

"_Clare wait!" I heard Eli say as Drew and I were entering the parking lot walking to our cars._

"_What do you want Eli! I don't want to talk to you anymore!"_

"_Please Clare, I lov-"_

"_Stop staying you love me over and over again! No you don't Eli! I cant keep doing this with you! I said all I wanted to say to you last night! It's done we are over!" I screamed at him feeling the tears stream down my face._

"_Come on Clare, lets get you away from here." Drew said kindly pulling me into a side embrace to lead me to the car._

"_Get your hands off of her. You really cant stand for me to have anything can you jock boy?" Eli said pushing Drew away._

"_Really? That's what you think this is about! You need to get the hell over yourself and just back off and leave her alone. She doesn't want to see you anymore."_

"_That's not true!" Eli yelled back at him in his face._

"_Yes it is Eli." I said softly, still feeling tears falling down. I guess I just cant be a bitch all the time._

"_Why Clare?"_

"_Eli you Cheated on me! Even if I do want to see you sometime later I just cant right now, You hurt me so much and I just cant deal with it!"_

"_I didn't do anything wrong!" Eli screamed at me. I just stood there staring at him. I was so confused by this. First he admits he did and then last night he says he didn't technically and now he thinks he didn't do anything wrong at all? What is wrong with him._

"_Dude you cant be serious!" Drew said. _

_I could see Ali, Fitz and Adam all walk up behind Drew. Ali looked like she had been crying all day and the other two just looked pissed._

"_Ok yes I cheated and Clare I get that and again I am so sorry! But I was drunk so it honestly shouldn't count. At least I didn't show up to school looking like a total prostitute trying to act like you don't fucking care!"_

_Not the right words to say Eli. Drew pulled back his arm and decked Eli in the face hard. Eli fell back to the ground covering his nose. I wasn't shocked that Drew did that, I was actually kind of glad. _

_Eli stood up bloody nosed and red faced ready to give what he could to beat the shit out of Drew but Adam and Fitz stood in his way. About that time Drew noticed Ali standing to the side. He hadn't seen her since the party and I doubt he was very happy about seeing her now. Ali looked at him and she was crying, while Drew seemed to tense up a little bit. _

"_You asshole." Eli said making Drew stop looking at Ali._

"_No I will tell you who the asshole is. You are the one who cant keep your god damned mouth shut. Don't you dare call her anything like that again! She said she doesn't want to see you anymore so just leave her the hell alone! You two-" He pointed at Eli and then Ali. "Have done enough damage to the both of us. We just fucking found out last night what the hell you two were up to! The least you could do is give us some fucking space!" He finished screaming at the both of them._

"_I'm so sorry Drew." Ali said softly with a cracking voice._

"_Bullshit Ali! If you were really fucking sorry you wouldn't have lied to my face last night!"_

"_How can you be pissed of at her when you are basically being a hypocrite!" Eli said to Drew._

"_Wrong Eli! I didn't fucking have a girlfriend at the time all the shit went down with me and Julia. I have never cheated on anyone and I never will so I wont sit around and be cheated on!"_

"_Drew I didn't want to cheat on you! I don't even remember that night and neither does Eli! I cant even remember how I got drunk!"_

"_That doesn't matter Ali. If you wouldn't have tried to lie to me It would have been different."_

"_Whatever! Quit trying to play all nice here Drew everyone knows what kind of guy you are. You want every girl you see and you always make sure you get what you want."_

"_Playing the field is different than playing girls Eli. You know I am not even sorry anymore about what happened between me and Julia! You took her from me and pay back is a bitch after what you did to me!"_

"_What?" Ali and I both said at the same time. I think Ali and I were both really confused. I thought Drew slept with Ali, Eli got pissed, Julia got pregnant and then said baby was aborted? Man, we all are really meant to be on a reality TV show. Oh and great to know that the camera crew had finally found our little dram fest situation outside and decided to join us. Nice to know the world is going to just love my misery._

"_You mean Mr. Perfect didn't ever tell you Clare?"_

"_No, what are you talking about?" I asked._

"_Shut up Drew." Eli said looking worried._

"_Why should I?" Drew challenged Eli. "You see Clare, Julia was mine first; we dated for about a year during Freshman year until Eli moved to town. Julia and I were happy and in love but then Eli came in and fucking stole her from me."_

"_You are never going to get over that are you?" Eli said like a cocky asshole._

"_You mean I'm never going to get over the fact that a week after we broke up you had Julia get an abortion with my baby and never even told me she was pregnant!" _

_I swear to the holy father I didn't see that one coming! I gasped aloud shocked to hear just the person Eli really was. _

"_Wait, how is that possible?" Ali spoke up, shocked herself._

"_Yeah, Eli was always pissed at you and at the party at my house you apologized to Eli. But you should be mad at him. I am confused." I said._

"_Trust me I am fucking more than mad at him Clare. I was never allowed to be mad at him though except for behind the cameras. The fucking reality show made it look like Eli was the good guy in all this and all I did was sleep with Julia. I was told to play my damn part for the show."_

"_Oh my God." was all I could say. "Eli? Is that true?"_

_Eli looked over at me with a sad expression on his face as he nodded his head "Yes". All the air escaped from my chest as I stared at him, knowing everything he ever told me was based on a lie. Were we even real? Did he really love me?_

"_Why?" I asked him._

"_Clare I was a lot different back then. When I moved here I was going through family shit and I didn't care about anyone but myself. I didn't know Drew but I honestly wouldn't have really cared back then. Julia sparked my interest and I went for it, not caring about who I hurt. When Julia broke up with him and came to me she found out she was pregnant. She was going to leave me and go back to Drew but I was crazy about her and didn't want her to leave me. So I convinced her that Drew would never be with her and he would leave her and that she should get an abortion." He sighed and came to a stop as he remembered the moment. _

"_It was the worst things I have ever done and to this day I wish I could take it back. We never told Drew for a while and he eventually got over Julia and we became best friends. I started feeling like shit about what I had done and I sat down and told Drew one night about what had happened. He hated me and I didn't blame him but I didn't think he would sleep with her and that just pissed me off. I know it wasn't right what I did and I have tried to apologize to him but he never would accept it."_

"_I thought I finally had that night at your house Clare, but after all this other shit with him and Ali it ignited the flame again."_

"_You really aren't the person I thought you were Eli." I said sadly._

"_Please Clare don't let this ruin a chance for us to fix us." Eli responded almost begging._

"_There is no more chance to fix us!" I screamed at him as I turned away to leave._

"_Clare please." he said as he dropped to his knees crying._

"_No Eli. No more. Just stay away from me."_

_I ran to my car, got in and sped away; not even waiting to see what happened or if Drew left. I cant do this! Why is it so hard me to tell him to just stay away from me?_

"_He hurt you Clare!" I screamed to myself. _

_I pulled over to the side of the road and got out of my car. I was by a deserted park, I went and sat on one of the swings and just slowly started to rock back and forth._

"_But I love him." I said to myself in response to my out burst earlier in my car._

_I started crying over everything that has happened in only two days. Yesterday I was the happiest I had ever been. In love and with the most amazing guy. Then disaster struck and my whole world falls apart. Eventually I would have forgiven Eli and I know he would have been right there to make sure he could prove himself faithful and trust worthy to me again; and I would have let him. But now, I find out that everything he had ever told me had been based off of a lie. How can I be so sure that he ever truly loved me. _

_The swing started to go a little faster and then I felt someone start to push me. I turned my head to see Drew standing there giving me a small smile._

"_Sorry I got a little cocky back there." He said._

"_It's ok I understand. I just cant believe it."_

"_Yeah its been a rough couple of years." he said coming to sit down on the swing next to me._

"_Drew I don't know what to do."_

"_What do you mean?" he asked softly._

"_I want so badly to be so mean to him and make him hurt for hurting me. I dressed like this today to piss him off and that's not like me. I got a detention and that's not something that normally happens to me. I wanted to get back at him by using you but that's not like me either."_

"_You were going to use me?" he said sounding a little hurt._

"_Yes, I'm sorry. I was just so angry with what happened with Ali and then my trying to hate Eli that I wanted to do something to get back at the both of them, But I cant do that. I don't want to hurt you and I'm sorry I even thought about it." I said looking over at him. _

_Drew smiled at me as he started swinging a little faster. "It's ok, I understand. You were really different today and I could see it. I knew that it was the whole situation but you starting to come back to the old Clare."_

"_Maybe just a little." I smiled at him. "But I am still getting rid of Ali for Christmas break."_

_He laughed and so did I. It felt good to laugh without feeling like I have to try so hard to make him think I am a big bitch or try so hard to get him to trust me or like me. This was a natural thing._

"_I think I just want to move on. I love Eli with everything I have but something's just weren't meant to work out. Being with him is just to much and I don't think it can ever be the same now."_

"_Yeah, same here with Ali, but it sucks though."_

"_I know," I sighed. _

"_Well on the bright side we still have a fun night out on the town to take our minds off of everything!" He said standing up and reaching out for me to take his hand. _

"_Oh that's right! Where to Mr. Torres?" I asked letting him help me up._

"_It's a surprise." He smile as we started walking to his car._

_My phone vibrated In my pocket and out of habit I reached for it. It wasn't Eli, Ali, Adam, or Fitz. It was the damn number again and this time it really creeped me out._

"_Have fun on your date with Mr. Torres tonight, but be careful. R U sure you know everything about him? Xoxo ; )"_

"You coming?" Drew said from the drivers seat. I was standing outside of the car staring at my phone.

"Oh yea." I smiled getting into the car. As we drove off I looked around to see if anyone was around. How did the know I was going anywhere with Drew?

As we left the park I looked over to where we were swinging and I saw a person sitting on the same swing that I was.

Julia.

**There is Chapter 12! I know its shorter than the others! But I needed it to be! Hope you enjoyed! Love you all!**

**-MunroInMyChambers-**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello again! Thank you so much for your amazing reviews! I love that you all are liking my story! I hope you all are ready for Chapter 13! I am posting today because I am not sure I can on Saturday though I will try my super hardest!**

**Warning: This Chapter may be a bit depressing.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything related to Degrassi! I own only my story.**

**Chapter 13 Part 1: December never ends.**

**NOTE: There are two parts to this chapter and it is all included here but the reason for 2 parts is because of a personality change…. JUST SAYIN!**

**Clare POV**

To say my life is perfect would be wrong; to say my life is different would be an understatement; and to say my life is everything I ever wanted it to be; that would be a lie.

It's been six months since I lost everything on that cold December evening. Six months that I have tried to go on living and pretending that nothing is wrong. Acting like I have truly recovered from such a heartbreak. That's how it seems from the outside at least; To everyone it seems as though I moved on and forgot the only person I had ever truly loved. It's as though he never existed and I was at a happier time in my life; but I knew better.

No one could see my guarded heart that was protected by a shield that only one person could break through. No one could see the pain and hurt I feel because he isn't here with me. And no one could see how much I wished I could end my life because I would rather die than live another day without his kiss.

The long winter had passed, and the spring had dragged on; but nothing prepared me for the lonely summer I had ahead. I wasn't lonely without company, I was lonely without true love.

I had spent the rest of my junior year at Degrassi Community School just acting as though I was ok. I had eventually come to terms that I would never be with my true love again but that never made it any easier. I focused on my studies, I got a part-time job after school working at The Dot which was a big mistake. Every time I walk through the door I look to the corner of the room and see that first night we met play out before me. Every smirk, every wink and every laugh consumes my every thought and tortures me. It kills me because I have learned to store all those memories in the back of my mind hidden under lock and key but they keep oozing out the sides when ever I am in a place of memories.

I made the mistake of going down to the docks a few months ago. I thought it would bring some sort of closure or comfort but I was beyond wrong. I laid down on the docks for hours and cried until I fell completely numb; I couldn't move or speak. All I could do was lay there and be trapped in my memories of him. I was screaming inside; screaming his name but no one would ever hear me.

After the day I had found out everything that went on between Eli and Drew, Eli had chosen to respect my wishes and he stayed away. God I hated myself for telling him that. He never calls, never texts, tweets, IM's, nothing. He has disappeared. I never even see him at school and I know its because he purposely keeps a distance.

The sad thing is all of this I just told you is all happening inside me. No one knows the real and sad pathetic life I live. I am happy and fine on the outside but on the inside I am dying daily.

It took a few months for me to prove to people that I was "Over It." It was all a lie but that wasn't what mattered. I had chosen to move on and that was what I was doing.

I spent the rest of the school year with Drew at my side. He was my now best friend and I was his. He never spoke to Ali any more and neither did I. We only spoke to each other when it was necessary. I didn't so much as hate her anymore as I was just sad that this had all happened.

Ali had went away for Christmas break like I had planned and she was a bit mad but then I didn't care. I got to have two weeks of just me time and it was time that I did most of my healing.

Drew was unbelievably supportive and I don't know what I would do without him. He truly is my best friend and rock. We have so much fun together, it isn't enough to take the pain away or even numb it into silence, but he is unaware.

After that night I got the crazy text and seen Julia in the park she disappeared. I went to school the next day to confront her and ask her what she was doing but she wasn't there. She had went missing or as they call it runaway. Devin had left to and it was the same time she was gone so I put two and two together. Her parents were a bunch of losers and didn't really care so they said if she wanted to run away she could.

I didn't really care either. I had stopped getting the weird text messages and the drama in my life was gone. I was now able to live in peace if only that were possible.

"There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you! I should have know you would have been in this same damn spot!" I heard Drew say from beside me.

I was sitting on the ground at a park nearby my house. There was a small unbothered creek in the back edge of the park. I usually come here to think or most times sulk in my unknown to the world misery.

"I am in this spot everyday and you still haven't figured out to look here first?" I said smiling the best fake smile I could.

"I know, I know. Ok so we have been on summer break for like 3 weeks and we have yet to have some crazy fun!" He exclaimed.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked skeptically.

"Well that is one big ass secret!"

"Oh no that means its going to be awful!" I sighed playfully.

"Is not! Tonight we are going to have some fun!"

"Yes sir!" I said giving my best salute.

"Go home and get changed and I will be there in an hour."

So I did just that. I went home and changed into some nicer clothes even though I had no idea what to expect, Drew was all about surprises. I hade been in my daze of going through the motions like I do everyday that I didn't even notice, exactly one hour later to the second my door bell rang and Drew was invited in. Ali stayed in her room not wanting to see Drew, I knew she was still heartbroken too. We said our good byes to my parents and off we went.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"How would it be a surprise if I told you?" He smiled charmingly.

"You and your surprises." I laughed.

In a few minutes we were pulling off to the side of the road in the middle of down town Toronto. He led me to a building, up the many stairs and finally to his surprise.

"Oh my God!" I gasped as he pulled me onto the very top of one of the highest buildings in the city.

On the top of this building it was like someone's private escape villa. It was beautifully decorated with flowers and plants. There were lounge chairs and couches waiting to be sat on. But the most beautiful things was indeed Drew's surprise. There was a pool in the center of the space and it had been covered with a sheet of glass. Upon the glass was a lounge chase that you could sit on a look up at the stars, and a table with food next to it. It was beautiful but looked relaxing and inviting.

"_It's nothing compared to your picnic on the little island with Eli." _My mind told me.

"_Stop it."_ I said to myself inaudibly.

This is beautiful. I could tell Drew worked incredibly hard on this. He has worked incredibly hard on me for the past six months making sure I am still in one piece. Little did he know I was slowly breaking apart everyday.

"You like it?" He asked taking me away from my random thoughts.

"Yes! It's amazing. No one has ever done anything like this for me before!" I squealed.

"_You liar. Eli did things better than this for you all the time."_

"_No! Stop!" _I told myself again.

"Awesome!" Drew said happy to know he had accomplished something great for me.

We spent the next few hours gazing at the stars, eating and talking about everything. It was comfortable with Drew and that I could be happy for. It was easy to talk with him and be around him. Not as easy as it was before with _him_ but I have to keep my mind away from thoughts like that.

"Do the cameras have to be around tonight?" I whispered into Drew's ear.

He nodded. " I asked them not to but they said I had to film tonight. I'm sorry."

I shrugged my shoulders and went back to our conversations. Eventually we grew quiet, as did the city. People were going home to see their families, and some were going home by them selves. We laid there peacefully without interruptions so it's not like I should have been shocked with what happened next.

I felt Drew lift my chin up and bring my lips to his. He brushed his lips softly across mine with just a gentle kiss. It was a sweet, and beautiful kiss but it wasn't right.

"Drew." I said pushing him back lightly.

"Don't worry the camera crew will leave soon." he said.

He then attacked my lips again and this time with a little more force. Giving me sweet kisses and guiding his hand to cup my face in his palms. Playing my part, I kissed him back, without heart.

I felt his hand slid from my face to my sides as he rolled me over and was towering above me in a matter of seconds. I broke the kiss to stare up at his face. He was smiling sweetly and lovingly down upon me.

"Drew…" I mumbled at him.

"What?" He asked sarcastically as he began to kiss my neck and then behind my ears.

"Please stop." I said quietly.

"Why?" He said sarcastically again thinking I was playing a game with him.

He made his was to my shoulder, pushing my shirt to the side as he began sucking on the skin there. Biting, nipping, licking and sucking; making his marks on my skin.

"_Is that really his skin to mark?"_ my mind was telling me.

"No." I spoke out loud answering my mind and Drew had heard it. He leaned up looking down at me asking me a million questions with his face.

"I cant… I'm sorry."

He got angry and I could tell. He sat up and walked away from our comfortable spot.

"Why Clare?" He said turning around to face me. I looked into his face, a beautiful face really.

"Why is it that you don't want to?"

"I… I just… I just cant." I said and then mumbling a half hearted "Sorry."

"Damn it Clare we have been dating for 5 months and you still wont be with me!" He yelled.

I bowed my head in defeat at his true words.

Yes, Drew and I have been dating technically for the past five months but for me, in reality it only feels like two weeks and I am just getting to know him. When he expressed his feelings for me in the beginning I jumped at the chance of having someone be able to distract me from my pain. Little was I aware of that it would make it worse.

"It's because of him isn't it? Because of Eli?" he said sadly.

"No." I lied.

"You're a terrible liar Clare." He said with a smile.

He came over to me still sitting on the couch and kneeled in front of me. He placed his hand on my cheek and tried to rub soothing circles around my it.

"_His hands aren't as soft as Eli's." _I said to myself.

"You aren't mad at me?" I asked, confused. He smiled at me and leaned up to kiss my forehead.

"No, I'm not angry. I understand Clare. It takes time and I am not here to rush you into anything. You are with me and that's all that matters."

I smiled at him, thankful that he isn't angry with me. I had to learn to get passed my set backs like this, because I cant stand to hurt Drew. He is the only person in my life right now that I feel actually cares. He wants me and is here for me and I need to do the same for me.

"Just give me a little more time okay?" I said nicely.

He nodded his head and smiled sweetly.

"I can handle time."

**Chapter 13 ****Part 2****: Clare is that you?**

_**2 Months Later**_

"No, no no!"

I was scrambling around my house trying to get ready for the first day of school. It was the first day of my senior year and I was about to be late.

Going through my closet looking through my new clothes trying to find something good to wear. Being Senior year I had to make a good impression if I was going to make this year a kick ass one.

Dressed and ready I made my way downstairs where Drew was patiently waiting. Walking up to him I place a small passionate kiss on his perfect lips loving the way they feel against mine. Drew and I had been inseparable this summer and I guess you could call it a summer love. We spent everyday laughing, kissing and just enjoying each other; whether it be on the beach or just sitting on my couch watching TV.

He was so sweet, amazingly kind and completely in love with me and I with him. The summer had started off a bit rocky and weird but I can hardly remember why. I cant imagine myself not falling for this sexy and muscular man.

"It's about damn time! We are going to be late if we don't go!" He said wrapping his arms around me and lightly groping my ass from behind.

"Screw Senior year lets go upstairs." I said smiling as I kissed him again, this time letting my tongue trace his bottom lip.

"God Clare that's not a fair game to play!" he said in between our kiss.

"Fine lets go." I smirked and pulled him out the front door.

"You little tease."

It was this kind of banter that had us joking all the way to school. Holding hands, laughing, kissing and being in each others presence was what we lived for.

"So I have to ask, don't get mad." he said while opening my door of the car and helping me out.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Has Ali made it back yet? You said you talked to her a few weeks ago and things seemed to start being ok with you all again."

"She wont be back until tomorrow but things are getting better. We just need to talk some more you know?" I said sweetly putting my arms around his waist as his right arm wrapped around me and his hand rested on my side.

He nodded his head and we made our way into the school. It was a brand new year and I was going to start it off right. I didn't want anymore drama, fights, or problems between old friends. I wanted to make peace, make things right. I was a happy person and all this dumb fighting was stupid.

"Hey, I need to ask you something now." I said looking at Drew as we found our new lockers.

"Ok?" he said in response.

"Ok, so I was thinking that I didn't want to have any enemies this year and since Ali and I are on speaking terms again, I thought about making peace with-"

"No." He cut me off and stared a hard look into my eyes. I think it actually burned.

"You are not going to talk to Eli or any of them. I had a hard enough time letting you talk to Ali. So no." He looked at me waiting for my response.

"Yes Drew." I said with a smile and my heart leapt when he smiled back at me.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly since it was the first day of school. Classes weren't to difficult and I had everyone of them with Drew. Somehow he had managed to have us together in each class and the _others_ weren't in any of ours. He is so protective of me and its incredibly sweet.

At the end of the day was the hardest; Drew had football practice and I wasn't allowed to be there for that. Separation was the hardest for me. I didn't want to leave him at the end of the day.

"I got to go Clare." He laughed as he was removing himself from him pinning me against the lockers in a breath taking kiss.

I gave him a sad face with my lip sticking out. He kissed me goodbye and went to practice. I was told to wait until he was finished so we could go do something together. He didn't want me going home by myself so I went to the courtyard and sat down at a table to read a book. The wind was blowing softly and the sun was beaming down on my skin, making it glow a golden color. I closed my eyes a moment and just basked in the beautiful sun and empty sounds full of nothing but the wind.

"You know someone could steal your stuff real quickly with you sitting here with your eyes closed and all."

I let out a little yelp, of fear as I opened my eyes to see Fitz standing in front of me.

"You just scared the crap out of me!" I said.

"Sorry Clare bear." He laughed and sat down in front of me.

"Don't call me that." I responded automatically.

"What? Why? I have always called you that." He said confused.

"That's not my name." I said getting a bit annoyed.

He raised his hands in defense and mumbled out a sarcastic "Sorry."

I started gathering my things; I needed to get away from him before Drew came out of practice. He wouldn't like me talking to him after this morning when he said not to.

"I have to go." I said as I stood up.

"Wait where are you going? I was going to see if you wanted to hang out tonight?" he asked me as if nothing had ever happened.

"I cant." I said and turned to walk away.

"Clare! Wait, why not?" he said running in front of me.

"I have to work." I lied.

"You still aren't very good at lying." he smiled at me and I glared right back.

"I have to go now please move out of my way."

"Ok fine what about tomorrow?"

"Cant, sorry."

"The next day?"

"NO Fitz I cant ok just drop it!" I yelled really annoyed now. I walked briskly up the stairs heading for the practice field so I could be in Drew's line of sight just in case.

"Why are you blowing me off? Ali said you wanted peace?"

"I do." I responded quickly. Oh no I shouldn't have said that. Drew would be mad.

"Then why are you ignoring me?"

"I am not suppose to talk to you." I said walking a little faster.

"Says who?"

"That's none of your business, now please leave me alone."

I walked past him and made it to the practice field just as they were finishing. Drew winked at me and then went to shower up and change. I waited by the field on the bleachers by myself. It felt like forever when I could hear the boys coming out of the locker rooms. Drew was a lot closer than I had anticipated.

"Clare do you want to tell me why in the hell Fitz just came up to me and got in my face about not letting you talk to him?"

Drew yelled from the side of the bleachers. I snapped my head to look at his very angry face; his fists were clenched as he usually did when something made him mad. I opened my mouth to speak but I didn't know if I should yet.

"CLARE!" He yelled at me.

"I'm ss… sorry. I was just sitting in the court yard and he came up to me and wouldn't leave me alone. Please don't be mad at me, I told him to leave but he wouldn't. I love you." I said feeling a tear come to my eye. Please don't be mad Drew Please!

"Come here." he said sweetly smiling at me. Good that meant he wasn't mad or if he was I was forgiven. My heart overflowed with joy knowing it was all ok.

He was just overly protective trying to make sure they didn't hurt me again. I went over to him and he wrapped his arms around me placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you to." he whispered back to me. "It's ok. I know Fitz can be an ass. I just want to make sure they aren't bothering you and hurting you again. That's why you shouldn't ever be around them."

"Yes Drew, I understand." I smiled at him.

"Ok I am going to go get the car, I will be right back." He said giving me a tight hug.

"Drew I can walk over there with you." I said blushing at his kindness.

"No way babe! You are to sexy to have to walk all the way over there! I will be right back, promise!" I nodded and watched him Jog away from me.

"Clare?" I heard a quiet whisper from behind me.

I spun around quickly, yelping yet again at being scared. What was with everyone scaring me today! When I got my ground to see who had snuck up behind me this time I was a bit shocked to say the least to see Julia standing there in front of me; looking very different I might add.

"Julia? What the heck are you doing here?" I said. She grew very timid and looked to the ground. This wasn't the same Julia that I swear last year was trying to ruin my life. Trying to take everything away from me.

"_What would Drew say about you thinking of last year?" _I head the voice in my head say. How could I be so stupid. Clare Rule number one: Never think about last year!

"I came back home."

"Well that's unfortunate for me." I said nastily to her.

"I need to tell you something." She spoke suddenly and looked up at me. " You need to listen to me." When she looked at me I could see just how different she truly looked. She had heavy bags under her eyes which have seemed to have lost their color. She was very pale and skinny, not the beauty (yes I will admit she used to be pretty) that she had once been.

"Actually I don't have to listen to you and I don't want to." I said snottily and turned my back to her.

"Clare I am serious. You need to watch out." She said. Something in me stirred that got scared but I through that away quickly. Drew taught me to be strong and not get scared easily.

"Get lost Julia. I am not going to listen or believe anything you say."

"I know you have no reason to believe me but I am being one hundred percent honest Clare. You cant trust Drew." She spoke those words and I instantly turned back around to face her. How dare her.

"Excuse me? I trust Drew with my life!" I spat at her.

"Don't."

"Julia you are full of shit go away." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Clare please you have to listen to me." she begged. "Drew isn't this charming and perfect guy that he used to be. He is different now! You need to get away from him."

Now she was really pissing me off. Drew would be back any second to pick me up and I did not want to have another fight with him. I was also not going to let her say this shit about Drew.

"Listen to me Julia you don't know anything. Stop trying to ruin other people lives just because you cant have everything. You and Drew are done and he is with me now and we are perfect together. You don't deserve someone like him, you are a bitch." I said to her.

"I know and I deserve whatever you want to call me. I have been nothing but nasty and bitchy to you. I tried to ruin everything for you and I am sorry. But I didn't come here for your forgiveness. I need to tell you something and you have to believe me please can we just go somewhere private and talk?"

"Absolutely not! Now go away and leave me alone."

"I will keep trying Clare just now that." She said as she started to back away the opposite direction. I could hear Drew's car coming and it was getting closer.

I started walking to a suitable spot where Drew could pick me up.

"Just one last thing Clare."

"God you are so annoying. What is it?" I said sarcastically.

"Devin's back." She said and she walked away.

My eyes had grown wide and my mouth had gone dry. I had long forgotten about him and the past life that I had. Drew was my new beginning and all that old stuff just faded away.

"You ready babe?" I heard Drew call from behind me. I turned to see that beautiful smile and handsome face looking at me with all the love and affection someone could manage.

I smiled back at him as I walked to my side of the car. I looked back to the direction of where Julia and I were talking and she was gone. I looked around and didn't see her anywhere. She was just really weird and creepy.

Devin probably wasn't even really in town. I smiled to myself and rolled my eyes. Damn bitch is back to playing her old tricks again. I need to be careful or else I could fall into that trap.

As I got into the car and Drew slammed on the gas my phone vibrated. Looking down in my lap to see what it was I came across a familiar unsaved number on my screen.

"_Hey love, Just one thing to say. This bitch is back." _

I looked up from my cell phone out of instinct and turned to look at the edge of the foot ball field as we pulled out of the parking lot.

Julia was standing there facing the car.

Her long black hair hanging over her face she looked up at me and shook her head.

Oh shit.

**There is Chapter 13! **

**To clear up any confusion. The reason there is two parts is because as you can see Clare has gone through a personality change and I think I made it very clear as to why. Drew. **

**Review and leave me your thoughts!**

**Till next time.**

**-MunroInMyChambers-**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello hello! We meet again and according to Twitter ( follow me DegrassiAddict_ ) and your reviews you all seem to be very confused! And that was what I was going for! It makes it all a surprise! Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! It puts a smile on my face and makes me eager to begin the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy Chapter 14 and I think you will be a least a little happy for what is to come…**

**Disclaimer: Once again I do not own Degrassi yada yada yada.. I own only my story!**

Chapter 14: Clare 1 meet Clare 2.

Guess who's back….

**Eli POV:**

Today my life consisted of nothing more than a dark black hole surrounding me. I let the darkness consume my every thought for it is the only thing that made movement in my life. I was a person full of empty thoughts in a mindless body.

I no longer lived for anything but the simple thought that one day I would die, and I would be happier. The only reason I still existed today was because I hold on to some of the last words she spoke to me: "_Even if I do want to see you sometime later I just cant right now…"_

I held onto those words with every cell of my being that possibly can. I know that I should not put to much into those words seeing as it has been almost a year since I have seen her; but I love her to fucking much to just give up so easily.

It looks like I have given up but I never have. She said she didn't want to see me and I respected that. Its been ten fucking months and I have still respected it! I don't want to be away from her but I love her enough that if she asks me of anything, no matter how much it hurts I will do it.

What makes this all worse is I know how much I am hurting my friends. I hardly see Adam anymore, Fitz and I never talk and I absolutely don't speak to Ali. Not because I hate her but if there is ever a chance for me to get Clare back I cant risk it by being friends with Ali.

There is only one obstacle standing in my way and that mother fucker's name is Drew Torres. He stole her from me and I am God damn sure he did it on purpose. He knew Clare was mine and how much I loved her so he played us all and took her. If only she could see what he has done to her. I may have been staying away from her like she asked but don't think I am not hidden in the shawdows. I don't trust him to not hurt her, and even if she hates my guts I will always protect her innocence.

I am sitting in my class at Degrassi doing my usual routine of just blankly living life out day to day, but today it not a day I can handle it. Today is the day that I Eli Goldsworthy wants to break down in a sobbing fit; because Today is One year since Clare and I began our relationship.

"Mrs. Dawes I need some air." was all I spoke as I ran out of the class room, and out side to the court yard where I sat down on the steps, head in my arms over my knees and began to cry.

**Clare POV**

"_You look beautiful." _

_I looked up and smiled at his loving words; staring into those Green eyes that seem to capture my every breath, movement or word._

_As we lay in the grass of a vacant field just looking up at the blue sky above I cant help but feel totally content with my life. I am at a state of pure bliss and happiness. I am with the most amazing guy I had ever met and I love him beyond measure. I could never picture myself with anyone other than him. We were soul mates, as cheesy as that sounds. I knew that our lives together would be joined eternally forever; walking down the same path as one. _

_Even being a teenaged girl I could picture myself one day shopping for wedding dresses with my mom, walking down the aisle with my dad, or even being pregnant with his child. These may sound like silly things of the future but to me they were my dreams._

_As if reading my mind he turns to me laying on his side with his hand holding his head up and asks "Where do you see us in 5 years Clare?" I smile at his random question._

"_That's a loaded question."_

"_That's not an answer." he said with his usual smug smirk on his face._

"_Can I say "Pass"? I teased._

"_No you cant! Seriously, where do you see us?" _

"_I don't know what we will be doing but I hope whatever it is we are together."_

"_No hope Clare, we __will__ be together. I could never live without you."_

"_Yes you could." I said letting my feeling of not being good enough for him seep through. _

_He leaned over me and began to just stare into my eyes. His lips parted slightly as if he was looking at the most magnificent piece of art. He slowly began to lower his lips where they met my waiting ones. The kiss was not a sexual one, nor was it a passionate one._

_It was a kiss of pure and forever lasting love between to people. It was innocence, and bliss. It was undying love._

"_I love you with no conditions, Clare Edwards." He said breaking the sweet embrace between us. _

"_And I love you the same, Elijah Goldworthy." I smiled as I spoke every word from the bottom of my heart._

_I closed my eyes and basked in the love I felt beaming off of him. He made me feel so special and wanted, like nothing could ever break us._

"_Eli?" I said after a moment of silence. I looked into those eyes that were not as green as they just were a few minutes past. The color in those eyes were not green, but they were black. His skin was no longer a nice light tan color, but it was pale white. And his face no longer held the adoring look he held but a moment ago. This face was a face of sorrow and sadness._

_I sat up in my place in the field where I noticed the grass was no longer there either. I was sitting in the middle of a desert with nothing around me but air. _

"_Eli what's wrong? What happened?"_

"_Why Clare?" he asked me in a voice that did not sound like his own._

"_Why what Eli? What's going on?" I ask him confused._

"_Why did you leave me?" _

"_I didn't leave you Eli! I am right here where I have always been." I said trying to touch him but when I do my hand goes through him. Almost like he is a ghost._

"_Why did you leave me?"_

"_Stop saying that Eli! You are scaring me!" I screamed feeling hot tears start to force themselves from my eyes._

"_I love you, Clare. Please come back to me." _

"_What are you talking about? ELI!" I screamed his name as he disappeared from me. I looked everywhere screaming his name over and over again but I couldn't find him anywhere._

"_ELI! WHERE ARE YOU!"_

"_ELI! ELI!"_

"ELI!" I screamed out loud, my body jerking up in surprise. I find myself laying down in the nurses office on one of those uncomfortable half bed's.

My chest was heaving in and out from breathing as hard as I ever have. I was sweating, and tears were pulling down my face. What was that dream about? It seemed so real, like I had been there before. Why now after all these months am I dreaming about him?

"Are you alright sweetheart?" I heard the nurse say from her desk outside the room.

"Yes I am fine. I just need some fresh air,"

I got off of the bed and ignoring the nurse walked out of the room. My head was spinning but not because I was dizzy, because of the dream. I kept replaying over and over in my head. It's been so long since I have even thought about him let alone dream about him. I was a wreck after that day I choose to forever forget.

I was a broken down, and pathetic little baby, all because some dumb ass broke my heart and left me. But then that's when Drew came along, swept me off my feet and fixed me. I wouldn't speak to anyone, I wouldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. Drew saw what effect it was having on me and helped me though. I was once completely in love with Eli but I was also devastated from the hurt he had caused.

I had learned to forgive Eli, but I had also learned to forget him.

"_Did you honestly think you could forget me?"_

I stopped dead in my tracks as I was passing though the hall ways of Degrassi.

I didn't just? No, that wasn't? I am officially crazy.

I looked around where I was and seen no one. How is it possible I just heard his voice in my head. No I didn't, that's impossible. Shaking my head a few times to clear it away I begin walking down the hallway again. I needed to get out of here.

Why was I dreaming about him? It just doesn't make any since. I have to pull my self together. Its all Julia's fault right? Clare, get your shit together! This isn't happening. Having this dream is making me think to much. Eli. No Clare don't go there. Eli. NO Clare stop this. The dream why is it so familiar. Eli. STOP!

What was happening to me? Why was I rambling on about this!

I walked faster as I made my way outside into the courtyard. I sat myself down on the steps and just took a big breath. I needed to calm myself down, my head was hurting from all of this

Damn, Julia and her creepy sayings to me. Its all her damn fault that I am having these crazy thoughts! But this is what Julia does, she gets into your head and messes with you. I was perfectly happy yesterday and in love with Drew and now everything is fucked up!

I needed to go get Drew, being around him always helped me calm down. I got up from my spot and when I stood up I looked across the courtyard and my heart stopped. All this time, all these months I haven't seen him, or talked to him. But there he was standing there staring at me with tears rolling down his face.

"Eli?" I spoke softly but audibly.

**Eli POV**

I hadn't heard her come outside, all I could hear were my thoughts reeling as I sat out here in the courtyard and remembered things about her.

Remembering her soft curls and how they felt brushing against my cheeks when she would let me embrace her with my arms. The feel of her touch as she would hold my hands or brush her lips across my own. Doing this makes it harder to live without her but it was all I had.

One year ago today in this very courtyard I had sang to her and made my promise to her come true, I made her mine.

"DAMN IT HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!" I screamed.

Standing up, I kicked the trash can on the top step over in my rage. How could I have been so stupid to have treated her like that. I became possessive, and over protected and then the worst possible thing I could have done was cheat on her! I loved her with everything I have but yet I was able to throw it all away in one night with a girl that meant shit to me!

I am such a fucking hypocrite! I got angry at Julia so many times for cheating on me and then when the tables were turned and I was finally happy I did the same thing! Clare didn't deserve that! God it hurts so much just to think of her name. I live my life every fucking day miserable to my core! I am nothing without her! I would do anything to have her back with me; if that meant confessing of my sins in front of a church I would do it, just for her. If it meant getting rid of my precious hearse Morty, for her I would do it. I would fucking lay down my life and die for her if she asked me to! I know I deserve this shit but I cant bear it anymore. I have waited almost a fucking year for her, with no fight for her because I knew that's what she wanted but I cant do it anymore.

"Eli?"

I hadn't even noticed I was staring directly at her until she spoke my name. I was so used to never seeing her so close I thought it was a figment of my own imagination that she was only a few feet away from me. I want so badly to run to her and hold her, kiss her and love her; but I cant. Its so fucking hard!

I didn't know what to do. She wanted me out of her life and I had done that but can I really just walk away right now?

"Clare." I said her name with uncertainty.

She stood there not knowing what to do, and I could understand why.

She doesn't look like the same Clare I love and know. This is a different Clare; her face doesn't have the soft innocent look it always had, she doesn't carry a confidence in her self anymore. She seems afraid; please don't let her be afraid of me.

I didn't know if I should but I wasn't controlling it. My feet started to walk before I could tell them not to. My body just knew that what it needed to heal, was only a few step away. My arms wanted to embrace her, my lips wanted to kiss her, and my heart just wanted to lover her.

"I should go." She said suddenly.

"Wait.." I could barely speak. Please don't leave me again Clare. "Can we just talk?"

She seemed to ponder the question for a few seconds but shook her head no. My heart was breaking even more if that were possible. Just to hear her voice right now and see her was giving me the strength I needed to fight with.

"I can't I'm sorry I have to go." She said as she spun around and ran away.

"No…" I whispered but she couldn't hear me.

Please Clare come back to me, I need you.

"Don't let her go to far Eli, you have to help her."

I quickly turned around to find Julia and Fitz standing behind me. Julia looked awful and Fitz looked well, pissed as usual. I haven't seen him in so long and it was great to see him but Julia was not a person I cared to see. This was all her fault.

"Not now Julia." I said with as much strength as I could.

"Listen to me Eli, you need to help her." She said to me.

"I don't have time for your bull shit Julia, you are the one who got me into this mess in the first place." I said calmly.

"Yeah man but if you listen to her she might be able to help you out of this mess, and get Clare back."

That was all I needed to sit down and listen to what she had to say, even if I didn't believe anything she told me. Anything that had to do with Clare, I would listen to and later I was glad I listened to this.

**Ugh I'm sorry if you hated it! I hated it! It needed to happen though to bring Eli back in! Please tell me what you think even if you don't like it! I'm sorry if there are any errors, I didn't have spell check! ****L**

**Review!**

**-MunroInMyChambers-**


	15. Chapter 15

_**So I couldn't resist! I was so thinking you all would hate chapter 14 and no one did so now all my special little readers get a treat! Another chapter! I must say I am super excited that you are all confused because it makes it more suspenseful! I hope you enjoy Chapter 15!**_

_**Also! I would like to introduce you to my new Beta Reader! I am so freaking excited because I'll be honest I had no clue what a Beta Reader was! LOL! But anyways ladies and Gents please welcome Alyx-withay (applause) Be good to her!**_

_**Hiii everyone! Just figured while I was editing this chapter I would drop a quick hello… -Alyx**_

_**Chapter- 15 What the hell?**_

_**Clare POV:**_

_Running as fast as I can I find myself fleeing from the school grounds. Everything I had worked for in the past few months had been shattered and was now laying on the ground beneath me. I refuse to let myself fall back into his trap, Drew has taught me better than this. _

"_Why does everything have to be what Drew says." _His voice calls out to me again.

"STOP IT!" I scream out loud even though no one can hear me.

This is not happening right now! Why do I feel like everything is changing? Nothing is changing; I just had a terrible dream and seen Eli afterwards. A coincidence yeah maybe, but not important none the less. This is just a bump in the road I would have to overcome.

"_Why did you leave me?"_ I kept hearing his voice say over and over again. In the dream it scared me but now it was even worse. I didn't leave him, he left me! I think.

I was still running when I got to the park close to my house. The park I used to come to everyday to sit and think. It's a place that I rarely visit anymore; it was a place I would spend my days wallowing in my own grief and I didn't need it anymore. I was passed all of my grief and standing on a higher level of confidence in myself.

In the few minutes that pass I find my self sitting on that same rock I had sat on many times before. I sit down and looked into the stream of water flowing freely down its pre destined path. Looking into the water I see my reflection, and oddly enough I see my life. I see every memory I have from my child hood, teenage years and my life as it is now. But what startles me is the girl I see staring back at me; she isn't the girl I always thought I was. Her curls no longer held a beautiful crisp auburn bounce, her cheeks don't get that annoying bright red blush, and her eyes seem a shade darker of blue. There is no life in this girl, no want to live, no need to.

Surly this girl isn't me? No this couldn't be the energetic yet sometimes shy Clare Edwards. If it is then what has happened to me? Am I not as happy as I thought I was?

"_Clare why did you leave me?"_ I hear his voice speak again.

Did I leave him? I cant remember; why cant I remember?

"Clare?"

A small gasp escaped my mouth as I was startled away from my many thoughts coursing through my mind. I felt my heart pull towards the voice behind me, towards Eli's voice.

I slowly turn around to see Eli standing there giving me a small smirk, but it doesn't even begin to touch his no longer green eyes. I am barely able to supply anything remotely similar to a smile or a smirk; I just feel sadness wash over me as I look at him.

"May I sit?" He asks me politely, gesturing to the rock beside mine. I numbly nod my head without saying anything.

He sits down next to me, but not too close to break into my personal space for which I am thankful. Even though there is a past between us I feel awkward around him, like I shouldn't be here. I know Drew would be very upset; is it worth the risk?

"Do you remember the first time we came down here?" He asked me a few moments later. He had picked up a few small pebbles and were tossing them mindlessly into the river.

I still hadn't found my voice to speak, so I just shook my head no. He gave me another smirk and chuckled lightly.

"Come on Clare you really don't remember?"

Again I shook my head no.

"I remember." He spoke softly. "It was a few weeks after you moved here, we went for a sunset walk and ended up sitting here and playing in the water while watching the sun go down. You really don't remember?" he asked eyeing me closely.

I shook my head once more in honesty. I really don't remember anything; was he just making things up to distract me.

"Oh." he said sadly.

"I'm sorry I just don't remember it."

"Do you remember anything Clare?" He asked while throwing more pebbles into the water.

I thought about this for a moment; do I remember anything about him? I search my brain quickly but thoroughly but the only thing I can seem to come up with is the day Drew told me he left me. How can I feel that I was at some point really close to Eli but not remember a thing about him?

"No." was all I could say to him.

He looked upon me with those sad eyes but just nodded his head and let a small smirk play on his lips. We sat there in silence for a while; it began to become awkward. I couldn't understand what was going on inside of me right now. I was terribly confused as to why I felt my heart tugging and pulling to reach out to the boy next to me but yet my mind over and over again kept repeating "Drew". His name in my head was dominating everything else I was feeling, but it didn't make this situation much less confusing.

"Are you happy?" He asked me suddenly.

My eye brows knit together in confusion at his odd question. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Did you just answer my question with a question." He smiled at me.

"Did you just ask me another question?" I smiled back. Why does this feel so strangely familiar. Drew. Drew. Drew my mind kept saying.

"Ok fine I stick to the original question then." he laughed.

"Am I happy?" I asked, thinking about this question. Was I truly happy? Yesterday I thought I was but now today I am not so sure. Drew. Drew. Drew. "Yes I am happy, why wouldn't I be."

"I don't know, is there a reason you shouldn't be?" he said playing his games again.

"Ok, stop." I laughed; it felt like I hadn't laughed in centuries.

"I miss this." he spoke softly. "I miss us."

His words cut me like a knife but I didn't project that. Why after all this time is this boy still grieving over me if he is the one that left?

"_Are you sure it was me that left?" _

I could hear his voice in my head as clear as day; but he was sitting stone right next to me. Yes I am sure you left me! Drew said you cheated on me with Alli and then when I said I had forgiven him he left me. How hard is that to understand?

"_Why did you leave me Clare?" _The same sentence still reeling in my mind.

I looked at Eli and gave him a small smile that I hope carried an apology for whatever he needed closure with, even if I myself did not understand this. This is why I shouldn't be around him; he makes all these crazy thoughts go through my head and they only lead to confusion. Drew told me not to come around him and here I am. Technically he came to me but Drew would never see it that way.

"School will be out soon and I need to head back, so um… bye." I said quickly standing up to walk back to the school.

"Can I drive you back? I brought Morty." he smirked.

"Um, I don't think that is such a good idea."

"Clare school gets out in fifteen minutes and it will take you twice that long to get back. Seriously its just a ride, don't flatter your self." He said smugly.

"You wish Goldsworthy." I said automatically. Where the hell did that come from? Did I just call him Goldsworthy? Eli seemed to notice to and at the sound of it his face gained a little more color.

"Um.. Sorry, but yeah I guess a ride would be fine." I said slowly.

"Alright lets go." Eli said cheerfully.

We both got into Morty and Eli started to drive towards the school grounds. I hadn't been in this car for a very long time, but it all seemed so natural to me. It scares me to know that sitting next to Eli in his car made me feel comfortable or at home or something. This is not good, not good at all.

"Clare, I'm sorry for everything." Eli spoke with certainty.

"You don't have to apologize its been a long time since everything." I responded.

"Yes I do need to apologize. I shouldn't have done what I did."

I couldn't help myself ask the next question. I was just so confused and needed to understand why I was.

"What exactly did you do?" At this question he eyed me with curiosity, not understanding.

"Um…" He started unsure of his answer. He stared back to the road as he continued his driving. He took a deep breath before he answered. "Well, I was an idiot and cheated on you, and that led you to not want to see me anymore. You told me to stay away so I did."

"What?" I said turning to look at him. "That's not true."

We were back at Degrassi now; he parked Morty in his usual space and turned the car off. He turned to look at my face which I am sure showed a very angry expression. The asshole is trying to blame this all on me? He cheated and HE left!

"_Are you so sure about that Clare?"_ His voice in my head rang out again. _"Yes I am sure!"_ I shouted back. How would I not be sure? It happened to me didn't it? Drew and I had talked about the day many times! I know what happened.

"_Seems like all roads lead back to Drew." _

STOP! Why am I hearing his voice in my head! Maybe I am dreaming and need to wake up; I just need to focus on getting away from Eli and back to Drew. Maybe Eli is doing some weird voodoo shit to me. I mean come on the guy wears all black, drives a hearse, and has a skull ring he's got to be into that stuff.

"Did you just say that's not true?" He asked me.

"Yes I did. You are lying; don't try to put all the blame on me."

"Clare, I wasn't trying to put the blame on you, but that is true. You did ask me to stay away." He spoke calmly but sure of himself.

"No its not! You left me! That's why Drew had to help me stop being such a fragile little baby because I couldn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone! You cheated on me with Alli and then I told you I would forgive you but you said no and you left."

His eyes grew wide and his lips parted as he gasped at my words. He turned away from me, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly I was sure it would break.

"Damn it Clare, he has his hooks in you so deep!" He said almost yelling.

"Excuse me?" I spoke, raising my voice too. "If you are talking about Drew he has been nothing but good to me ever since you treated me like shit!"

"Clare you don't even remember anything from when we dated! Doesn't that sound a bit off to you?"

"Eli we only dated for two weeks!" I yelled.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" He screamed turning to face me now. I had set myself back a little into the door, scared from his angry tone.

"We dated for almost three fucking months! Do you think if I had been dating you for only two weeks that I would look like this right now and still love you with all my heart? Do you really think that if we had only dated for two weeks that you would have not ate, slept or talked to anyone? Clare we dated for three months and were more in love than anyone in the world! Why cant you see what he has done to you!" He screamed out still boring his blazing eyes into mine.

I couldn't speak, or really even think. I was astounded by his words; I knew they weren't true but they stung my heart. I could only sit there and look into his eyes, which were now starting to produce tears. I felt bad for him, that he had diluted his mind with these memories that weren't true. I needed to help him get past these lies so he could move on from his fantasy's.

"Eli" I started calmly. "You need to learn to let go. I'm sorry, but I don't know where you have come up with these things but you need to move on. You don't love me, I don't love you, I never did. We only dated for _two_ weeks, that's not long enough for us to be in love. That's just silly."

"It didn't seem silly to you the night we made love for this first time and I told you I loved you."

"You are a sick person Eli." I said as I got out of his car. I slammed the car door shut and started walking inside to meet Drew.

"Clare wait!" He said grabbing my arm lightly to spin around.

"Don't you dare touch me! You have problems Eli and you need to get over yourself! I never had sex with you and we never said we loved each other! You need help!" I screamed at him.

"Clare why cant you see what he has done to you!"

"He hasn't done anything to me but love me! He is the only one I have ever truly loved! He helped me!"

"No Clare he brainwashed you!"

"Brainwash really? This isn't some soap opera Eli!"

"Oh yeah and all of it being on a reality TV show makes it better!" He screamed and at the end of his words his eyes went wide again.

"Clare did you watch last season of the show?" he said taking a step closer to me.

"No why?" I said confused. Were we really talking about the show right now?

"Clare you need to watch it. It will prove everything to you."

"I don't need anything proved to me I know what happened."

"I'm serious Clare please. The season finale is on Friday and it will show you everything."

"Eli why are we even talking about this? Why am I even talking to you! I don't watch the show and I don't need to, I live it every fucking day!"

"You haven't been fucking living it if you can even remember it Clare! Jesus Christ you have to listen to me and get away from him!"

"You just don't listen do you! I am perfectly happy where I am at and that includes being

With Drew!"

"I don't believe that." he spoke sadly.

"You are impossible Eli! Why cant you just accept the fact that I am happy and just move on! You lost your chance with me! Why can't you just get over it!"

He closed his eyes for only a moment as his face softened. I began to notice students pouring out of the school, with all their eyes on us. I wonder just how much of this fight they caught.

"Clare?" I heard Drew say from behind me. Shit shit shit! "What are you doing out here?"

I turned my head to see him smiling at me, but that smile quickly vanished when he saw who was standing only a few feet in front of me. He ran the rest of the way over to me and put his arm in front of me to push me back. Owen and KC were instantly there to stand on either side of me.

"What the hell are you doing talking to him!" He said to me. I quickly looked over at Eli, I was going to be in trouble with him for this and it seems that he understood. Eli quickly spoke.

"It wasn't her fault Drew, I came up to her, she told me to get lost and I didn't listen." He said sadly, but taking the blame for me.

"Why cant you just leave her alone! She doesn't want you around her Eli is it that hard to understand!" Drew yelled at him walking over and getting in his face.

Eli raised his hands in and started backing away. He looked at Drew and then to me. "I'm leaving, but Clare?" I looked straight to him and my eyes met with his now again green ones, and the smirk that played on his lips.

"To answer your question, I will never get over you. Happy one year Anniversary Blue Eyes." were his final words before getting into his car and driving away.

Blue Eyes, I knew that name. That felt familiar to me, and right. Had he called me that before? What did he mean by One year anniversary. I couldn't take my eyes off of him until he left the parking lot.

After he was gone I looked to a very upset Drew, who was cursing under his breath. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, while placing a kiss on my forehead. I couldn't help myself but slightly step away from him. My mouth was open trying to speak and ask him so many questions but I couldn't form any words. Drew noticed my hesitation and wasn't to fond of it. He grabbed my hand and pulled hard as he led me to his vehicle and away from everyone else.

"Get in" he mumbled angrily. I knew this anger wouldn't stop here.

He pushed me inside as he went inside the school for a quick second before returning with my items from my locker. He threw them over to me and I held onto them tightly afraid of his anger towards me. As he peeled out from the parking lot I went to grab my purse to look for my phone.

He wasn't driving towards my home or his but I didn't question this. I just sat there quietly as I rustled items around looking for my phone. When I found it I pulled it out but what was strange was there was something attached to it. A note. Confused I pulled the note away from my phone and unfolded it quickly and secretly so that Drew would not see it. Reading it quickly over and over again, I gasped at what I read.

"_Clare, you have been a naughty girl. When will you learn?"_

I looked up from the note over at Drew; he hadn't noticed me reading the note. Who had put this in here, who had been in my stuff? I felt my heart race as I thought about this. Was it the same person that had been sending me the text messages. Who was this person?

Drew stopped and turned off the car; and got out with out saying a word to me. He came around to my side and opened my door pulling me out of the car by my arm. Walking to the front door Drew knocked on the door and when they opened the door I couldn't help but gasp out loud and all words were at a halt in my throat.

**Eli POV**

Brainwash her is exactly what he did, and you better fucking believe I am going to break her out of it. She was mine and I don't care how possessive it sounds, Clare Edwards is mine.

It has been too fucking long since I have held her in my arms or kissed her perfect lips and I am not going to wait any longer. Drew Torres thinks he is ruining my life and to be perfectly honest for the past ten months he has. Today is the last day that he gets the thrill out of my pain and misery and today is the last day he is going to keep her away from me.

Clare is to important to me to let her go another day. I may be the Emo boy who wears too much black, has black finger nails from a use of too much sharpie, or drives a fucking hearse but that doesn't mean its going to stop me from getting back the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with.

For too long I have let other people have everything I wanted and have stepped aside peacefully. Not anymore.

I don't need the romantic setting, the action fitting music, and I don't need a fucking white horse to help me do what I have to do next.

Clare is coming home; home to me.

**There is chapter 15! I hope you all loved it! What do you think is going to happen next! Don't forget to review and show me just a little love! Haha! Hope you all love it! Thanks so much!**

**Review! : )**

**-MunroInMyChambers-**


	16. Chapter 16

**Booya! Hello all my lovely readers! So here we are with Chapter 16 (dun dun dun) ! I hope you are excited because we are getting down to what the hell has been going on! I'm excited! So I have gotten a few predictions! Some close and some way off but it makes me smile that you all are so into the story! Also, I am currently writing another story and I am so excited about it! But for now please enjoy Chapter 16!**

**Disclaimer: Why do I keep repeating myself? I do NOT own Degrassi or its characters, blah blah blah! I own only my story! : )**

**And alyxwithay is the lovely beta reader!**

Chapter 16: Forget about it! Literally…

**Julia POV**

Everything has changed.

Life is not about the fun things in my life anymore; I was not the popular pretty girl at Degrassi, or the biggest bitch you have ever met. No I was now a lonely girl who got mixed up in the wrong game. I thought I was only going after _him_ so I could tear him down, little did I know the past that he had with _her. _Now I regretted it everyday; regretted all the words I said against her, all the rumors I spread and every lie I told that got me to where I am now. Because now I am just a pawn in his game to win her back, and I was unable to break free.

I sit here in my usual spot everyday after school and do nothing but wait until I am told what my next move is. I am not allowed to speak unless spoken to, nor move unless told to. I am a puppet on short strings who does what her master says.

I hear the door open and close, causing me to sit up straight and be beautiful and pleasing to my master. He comes closer to me placing an unwanted harsh kiss to my lips, as he brushes his hands across my breasts. I am not allowed to reject this for it will only end in bad things, for me and for _her._

"You look beautiful Julia." He purrs to me. I choke back a gag and sit there with a smile upon my face.

"Bedroom, now." He orders. I pick myself up and walk to where he has directed me. Getting closer to the bedroom we both stop as we hear someone knocking on the door. My master mumbled under his breath; grabbing my hand we walk to the door and he yanks it open angrily. I try not to gasp as I see _her _standing there with him. Clare Edwards what have you done? I knew Drew would never bring her here unless something was wrong or he was extremely pissed off. Clare was surprised herself to see me standing there but more surprised to see the one person I don't think Drew will ever be able to make her forget, for sheer torture.

"Devin?" she said shakily as he pulled me to the side making Drew bring her in.

Shit. I don't think I can get her out of this one.

**Clare POV**

_I don't remember._

That simple statement is all I could think about since returning home some point in the night.

I found myself lying in bed with my pajama's on but without a memory of how I got here or what had happened. I still lay here now trying to understand why my mind feels like it has been barricaded or blocked away from my own self. It's giving me a headache sitting here trying to understand what has happened to me and why my head feels like a hundred pound weight is upon it.

I feel so closed minded and so blocked off from the world, yet somewhere inside of me I know this has happened before. Why cant I remember?

Trying to search your brain for information is like trying to find a contact in a field; It's impossible.

Sitting upright in my bed I looked around and see that nothing has changed, nothing has been moved. All is the same except for me. I get up from my lazy slumber and walked to my bathroom and studied myself in the mirror, but nothing there is different either. Maybe I am just making too much out of this, I probably just fell and hit my head.

"_No."_ I hear the tiniest whisper that frightens me a little.

I shake my head in confusion as I decide I am just sleep deprived. I felt a little stressed so I decided to take a shower to hopefully relieve my senses and help calm my all to working hard brain. I was thinking to hard about why I felt so weird. I feel like a brick, hard, heavy and stand still. Like if I move I will be dragging a whole mountain with me. Stepping into the shower and letting the warm water spill over my head I am bombarded with a stream of thoughts again, all of my own making.

Why do I feel like this? What can I not remember? Why do I feel something is waiting for me to open my eyes to it? Why do I feel like a bad person? Why did-

"_Why did you leave me?" _the unknown voice whispers again still quiet.

I spin myself around in the shower looking for someone to sneak up on me. I heard it, I know I did. I peek my head out of the shower: No one. I must seriously be tired.

"_You said Forever." _This time the voice was clearly audible but I knew it was not from the outside but from within. I am frozen in shock as I realize this voice, this person is talking in my head? How is that possible! I should only hear that little voice in my mind that is my conscious or whatever. Who was this intruder?

"_Come back to me Clare."_ The voice spoke to me. Ever so clearly I could hear it as a male voice, a teenage one perhaps. It was dark and mysterious yet soothing and gentle.

I finish my shower and make my way back to my bed to obtain some much needed sleep. Talking voices and no memory? I must be dreaming. I chuckle to myself as I start to drift off to a peaceful sleep.

"_CLARE!" - _I scream at the top of my lungs as the voice in my head screams my name. My head is searching everywhere for the person playing this mean trick on me. I am so scared, and I don't even understand why.

I am too stunned to move, to afraid to speak. Afraid that if I move it will only speak again.

"Clare?" I scream again only this time I see Alli standing in my bedroom doorway looking worried and sleepy.

"Oh God, Alli." I said as I took a deep breath.

"Are you ok?" she said wide eyed and shocked.

"Yes I'm sorry… It was.. Just a nightmare." I lied quickly.

"Oh." She said in between a yawn. "You going to be ok?" She asked me turning to leave.

I went to nod my head yes but suddenly a sting in my heart called out for my sister. Looking at her, I can remember at least one thing if nothing else, for an unknown to me reason I miss her. I looked at her sorrowfully and shook my head no.

"Would you stay in here tonight?" I asked shyly seeing the shock play out on her face.

"Of course." She said kindly closing the door and coming to lay down on the bed next to me.

I laid my head back down to my pillow as I tried to drift off again to a peaceful sleep. The only thing different this time was my mind was not quiet at all, I could still hear in the background the boy calling my name over and over again.

**Next Morning**

Today was Saturday and for the first time in months I didn't have plans. Drew and his family were out of town this weekend so sadly I couldn't see him until Monday morning at school. I didn't know what I was going to do all weekend without him. I haven't spent a day without him in months, but secretly I don't feel upset about it. I found myself wondering what I was going to do simply because this was out of my normal routine, or habit. I would never admit it to him but I didn't miss him. I guess we were just at that part in the relationship where we didn't need to constantly be by each others sides.

The weather was nice enough for me to take a walk around the neighborhood. I didn't have a place in particular, so I just let my feet and my dog do the walking.

I may be trying to ignore it but I cant for much longer. Soon the smile is wiped of my face as my attention goes back to the voice that is still constantly talking inside of my head, only getting louder by the second. Last night even after Alli stayed with me I couldn't fall completely asleep; it just wouldn't leave me alone. I tried everything, even stupid things like hitting my head or shaking it like crazy. But it just wont stop. I feel myself getting fidgety and loosing focus because I cant stop thinking about the boy in my head and who it is. I am so confused but it's the only thing happening in my mind right now. I still cannot place my thoughts or memories, not even the most recent ones except for ones that have to do with Drew. I can remember everything about Drew but then my mind goes blank when I am trying to remember past that. It doesn't make sense to me and I find it very odd.

"_I find it very coincidental." _The voice answers my questions beaming in my head.

_Stop it please._ I fight back uselessly.

It does seem odd though that all I can remember is Drew and only stuff about him. Like yesterday, I remember driving to school with him and then getting in the car with him after school and going to someone's house. That's all I remember; I don't even remember who's house it was. All I know was he knocked on the door and then bam its like I wiped out or something. Why would I only remember the morning and then part of the after noon and nothing else? it's the same for every other day I only remember parts that have Drew in it or my family.

Something weird is happening and I don't understand what.

Still walking and thinking I hadn't noticed where I was going, I was looking around and seemed to be in a place that felt so familiar to me. I wasn't sure why, I was never over in this side of the surrounding areas. Walking farther down the street I seemed to notice more and more places that looked incredibly familiar. House after house was staring at me like they knew me as well I as I knew them. Then I came to one house in particular that I couldn't help but stop in front of. It was a white house with black trim and shutters. Beautiful flowers adorned the front of it as well as leading to the back. It looked nicely kept and well maintained.

It wasn't the house's looks that drew me in but something deeper. Something to do with this house and myself but I don't know what.

"Clare, what are you doing staring at my house like that?" I shook my head confused as to why the voice in my head would ask me such a stupid question. Ignoring it as usual I start to turn away and continue on my walk until I run right into someone standing right next to me.

"Oh God I'm so-" I stop immediately as I look up to see a boy standing next to me. Looking at him from a girls point of view my first reaction in "Oh God he is hot." but since I am currently taken I will brush away those thoughts. He had the beautiful green eyes that almost looked like little pools of emeralds. His hair was jet black and shaggy but yet kept in complete order. Besides the look on confusion across his face he was stunningly handsome for a teenaged boy. Please someone tell me why in the hell I have never met this boy before.

"_How could you forget me Clare?"_ The voice in my head spoke.

"You ok there Clare?" This stranger said to me. My mouth fell open slightly as I realized that the boy talking in my head was the boy talking to me now? No, that cant be right.

"How do you know my name?" I asked him confused but only getting a more confused look from him.

"Wait, what?" he said. " Do you not know him I am?"

I thought about it for a moment, not that it did much good. "Sorry, No I don't." I shrugged my shoulders slightly.

**Eli POV**

Okay lets look at this three ways. One she has totally gone off her fucking rocker and hates me completely and wont even acknowledge me. Two she is just being a bitch. Or three- Drew has seriously fucked with her brain and she really doesn't remember me. So taking in all three that leaves me to do what? How the fuck should I know?

Ok think Eli! If she really doesn't remember me than that really sucks. But I could use it to my advantage. Drew is now where in sight which means he has actually let her off the chain for today, but I don't trust that she isn't being watched. If she is being watched at least she is here with me and I can do something. So I need to play this just right, that way if she is being a bitch I would know right away.

"I'm sorry I must have you confused with someone else." I said smirking a little. She seemed to be a little more at ease now as she stretched out her hand in and introduction.

"I'm Clare Edwards.. And you are?"

"Oh right!" I said shaking her hand. Oh how I have longed for her touch. "I'm Eli Goldsworthy… Do you live around here?" I asked nonchalantly. It pains me to know that she honestly doesn't remember me but yet something inside me stirs as a plan starts to form.

"A little ways back that way." she said pointing behind her. "I was just walking around and happen to come through here. Your house feels strangely familiar to me. Sorry if that's weird." She smiled slightly.

'Oh no, it's cool. I'm actually new here in town, I start school on Monday. Do you go to Degrassi to?" I asked keeping up the conversation.

"Yeah I do." she smiled pleasingly.

"Well I was just getting ready to head over to this café everyone's talking about… its called The um.." I stopped on my words.

"The Dot? Oh yea it's a great place.. I actually work there." She spoke kindly.

"That's cool.. Hey would you like to come with me? I don't really know my way around yet."

"Oh I don't know." she stated letting her smile drop a bit.

"Come on! I'm the new kid in town and you are already going to ditch me?"

She looked up at me and it seemed like forever that I had seen those rich blue eyes. They haven't shone this bright since the night we broke up and that I am sure of.

"Okay, but it's a long way's to walk." she laughed.

"Walk? No way! I have a car, come on." I waved her over towards Morty; this should be interesting.

As I was walking over to get in the car I looked back and noticed her staring with wide eyes shocked; I smirked at how unbelievably adorable she is.

"You drive.. A hearse?" She said looking to me again.

"Yeah, it was either that or the bat mobile!" I said sarcastically; she smiled at my witty remark.

"The bat mobile would have been much more impressive."

"I do say Ms. Edwards that does something to a mans ego." I said trying my best not to laugh. This was the Clare I knew, loved and missed dearly.

"Ego? I think you lost that when you got your car there." she laughed.

"Ha Ha very funny… You coming or not? This Bat mobile doesn't wait around." I said proudly trying not to laugh.

"Yes I'm coming but to me it looks like you could get a five minute start and I would still beat you to The Dot…. Walking." She laughed joyously as she got into the vehicle. I had to try my hardest to keep the tears from falling down my face. Clare, I love you so much; we will have this back.

We were driving from my house to The Dot and I noticed Clare was very nervous acting but not because she was in the car with me. She seemed comfortable around me and I fully believed that was because her heart knew it was in the right place. But what confused me is I noticed how fidgety she was; she couldn't stop moving. He hand would tap on her leg, or she would keep her leg shaking up in down. Biting her fingernails and constantly looking over at me as if I had said something. I couldn't understand what it was that she was doing but I was damn sure going to try to make it better.

"So Clare, how long have you lived here?" I asked trying to take her mind off of whatever she was thinking.

"A little over a year. My dad got transferred so me and my sister Alli had to move here."

"You have a sister?" I asked trying my best to put myself back into acting mode.

"Yeah, she is technically my adopted sister but we have been best friends since we were in diapers so my sister none the less."

"Cool."

"What about you? Any siblings?"

"Nope.. Just me. I was to prefect for them to need another one."

"Are you sure it wasn't because you aren't to much to handle?" She laughed.

"Hey! CeCe and Bullfrog adore me ok?"

She gave me an odd look and let a smirk play on her lips. "CeCe and Bullfrog?" she questioned.

"Oh right… Those are my parents. Mom and Dad don't work in my house, they think it makes them sound to formal or something."

At that she laughed out loud and it was a contagious laugh. We made it to The Dot still enjoying our laughter as we got out and headed inside. I took the lead as we got in and pointed her to the direction of the table in the back corner; our table. The table where I first laid eyes on her and her me. Where we sat and learned about each other over some nachos.

"Can I take your order?" the kind waitress asked.

"Clare would you like to share some nachos with me?" I asked deceivingly, well aware of what I was doing. She nodded her head yes to me and as the waitress walked away Clare's eye brows knit up in confusion.

"Everything ok?" I asked.

"Um.. Yeah sorry.. Just sort of felt like déjà vu there for a second." She looked to me apologetically and I just shrugged my shoulders.

Our time at The Dot was nothing more than spectacular. We ate, laughed and talked the entire three hours we spent there. She would tell me all about her family and her likes and dislikes and I the same. We got into a heated discussion about books and movies, and even Justin Bieber. But that's what I loved about it; we could talk about anything no matter how stupid it was, we could just sit there comfortably and talk like two normal people.

The question as to where her current but not for long other half was had been hanging around in my mind. I needed to find out the answer.

"So Clare, you don't seem like the girl a guy would want to let go of. Are you dating anyone? Some one I should be afraid of when we go to school on Monday."

"Afraid of?" She laughed at me. "Are you wimpy Elijah?" she said punching my arm softly.

"What can I say, emo guys are just not built." I said in a monotone sad voice. We both laughed carelessly at our dumb banter.

"To answer your question yes, I am dating someone." As she said this her face fell and the smile disappeared. I sat straight up giving her my full attention as she spoke about him.

"His name is Drew, he's the quarter back for the High schools football team."

"Nice." I smiled politely. "Is he at practice today or something?" I asked while taking a sip of my coffee.

"No his family had some reunion or something to go to so he's out of town for the weekend."

YES! I screamed mentally inside my head. Okay its time to kick it into gear and get Clare back to where she belongs. Damn you Adam for not telling me!

"Well that's cool. So does that mean that you are free to be my tour guide around town?"

"Yes of course!" She smiled wide. "Oh and I know the perfect place to start! Lets go!" she said grabbing my hand and leading me out of the café.

For the next few hours we spent the time together walking around downtown Toronto and myself trying to act like a tourist even though I had seen it all a million times. Thank God we didn't see anyone either of us knew or this would be ruined. Eventually as the day went on I told her I wanted to take her somewhere I had discovered. She was happy to oblige, and that worked perfectly.

I drove her out to the lake and seated her onto a row boat. I rowed our way out to the little island that we once had our first date on. Guiding her through the rocks and sand to the other side where the big rock we once sat on as a happy and in love couple. We both sat down and stared at the water below us and its beauty. Everything out here was so much simpler; there was no Drew, or any of the problems we had facing us right now. It was just Me and Clare.

"Do you come here a lot?" she asked eyeing some stuff behind us. Truth is, I come here almost everyday.

"Yeah, it's a nice place to think."

"It feels like I have been here before." she said abruptly. "But I don't remember ever coming here." She said looking over to me. Her face was so beautiful in the low sunlight, with her auburn curls dancing in the wind around the outlines of her face.

"It's definetly a place. You could never forget… I know I didn't." I said the last part quietly.

She smiled kindly at me, then turning back to look at the water I couldn't help but notice again how distracted and fidgety she was. My mind was hoping she was just nervous but the other part of me was telling me something was wrong.

**Clare POV**

I had spent the whole day with Eli; a stranger whom I had only met earlier today but he never felt like a stranger to me. When we first began our journey of events the day I thought that maybe it might be a little awkward but I didn't want him to feel alone since he was new here. But as the day went on everything flowed together so nicely; he was easy to talk to, fun to hang out with and I loved being around him. A little too much.

The only thing going wrong was me; inside of my head. The voice it wouldn't stop and sometimes I didn't know if it was Eli or the voice in my head. I don't think Eli has taken notice which I am glad, but what I cant figure out is why the hell is this stranger in my head?

"_I told you, I'm no stranger." _

_Yes you are I have never met you before_

"_Why did you leave me Clare?"_

_I never left anyone! What are you talking about?_

"_All you have to do is remember."_

He kept saying that to me all day. All I have to do is remember? Remember what exactly? Probably everything in between Drew that I cant seem to put my finger on.

I was starting to get angry that I was having all these problems today but maybe it was just me being tired or whatever. I didn't want to ruin this wonderful day I was having with Eli, so as much as I could I tried to block it all away. Didn't help much.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked him suddenly, seeking conversation.

"Duh." he chuckled. I love his laugh. Wait what?

"Um.. Okay so I mean this in the least creepy way possible but I feel like I have known you longer than a day. Wow I sound like a cheesy movie." I laughed, only to stop short when I see the pain coming through his eyes. He tries to cover it up but I can still see it hidden in those beautiful eyes. I have missed those eyes. Wait.. Again what?

"I know what you mean Blue eyes." he spoke sadly.

"Excuse me?" I said my head snapping towards him. "What did you just call me?"

"Blue eyes?" he said in confusion.

Blue eyes. Blue eyes?

_Has he called me this before?_ I thought to myself

"_Yes." _

How is that possible. I just met him but why do I feel like I have heard this before. Damn it I cant refuse to admit it anymore, why do I feel so connected to him. I don't understand why the hell this boy is making me feel this way. I am with Drew but honestly right now I don't even care. I feel myself slipping farther away from Drew, but I didn't feel that way yesterday. Just being around Eli makes me forget that I have a boyfriend or a family. Hell he makes me forget my own name.

"Is there a problem?" He asked me.

"No… So um.. Do you play the guitar a lot?" I asked him seeing the guitar behind us along with a few books that he said he comes here to read and be alone.

"Oh uh yeah I do. I love it." He smirked.

"Can I hear something?" I asked him kindly. I honestly just wanted to get my mind off the whole Blue eyes thing but also interested in seeing if emo boy here could play. An interest sparks in his eyes at my request. He reached over to grab the guitar pulling it out of its old black case. It was a beautiful solid black acoustic guitar and it fit him perfectly.

"Yeah, sure can I play something I wrote?" He smiled wide.

"Of course, but do remember I can be brutally honest!" I laughed.

"Oh I'm positive you will love this one."

As he said this he began to softly strum the guitar, picking at a few strings here and there playing a beautiful melody. My heart started beating so fast at the sound of this music as if it had been waiting to hear it this whole time. Then he sang, and I will never in my whole life forget the moment the voice left my crowded head and leapt into the boy in front of me, taking the barricade with it.

"_Your beautiful eyes, stare right into mine. And sometimes, I think of you late at night I don't know why. I want to be somewhere where you are, I want to be where._

_You're here your eyes are looking into mine so baby make me fly. My heart has never felt this way before I'm looking through your, I'm looking through your eyes."_

"Oh my God, Eli." I said as tears flooded my eyes. I remember, he was right All I had to do was remember.

**So a little cliffy there at the end! What do you think will happen now? Will Clare run into his arms? Only possibly 2 more chapters left of the story! Are you all ready? Its about to go down! Tune in next week for Degrassi: The Real Toronto.**

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**-MunroInMyChambers- **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello all my fantastic Readers! I hope you are all ready for an emotionally jam packed chapter! I am sad to say that this is it! : ( Don't throw things at me yet! I have a little surprise for you at the end!**

**REVIEW : ) or no surprises lol! **

**I'm sad this is my last chapter as beta reader but I can't wait to edit more of her stuff! -Alyx-withay**

**Chapter 17: I remember…. But I don't want to.**

"Oh my God."

That was the only words that my mouth could seem to bring to life. I sat there in complete shock as my brain began to throb from the amount of information coming through it. It was a constant flood of flashing memories flowing as fast as a waterfall.

I saw the moment my eyes first locked with those hypnotizing green ones; I saw the ever sweet kiss we shared and every moment in love we spent together. Then I saw the night my life came crashing down on me when I found out what he had done, to seeing Drew on my front porch.

Drew. At that name I could see every memory that I had already known about and then even more memories I can't even recall. Every trip to his house that always ended up with me waking up at home dazed and confused; every moment spent down in his dark basement as he sat in front of me and spoke words to me that had become my life. Every detail that led me to believe that I loved him, wanted him and didn't want anything to do with Eli. I saw each time he told me that Eli was nothing to me and I began to believe it as well as live it.

Every emotion in my body was at a frenzy that I myself couldn't possibly understand. Happiness because I was finally understanding so many questions that ran through my brain. Joy that my life could be put back on track. Sadness that I had let all this happen and lastly fear; because I do not know what will happen next.

"Yoo Hoo? Clare are you alright?" I hear Eli say as he waves his hand in front of my face. I come back to my senses noticing the worried look across his face and feeling the horror on mine.

I look to him and I am slammed with every feeling I have ever had for him. Love, Lust, need, and want. All those things even feeling them come rushing back to me still doesn't change the fact that right now in my current state: I am scared shitless.

Eli moves closer to me to try to get me to talk to him but I quickly back my self away from him. I stand up and back myself away from the shore of the water where he currently stands looking confused.

"Clare what's wrong? What did you mean that you remember?" He asks me while looking into my eyes causing me to go breathless as I see those eyes that I only saw in my dreams.

"I remember everything." I whispered softly feeling my eyes tear up again. " I remember you in the Dot that first night, I remember the docks, the hangouts in the park and… I remember the night of the party. I remember you telling me you love me, and holding me. I remember every apology you tried to give me until I didn't want them anymore. Then I remember you stopping all contact with me and not fighting for me. And now I remember…. Drew." I finished almost breathlessly.

"You remember?" he breathed with a sparkle of water in his eyes and a small smile spreading across his lips. I nodded my head yes slowly as the realization dawned on me. Eli's small smile blew into a full blown sparkling white smile as he gently placed his guitar down and started running over to me as he engulfed me into an embrace whispering, "Oh God, Clare I missed you."

"No!" I screamed as I pushed him off of me seeing the hurt he had in his eyes. "Don't touch me! I cant think I… need." I breathed and then letting out a belting scream causing me to fall to my knees. What was happening to me? I was just blessed enough to remember everything yet I was so confused and didn't understand what was happening to me.

"Clare what's wrong?" Eli said bending down to my level placing his hand on my arm.

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled to him as I got up and started sprinting to the other side of the island. The feeling was almost unbearable, not because I hated Eli or still hadn't forgiven him. I was bombarded with fact of the life I had been living the past year was short of anything I ever expected.

"Clare wait!" I could hear Eli yelling but I kept sprinting jumping into the boat and making my way to the other side of the lake. I could hear Eli in the distance yelling my name and then splashing into the water as he swam towards me.

Once I was close enough to the other side I jumped out of the boat and started running. I always found my self running somewhere I do not know but always away from my current problem. I couldn't look at him, not now. I was ashamed at what had happened to me and also so unbelievably confused as to why he let this happen to me.

At that thought I felt so much anger inside me start to boil underneath my skin. The level of pissed off I reached was crazy to me but I could feel ever inch of my skin crawling with it. Anger at why he cheated on me, why he never told me the truth in the first place, and why in the hell did he never fucking fight for me.

He never wanted me is what I kept telling myself. He just pretended to love me and then when he was finally let free of his burden then he let me go like I was a piece of trash. I may think that all I want but my heart doesn't want to believe it.

As I continue to run, not far from the city now I feel the fear starting to kick in of what I will have to deal with in a few days. I know Drew is expecting to see me the second he returns but can I bear to be with him alone? I am terrified of what he will do when he learns that I know everything. How was it so easy for him to do this to me. I never thought Drew the type of person to do this to me or anyone for that matter.

After running as far as I could and then making my way home in a cab I find my self sitting in my bedroom wrapped in a towel after a hot shower. Confusion and amazement flooding through my mind along with fighting to keep the memories of what I learned today alive. Even if I wanted to prolong the inevitable I knew I needed to sort everything out and find out who the hell I am after all this time.

My feelings for Eli have never changed, even if they were subsided for a while and I did not remember them for a time. I have loved Eli ever since the first day I met him and nothing anyone did could ever change that. But I was also still a little angry at him for what he had done, Although it had been a mistake and I can clearly understand that now. Alli; My best friend and sister, whom even though she made a mistake as well I miss more than anything. Right now I needed her to talk to, cry to and just tell me everything is going to be okay. Drew; what in the hell do I do about him. I have no freaking clue where to start with that one. Firstly I hate his mother fucking guts for what he did to me. He ruined my life, or at least what was left of it. What really sucks its in the beginning when I was starting to heal and he was helping me I felt myself genuinely starting to like him. But now it just disgust's me to my core. How could I be so naïve and so stupid? I should have known better and even at the revenge I was planning in my mind to get back at Ali and Eli I should have listened to my heart. I fear what will happen when I see him tonight. What will he do? Will he hurt me? The list could go on but I know I had to do it.

Slowly I lift myself to make myself look presentable, all the while my phone is at a constant state of ringing and chimes of calls and text messages all from Eli. I don't have the heart to say anything to him, I am still so confused at where he stands in my life or if he will at all. I have to put myself together not just including my clothes and makeup but my head as well. I need to go about this with caution.

I hear a knock on my door as I turn and see just the person I right now fear most. Dread feels my ever bone along with the terrifying feeling of having him here. He stalks over to me with a happy look on his face and envelops me in a too crowed for me hug. Knowing that I need to take this slowly I hug him back full force.

"Hey baby, I missed you." He says to me in my ear before kissing my forehead.

"I missed you too." I responded automatically; damn this guy is good. "But what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be home till tomorrow night."

"Well lets just say The Torres family doesn't _always_ get along." He chuckled.

"Oh." I said making myself giggle. Sick, he just makes me sick.

"So what do you say we go to The Dot and eat? I'm craving French fries and milkshakes." he smiles down on me. I return the smile and he grabs my hand to lead me out the door.

When we arrive at The Dot Drew goes to the counter to order our food and I can feel myself sweating. Good God this was going to be interesting. Thank God we are in a public place but of all places the Dot really?

I look down to see my phone dancing across the table once again with a text message from Eli.

"_Please at least tell me you are ok?"_

I responded quickly to his text and almost wanting him to understand what I was about to do.

"_I'm fine.. I'm at the Dot with Drew." _

I look back up from my phone to see a clueless but happy Drew sit down in front of me. I feel a sudden confidence rise within me as I tell myself "It's now or never."

"I missed you today, my family sucks." He says grabbing my hand and stroking it softly.

"We need to talk," I hear myself say.

"Ok? Not the comment I was expecting but what wrong babe?"

I didn't know if I should do as they say and rip the band aid off or if maybe I should go slow with it. Maybe I need to try a different tactic. Dear God why did I do this alone.

"Um… I think you should know that I…" I started shaking slightly.

"You what Clare?" He said sternly stating to get angry.

"I spent the day with Eli, and I know everything." I said quickly not making eye contact with him. He loosened his grip on my hand but I could feel the tension coming off of him. The anger and how furious he was, it was hitting me in the face.

"What exactly do you mean?" He said with a voice full of anger.

"Why don't you answer that for me? What _exactly _did you do to me? What do you need to tell me?" I spoke with confidence.

"Clare I told you not to hang out with him he's crazy. You can't listen or believe anything he says."

"He didn't tell me anything, Drew."

"Then what the hell are you talking about?" He yelled.

"I'm talking about the fact that for weeks every night you would sit me down in your basement and stripped away everything in my brain that made me Clare Edwards. You broke me down mentally and built me back up into the pawn that you wanted me to be in your game but the only thing I can't figure out is why?"

"I'm not having this conversation Clare."

"Why not? Are you to fucking afraid that I will leave and go back to him? You don't even care about me so why does it matter!"

"I told him this wouldn't work!" He yelled to himself.

"What? You told who that what wouldn't work."

"Get your stuff and lets go."

"Excuse me? I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Apparently I shouldn't have said that. Drew rose from his seat and grabbed my arm fiercely yanking me up looking me in the eye.

"Shut the hell up and get your ass moving." He said as he pushed me in front of him towards the door. I stopped and whipped around to face him, my curls flying in every direction.

"Do not touch me. I don't know what kind of a sick fuck you are and why you did this to me but I want you to leave me alone." With that I turned to start walking out, making it just out the door until Drew grabbed me from behind pulling me into the alley way next to the café. Kicking and screaming although it never seemed to help.

"It's just not that easy Clare Bear. I don't have a choice. Either you come with me quietly or I make you shut the fuck up!" He yelled into my ear with a evil hint while showing me a syringe filled with some unknown to me liquid.

The last thing I remember was kicking and screaming trying to get away from him. Then there was nothing, silence and darkness surrounded me and after all the shit I had been through I embraced it with open arms.

**Eli POV**

Holy Shit. Its happening, its finally happening. She's back; maybe not to normal yet but she understands. My love, my life, my Clare remembers me and everything that has been happening. I will admit I was a little put off by the fact that she ran away and made swim across the damn lake. But for her I don't care I would do anything. By the time I go to the other side I had no fucking Clue where she went. I ran to Morty and started driving every and getting my cell phone from home to reach her but nothing.

I was panicking to not know what she was thinking or how she was feeling. I was an ass to think everything would just pop back into place, I mean come on Eli the girl has been through a lot. I just wish she would let me know what was going on through her brain.

"_Please at least tell me you are ok?" _I text her quickly, not really expecting a response since she has ignored all million of my others.

"_I'm fine.. I'm at the Dot with Drew." _

What the fuck? She's with _him_? You have got to be fucking kidding me! Why in the hell would she run right back to him after realizing everything that happened? It's probably my fault for trying to hug her when we were on the island. But no, there is no way she would go running back to him. Unless… She's scared or something. I hope she doesn't tell him she knows that will just piss him off even more. I've got to go down there incase he tries anything else.

Grabbing my jacket and keys I race out the door down to Morty peeling out of my drive way. Driving way over the speed limit I make my way to my love. I need to at least make sure she is ok. If she says she still never wants to see me again, well I want to say I would respect that but damn it I don't think I can. I love her too much to live without her for another minute. I love her too much to respect some shitty thing of her saying she never wants to see me again. I know that's not fucking true. No matter how you look at it Clare and I are meant to be and it will always be that way. I may not believe in God or whatever but I damn sure believe in fate and soul mates. I don't care how gothic people think I am or that black is my favorite color; I Eli Goldsworthy am one hundred percent unconditionally in love with Clare Edwards.

I screech to a stop in front of the Dot but I see no sign of Clare's car nor do I see Drew's. I run into the Dot receiving a few awkward stares but I don't see them anywhere.

"Excuse me?" I ask the waitress. "Was Clare in here a little bit ago with Drew?" This girl doesn't recognize me but I know that she works with Clare.

"Yea they left really quickly about 2 minutes ago. I was bringing them their food-" She pointed the empty booth behind us. " But they were gone."

Looking to the booth I see something still sitting on the table: Clare's phone.

"DAMN IT!" I yell before grabbing her phone and darting out to Morty.

I pull out my phone and dial Drew's number, a number I never thought I would want to call.

"God Damn it Drew I swear if you fucking touch her I will kill you! Where the hell did you take her?" I left on his voice mail before snapping my phone shut. Driving was all I was doing; I didn't know where to go, what street to take or what to look for. I felt like I was just wasting precious time with my Clare. Who would have any clue where she is?

Julia. FUCK ME! Julia! I pulled out my phone a dialed her number quickly just hoping some miracle would happen and she could answer.

"Hello?" I hear a quiet voice whisper.

"JULIA! Holy Shit listen to me! Clare knows everything! She remembered earlier today and then she ran off and went with Drew and I couldn't get a hold of her. She said she was at the Dot but when I went there she wasn't there but her cell phone was and now I cant find her Julia! I'm fucking freaking out! Do you know where she is? I swear if he-"

"Jesus Christ ELI! Slow Down!" She half yelled in a whisper. "I don't have time to explain it just come to 405 South Lambert Street." With that she hung up. I had no fucking clue where that was Julia! Damn it!

Lambert street? Where the hell was that?

"You have got to be Fucking Kidding me!" I yelled to myself as I whipped my car around and headed towards my house.

When I got to my house I jumped out of Morty and stood at the end of my driveway looking directly across the street from my house. There I spot Drew's car in the driveway next to an unfamiliar looking one. How in the fucking world did I never notice this before? I had never seen his car there before.

Walking across the street quickly I headed over to house to look through the window. Seeing nothing potentially harmful except that my Clare is lying on the couch unconscious with that bastard Devin hovering over her.

Fuck.

**Clare POV**

Darkness, eternal darkness; at this moment that is what I want to hold onto forever. I don't want to wake up and return to my life; return to the drama that awaits for me there. When did my life become like this? Become this never ending drama filled life. I am a teenager who just wanted a normal life. Get good grades, make friends maybe go to a party here and there. I never wanted my life to be filled with a no good cheating boyfriend, a backstabbing best friend and apparently now a brainwashing new boyfriend. I knew I was different from other people but that's just because I thought I was weird. Now my life is everything but what I expected and honestly I don't want it. I don't want this new life that has led me to nothing but pain and sorrow. This new celebrity super status from the result of doing some fucked up reality TV show. None of that was me; none of that was suppose to happen.

I miss the little Saint Clare from Hanover; the girl who never did anything wrong and no one paid any attention to. What happened to that girl? Why am I the one who was chosen out of all the billions of people in the world to have all of this happen to me! I don't deserve this, I just don't.

"What do you mean she knows everything?" I could hear familiar faint voices in the background. "That's impossible." voice number one says.

"I don't know how she does but she knows! I don't know where we went wrong!" Voice number to encounters.

"We? This is all your fucking fault!"

"How is it my fault? I'm only doing this because you are fucking family and I have to!"

"Family doesn't mean shit to you so don't you dare fucking tell me that!"

The fighting seemed to come to a stop. I wanted to badly to open my eyes to understand where I was or what was happening but I was to scared. I didn't know where I was; I could remember what happened and damn my fucking leg stings from Drew stabbing the needle in me. He's not fucking smart at all.

"Take her back down to the basement and start over." Voice number one spoke again and at that I opened my eyes as far as they could go. Sitting straight up I look into the eyes of the person who stole my innocence.

"No." I say shyly to his demand. He looks down on me and smiles; he fucking smiled at me. You are joking right?

"Hello Clare." He says taking a seat next me. I squirm my way to the opposite side of the couch not wanting to be near him. Drew stands in front of us both watching me intently.

"I'm not going to the basement." I said stuttering a bit over my words.

"Hun, I am not giving you an option." He said with a smile yet it was so cold.

"Take me home now." I looked to Drew. I could see confliction across his face but I didn't understand what from. "Please Drew take me home."

"Clare why would you want to go home?" Devin asks me grasping my chin making me look over at him again. I struggle to break his hold.

"Don't touch me! I want to go home now!" I said as I slapped his arm away from me; he return the slap full force across my face. I raised my hand to my cheek feeling the already swollen area.

"Jesus Devin you don't have to fucking hit her!" Drew yelled at him.

"You shut the fuck up! You job is done get out!" Devin roared.

"You want me to leave? I'm not going anywhere!"

"I said get the fuck out!" He said standing to his feet. I think Drew knew when not to push to far; he grabbed his keys and walked out of the house but not before giving me an apologetic look.

I sat there on the couch looking up at Devin terrified as to what would happen next. Would he hit me? Would he rape me again? I don't want to be here.

"Eli." I spoke softly but Devin heard every bit of it.

"What did you say?" He looked down on me with angry eyes.

I couldn't speak or move, all I could do was just stare at him. I was to afraid of him to make the remark again but what I said had every meaning of wishing Eli was here to save me right now.

With a hurting grasp Devin picks me up from couch and uncaringly starts to pull me towards a door. Opening the door and walking down into the cold dark basement.

**Eli POV**

The mother fucker actually hit her!

It took everything I had right then not to bust through the door and rip his fucking head off. I wanted to badly to just run in there and hold Clare and tell her it was going to be ok but I knew I couldn't do that. To my surprise Drew actually stood up for her. Didn't make him much less of a dirty fucker in my mind but still at least he has some morals.

Devin screams at him before telling him to leave. Drew backs off and heads for the door. I don't know if this is the dumbest idea or the best but I still have to try. As soon as Drew is out the door I run over to him.

"Drew you have to get me in there."

"Jesus Eli!" He said jumping back from me. Good I scared the little bitch.

"I'm serious Drew we cant leave her alone in there with him! He's like her worst nightmare!"

"Well its about to get a lot worse! I can't help you Eli."

"Why the hell not? It's the least you can do! You fucking ruined her life and stole her from me!"

"Why the hell do you think I did that Eli?"

"How would I know!" I said a little too loudly. Drew takes a deep breath before chuckling a little and shaking his head slightly.

"Eli you fucking ruined my life. All of this shit wasn't my idea in the first place but I was happy to go along with it when he asked me to because I knew it would fucking make you miserable and that's what I wanted. I wanted you to suffer just like I did when you took Julia away from me. What you feel with Clare and how much it hurt you when I took her away, that exactly how it felt when you took Julia away from me. I helped him but I never thought it included everything I did."

"Drew what the hell did you do exactly." I ask curiously, and avoiding the apologetic feeling I have at what I did to him.

"Well this won't sound to pretty but I brainwashed the fuck out of her."

I almost punched the shit out of him and he seemed to notice as he took a few steps. I took in a deep breath as I run a hand through my hair. Focus Eli, just focus.

"How?"

"Eli its not as difficult as you think. Clare was never a real confident person; she always thought herself less than others. When you have someone like that its easy to take away everything they think. It took days to get her to completely let go of everything she knew, felt and believed in. Once you strip the person of their identity you create a new one. In my case I created one to love me but it was never for that purpose."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously.

"You really don't see it do you?" He asks and I just shake my head even more confused.

"It all leads to Devin, Eli. Devin is a possessive asshole. He may seem like he's a lunatic but really he just thinks he loves Clare. When they dated before he really did love her but when everything between them "happened" it destroyed her which meant it destroyed them as a couple. Devin never got over her; he was obsessed and thought that she was meant to be his. Having her break up with you was his first step into making her become his again. But that wasn't easy. You guys were never separated, that's why he tried to get Julia to come between you two."

"But Clare and I broke up on our own out of me being a cheater?" I questioned.

"You made that part easy for him. Ever since Devin got here he has basically done everything but stalk both of you. He knew you had gotten drunk that night because you made it pretty well known. What Alli doesn't remember is that night I came over there to get drunk with her. She can't remember because I gave her Everclear and a lot of it."

"Shit Drew that stuff can run a car!"

"Yes but it was easy to get her to drink and get her to you."

"It was apart of his plan."

"Yes."

"Ok, but aside from wanting to torture me I still don't see why you would agree to do something this potentially life threatening to Clare." I said with wonder.

"I didn't sign up for that. Here's the shocker for you, Devin is my cousin."

"What?" I said stunned.

"Yeah bet you didn't see that one coming. When he first asked me all he said was I want to win Clare back but I need to get her away from the Eli guy. I was all for that because well I fucking hated you."

"Gee thanks!" I said sarcastically.

Both of us whip our head towards the house at the sound of a blood curdling scream from Clare.

"Please Drew. You can hate me all you want. I'm sorry for what I did to you. Back then I didn't give a shit but right now I am scared for her and I love her more than anything. Please help me get to her."

"Eli… I cant."

"Damn it Drew please! You know me well enough that I do not beg for anything but for her I will do whatever the hell I need to."

He stood there pondering my words for only a moment before nodding his head to the house for me to follow him. Leading behind the house there was a small door connected to the side of the house. Like one of those old time houses with the cellar doors connected to the basement. Stooping next to it was a window and I looked inside to see Clare sitting on a chair holding her head in her hands as though she got hit again. Drew slowly and quietly lifted the door to the cellar and quietly crept down inside with me following him. I could hear a voice getting closer and it belonged to Devin. As we made our way down a short, dark and very still hallway we were met with a burst of light at the end. I peeked my head slightly around Drew to see Devin walking around Clare who was sitting perfectly still in the chair but was now bound to it.

"Clare this doesn't have to be so difficult. I just want to talk to you." Devin spoke in a menacing tone.

"I have nothing to say to you Devin." She spoke angrily. That's my girl.

"I just want to talk to you about us." He said coming to a stop in front of her. Bending down to look into her face, he softly strokes her cheek that only ten minutes ago he hit. He brings his lips up to it to plant a kiss on it. I began to move forward; I was going to get the bastard off of her. Drew put out his arm in front of me to stop me, shaking his head at me I step back.

"See that wasn't so bad was it? Don't you miss me Clara?" He said using his old nick name for her.

"You mean miss a pathetic piece of shit who treated me like a fucking whore? No how could I possibly miss that." Clare spoke between her teeth. Devin lifted his hand and slapped her across the face once more. Clare turned her face in our direction and lifter her eyes slowly and met my own. In that moment I knew she could see that I was there, and I was going to rescue her. Her eyes opened wide and a small but quick smirk came to her lips. I saw a calm wash over that sweet angelic face. It only lasted a second but with a wink to me she turned back to Devin now with a busted lip.

"I don't like to do this to you Clare but you need to learn how to speak to me. We have a long life together ahead of us and you need to be on your best behavior."

To my surprise Clare sat straight up in her seat and smiled sweetly up at Devin. "Yes Devin, please forgive me for my unkind words to you."

What the hell was she doing. I looked to Drew and could see a small smirk on his face. He knew what she was doing and approved of it deeply. Devin on the other hand seemed just as shocked as I was.

"Um.. You are forgiven." he spoke unevenly.

"Thank you so much Devin. I don't know what has gotten into me. I was just so angry with Drew this afternoon, when he told me everything you two had been doing to me."

I looked over to Drew who was now standing there with his mouth open and his eyes gaping wide. He shook his head and muttered "Bitch" quietly. I struggled to keep my laughing at ease.

"He told you everything? He said you figured it out." Devin questioned her.

"No Devin. He told me to meet him at The Dot. He said he had something important to tell me. I went and he told me everything. At first I didn't believe him but then I realized that-" She started to act like she was crying. Devin raised his hand to lift her now fallen face so he could look at her.

"You realized what sweetheart?" He asked her.

"That you did this all for me. That you still love me as much as I love you." When these words escaped her mouth I could see two things instantly. Clare was playing all this up to help us out to get her away from him; and second Devin was totally fucking clueless and eating up every word she was saying.

"You still love me?" He gasped.

"Devin of course I do! I always have and always will! You were everything to me when we were together! How could I just let that go?" She whispered. Devin reached up and grabbed her lips in a kiss to share between them. I knew Clare was faking but its not like it didn't kill me inside to see that she was still kissing someone else. At the moment that Devin was distracted, Drew slipped around the corner telling me to stay and he moved over to stand next to another dark corner of the room. He slowly and very quietly picked up a shovel grasping it tightly in his hands.

Clare broke away from the kiss to smile dreamily over at Devin. "Could you please untie me? I have been dying to feel you in my arms for too long." I couldn't help the sting of pain that came across my heart as she said these words to him even though I knew they were fake. I just hoped I would be the first one to hear those words.

Everything from there started moving so fast. Without hesitation Devin listened to her plea and untied the ropes from around her. Clare stood immediately and wrapped her arms around his waist holding him so close to her. I looked over at Drew who was right behind them, he gave me a nod holding up the shovel.

"CLARE GET DOWN!" I screamed and she followed my instructions immediately. The second she slid down from his grasp Drew swung the shovel into Devin's head causing him to fall down to the floor in unconsciousness. Clare screamed so loudly and I ran over to her and grabbed her. No time to have a reunion right here; so I picked her up and started running. Turning back quickly I looked at Drew who was still standing there looking down at Devin.

"Thank you so much Drew." I spoke with absolute sincerity. He looked to me giving me a nod and a smirk. With that I grabbed Clare and we ran out.

I was expecting her run with me to my house but instead she ran away. Ran away from me. She kept running and running and I kept yelling for her to stop but it was no use. She didn't go too far but when she came to a stop she just stood there, not facing me.

I stopped a few feet away from her, looking up into the sky noticing the rain that started to fall on both of us and the thunder that started to clap. I didn't move any closer and she didn't face me yet either. I just waited for her to make the next move. The rain started to pour down on us faster and faster, neither of us caring. Even though I could only see the back of her, she looked so beautiful. The rain had soaked through her perfect auburn curls straightening them out. Her clothes were soaking wet hanging from every part of her body. She was never more beautiful then the moment that she turned around to face me. The wet rain dripping from her face that melted together with the tears falling from her eyes.

"Why?" She asked me with a shaky voice. "Why didn't you fight for me?"

I feel the tears begin to form in my eyes as I see every piece of her breaking down. Every question floating to the surface as she seeks outs the answers for her life.

"Clare I did fight for you." I spoke honestly.

"Don't dare you lie to me Elijah Goldsworthy! Why didn't you fight for me?" She screamed at me.

I just stood there with my head looking down to the ground. She's right, I didn't fight for her. I thought when she told me to stay away that, that would show my love to her: By respecting her wishes.

"You told me not to, Clare." I said softly.

"You didn't love me enough to care!" She said. I snapped my head up to look into her pained eyes.

"That's not true! I have loved you since the very second I saw you walk into that Café. I have never cared more about anyone in my life since the day I met you!"

"Then why didn't you fight for me Eli!" she spoke the words that were now wounding my heart.

"I'm so sorry Clare. I thought I was protecting you in my own way. You told me to stay away and I wanted to give you the time to heal! I didn't know they were going to do this to you Clare!"

"Did you just forget about me?"

"Of course not Clare!" I yelled. Taking the risk I walked over to her placing my palms on her cheeks, I lifted her face gently to look at mine. The rain falling between the two of us only made Clare look more beautiful than ever.

"How could I forget those beautiful eyes that danced with mine the first time we me?" I softly placed a kiss on each eye lid.

"How could I forget that beautiful blush that comes to your cheek every time you are around me." I placed a tender kiss on each cheek.

"How could I forget these hands that played with my hair at night when we laid down to sleep." I kissed each finger tip on each hand taking my time.

"And how could I forget these beautiful lips that I have longed to reconnect with for so long." I gently placed a small sweet kiss onto her beautiful pink lips, savoring every moment as she kissed me back sweetly. I broke away softly looking into her amazing blue orbs trying to send every emotion I felt to her.

"Clare how could I forget you?" I spoke softly choking back on my own words.

"Why did this happen Eli?" She whispered.

"Baby, I don't know but its all over now." I placed my forehead against hers closing my eyes.

"When I remembered everything today, Eli it scared me. That's why I ran away from you. I'm still scared."

"You don't have to be scared. I'm here now."

"Eli, please don't leave me."

I looked into her eyes and before kissing her with the most amazing kiss we have ever shared I whispered "Never."

I knew in the distance that the rain never stopped, but the moment Clare and I kissed it was like the world stopped. Nothing in the world could break what we shared at this moment. Placing my hands on her face and pulling her closely to me I devoured her lips. It had been so long since I have been able to hold this sweet angel of mine. Kissing her now felt as though it had been a thousand years apart but we are just picking back up where we left off.

Pulling away I looked down at her face seeing a smile on her lips and her eyes flutter open.

"I love you Eli." she spoke clearly.

"I love you too Clare."

With that there was nothing in the world that could stop us or tear us apart. When I looked around to see where we were I felt as though it was meant to happen here all along. She had ran to the park and we were standing close to the little creek in the back of it. I grabbed her hand and led her to the shelter of picnic tables close by. Once under cover from the rain I turned to look at her. I wiped away the rain drops and tears that still stain her face.

Pulling her closer to me I dipped my head into the crook of her neck and place sweet chaste kisses on every inch of her skin, moving the shoulder of her shirt down slightly so I can nibble and respect every inch of her silky skin. I repeat this process onto the other shoulder treating it just as special as the other.

Pulling back I look into Clare's eyes before slowly lifting her shirt up and off of her body and unhooking her bra to reveal what was perfectly created to be mine. Casting her clothes away I place my lips on her collar bone and across her breasts as she placed her delicate hands into my hair. She then took advantage to pull and tug on my shirt and toss it carelessly away. Deciding it was her turn she began to place her mouth over every inch of my chest kissing, biting, licking and nibbling.

Looking at me intently she reaches down to my pants and teasingly slowly unbuttons and drops them to my ankles exposing me completely. With a raised eye brow and smirk she glances up at me.

"No underwear these days now Goldsworthy?" I smile and laugh at my Clare back to her old wonderful self.

Gripping at her waist I release her pants that block me away from this beautiful girl; laughing when I see that my Clare is smiling at her lack of under garments as well.

"None for you either Edwards?"

Smiling she reaches her hands up to my face and caresses every inch of it. Remembering every part as though she will soon forget. I bring her closer to me as I lower her onto the cold ground, neither of us paying any attention to the world around us. For tonight it is only me and Clare. Tonight is about both of us rekindling a fire that was put out and stolen away from us. I feel nothing but love radiating off of me. I have missed every part of this girl. She always belonged to me and not in a possessive away but in two hearts always meant to be together.

Laying slightly down on top of her I position all my weight onto my elbows as I look into her eyes and mesmerize her face. How could I possibly have lived for so long without her. As she touches me now I can feel that she is thinking the same thing. It has been tortuous for us both but now we have everything we ever need right here.

Everything feels so slow, but so perfect. We begin to kiss each other with deep love and passion. This wasn't a moment of lust for either of us, this was a reunion after so long of being torn apart. Every kiss meant more to me than the last. With every moment that passes the last is gone and the new one is welcomed.

Kissing my way down to her breasts I can hear her moaning softly and agreeing with everything I do. I take my time on each one showing them the love and affection they deserve. Trailing my kisses down over her breasts and across her stomach I place more on her thighs making her breath hitch in approval. Bringing myself up I look Clare in the eyes and see her face urging me on to continue. I lean down to her face and the moment I kiss her sweet lips I insert my self inside of her causing us both to moan out in ecstasy. Feeling her walls contract around me, and her hands wandering about my body unsure of where to go. I kiss her again deeply as we bask in this moment that both of us have longed for, for so long.

With each kiss I began to slowly move in rhythm. Clare bucking her hips softly as she joins me in our bliss. In the moment of this I realize that this was the moment I truly made love to her.

Our rhythm became quicker and erratic. Each time I would glide deeper inside of her she would whisper my name so softly. As our timing together was perfect I was pumping in and out of her quickly while both of us were enjoying our perfect moment back together spent.

"Eli." She moaned out loud.

I pumped myself inside of her faster begging her to cum for me. I could feel her walls start to convulse around me which only made me go harder and faster. Wanting to please her in every way possible I brought my thumb to her already throbbing and wet clit. Rubbing smooth and quick circles over it earning a scream from her in approval. Her head thrashing from side to side as she continued to yell and scream my name.

Both of us at the same time screamed out each others names as we both rode out our orgasms. Each of us on a high that we would never want to come down off of. As our rhythm slowed down to a stop and all that was heard between us was heavy breathing I laid myself down next to her. Wrapping her in my arms as she place her head on my chest I kissed her wet frizzing hair and smiled in contentment.

"I missed you so much Eli." She said through tears.

"Why are you crying?" I asked softly running my hands up and down her side.

"I just don't understand why all this has happened to us."

"Baby there's no need to try and understand it. All that matters now is that we are together again and no one is going to take you away from me again. No one."

"I love you so much Eli."

Those words now meant more to me than anytime she had spoke them to me before. It has been one hell of a roller coaster between the two of us but now its come to a stop. As we step off the roller coaster together I know that Clare and I can finally be together in the way that we had always wanted to. No matter what happened this past year I don't care about any of it. All that I care about is that right now I am holding the most precious and valuable person in my life. I would never let her go and no matter what I will always fight for her.

"I love you too, Blue Eyes."

**It's safe to say that I am crying right now because it's all over : ( I want to thank you all so much for letting me write this story and being so kind as to read it! It has meant so much to me. Its been a wonderful journey. **

**Thank you! -MunroInMyChambers-**

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	18. Chapter 18

**Explination at the bottom...**

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"Here's to the Class of 2011!"

Everyone erupted in cheers in screams as we all gathered together in Fiona's back yard to celebrate our amazing accomplishments.

Today was our High School graduation and a day that would be remembered for the rest of our lives.

I was surrounded by my best friends and the greatest people in my life feeling elated at the sheer happiness I feel when around them. I look around me to see the same excitement adorning their faces as we all come together.

"We did it you guys and... Its finally over." Adam smiled to each of us as we returned his smile just knowing exactly what he meant in his words.

It's been five months since that night that everything was brought back to us. There were no more tears, or talks about everything bad that had happened to us. The only thing now that was apart of relationship now was the purest of all love.

Everything between me and Eli was forgiven and forgotten. I had learned to understand that what Eli had done that night with Ali was a mistake. I cant go on forever hating him for something I know he wasn't in control of. If I'm being honest with myself I knew that Eli was not that kind of person and he would never intentionally hurt me.

All of our lives, including Ali, Fitz and Adam have now basically gotten back to normal. Ali and I are on better terms than ever. Just like with Eli I knew it was a mistake and I don't feel the energy or the want to hold it against her. We both have talked about everything that has happened and how it affected us but once all was said it has never been spoken of again. Fitz and Adam were explained go about what happened and were honestly extremely pissed but chose to let it go and not speak of it again.

As for the rest of the world they still don't know exactly what happened. They all think that Eli cheating on me broke me down so much that I clouded myself with the idea of wanting Drew. Having them think that was fine by me and was better than them knowing the actual truth. Since the show wasn't filming at the time Eli and I had figured everything out the world seen the season finale of Degrassi as a few months after my birthday party in December and Drew and I were supposedly happy. Yeah Right.

Filming started up again a few weeks after Eli and I were back together and for the soul purpose of the show Ali and I made up a fake conversation of how Drew and I "Ended"; The world was happy so that's what we stuck to. In the end it was a better and easier explination for all.

Now here in the present I'm amazed at the strength this group has truly shown. We all huddle together in a circle hugging each other and celebrating together.

"Fuck man all I gotta say is thank God you pulled that cheesy shit and sang like a girl to Clare that one day!" Fitz said.

"And why is that?" Eli responded.

"We all might not be here together as friends if you wouldn't have." Adam said for him.

"You really think so?" Alli asked.

"No, I don't." I smiled gently to all of them. "I think our friendship with each other was meant to be. We would have all found one another eventually." I felt Eli kiss the side of my head and whisper his I love you into my ear.

"I think you're right... Here everyone lets toast!" Fitz said grabbing a bottle out of his jacket and unscrewing the cap to give us each just a little in the glasses we were already holding from the Class toast.

"This is... To us." He spoke with gratitude. "Today is the end of a very long chapter in our lives. Tomorrow is the start of a brand new future. Even though our life choices may lead us down different pathways we will always be together. We are a family, not just friends. All of us together." Fitz finished raising his glass with the rest of us in toast as we drank to our future.

"Wow man who knew you had it in you!" Eli smirked.

"What? I paid attention to Mrs. Dawes sometimes! She's hot!" He exclaimed.

"Eww!" Alli screeched.

"Gross!"

"Perv."

"Wow man." All of us joined in with laughter at one of our many funny moments together.

Together. Its a beautiful word. Together we have conquered a mass if obstacles and together we are standing stronger than ever. Its not the end but only the beginning; just this time on a different page.

"Together Forever." Eli whispered into my ear. I looked over to his sweet face that help my beloved and perfect green eyes.

"Forever." I whispered back.

Forever. The five of us will be together.

Eli, Fitz, Adam, Alli, and myself: Together Forever.

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**-hides behind computer chair- PLEASE don't hate me! I am so sorry I am doing this. Please know it was never my intention to do this. I am seriously crying because I feel terrible. I will not be continuing with the sequel. I have tried so hard to continue to write it and it just is not happening. I wish I didn't have to but for this story I just feel this is the better path for it. I love you all and am so thankful for your support through this story. I can promise you I will NEVER do this again! I love you all! Thank You!**

**-MunroInMyChambers-**


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